Tag Archives: relationships

Buster and Moo, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Welcome to this week’s edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and with me in the studio today is a beautiful Jack Russel, Stafforshire cross known alternately as Buster and Moo. “Welcome to the show, and how would you like me to refer to you?”

“Is it okay to lick you, Lisa? I kind of have this thing about holding out my paw all the time and shaking it. Then if you don’t give me a treat I’m probably going to slobber into the microphone. What was the question? Oh, my name. Currently Moo.”

“How did you come to have two different names? Is one an alias of some kind?”

“Ha! Two names? I’ve had, let me see? Six? Maybe seven. There was the one my mother gave me, the one the guy who brought my dad to meet mum that time – she said he smelt of cardboard. Then… sorry, I do get distracted. The people who I was looking after last, before my latest move, called me Buster after the shape of my head being like some film character they liked. That was Sheri. Lovely b… oh sorry, nearly used the ‘b’ word. Female. She’s the only one who I understand, you know? Makes it clear what she wants and when she wants it. Tough, no messing about but clear. Not like her dog, sorry bloke, Dave. Right old temper he has. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a wrestle and a bit of tug of war but how am I meant to know when to stop if he doesn’t say? One minute it’s ‘go on boy, pull’ and then next he’s shouting and throwing me about. Means well but going away, prison, that didn’t help. Made him jealous too, you know? He eats this stuff she doesn’t like. Like icing sugar, up his snout. Weird and makes him all fizzing. They were getting to be a bit of trial, you know so when they said they had to move kennels and I couldn’t stay I wasn’t completely against the idea. I’ll miss them but not so much Dave, not until he calms down, yeah? Then I had to go to this place with cages and noise and it was hell.”

“That’s terrible, and it must be confusing for you. I hope you found some good pet parents to love you.”

“Pet parents? Yeah, I suppose that’s what they think but, Lisa, you have to understand that it’s my job to look after humans. They are just so away with the faeries, never focusing on the important stuff: food, walks, ear fondles, licks, tummy rubs and… did I mention food? Anyway, I was in this internment camp for a week when Landen and Mervin appeared. You could smell their problems a way off. To begin with Landen had a whiff of the Dave’s, you know what I mean? And Mervin was this gangly dreamer who never really says what he’s smelling. Mind you they have a great kennel with its own private park and loads of food – a bit dodge some of it, made me a touch gastric for a while until I sorted out what pate was – and their place is always warm. I knew straight away I had to work on Mervin – I mean you couldn’t feel his ribs, okay? Padded. She was off all the time, something funny to her smells. But walking Mervin was trial. I’d set off, you know, trying to get him to move, if we were ever going to shift his belly, and he’d be moaning at me to slow down but he was the one saying he needed the exercise. As I said, inconsistent, they weren’t like Sheri. I didn’t know what they wanted, really.”

“Wasn’t it better than with Sheri and Dave? Having someone home with you, and you get lots of nice walks, it’s warm, and good food.”

“Yes, but look then there was that thing, that meeting, Caused a lot of problems.”

“How?”

“He likes this park, with this big lake in it. Me too. There’s a café nearby we go to after and share a cake. I think he thinks it’s healthy if he gives me half and I ain’t complaining.. Sorry, drifting again. That’s when we met Sheri.”

“The Sheri who you lived with?”

“Exactly. She cleans in this posh house, on the edge of the park, not that I knew. One day Mervin’s sitting on a bench and I catch her scent. I’d know her from a mile a way. I know these humans get all possessive and worked up about kiddies and roads and all that but this was park, just grass and some gravel between me and her so I set off to say hello. It would be rude not to. I got under this gate and gave her the biggest kiss. Then she met Mervin, when he wanted me back and there was a fuss about the key to the gate and they had a cigarette, not that Mervin smelt of cigs before then and that caused problems with Landen. Mervin fancied Sheri, right off.”

“How do you know that, Moo? No, please don’t lick me.”

“We dogs can smell 240 times as many things as humans so smelling when someone wants a bit of rumpty isn’t hard. She smelt of bathrooms and he smelt of bedrooms. Ha. Joke, yeah?”

“You said it caused a problem? Did Mervin make a pass at her?”

“Make a pass? Goodness, do you read Mills and Boon? No, see Sheri got me to sit, as I would cos she’s like that and he asked for lessons, said he’d pay. She needs the money, right, given Dave found it hard to work being out of prison. So we had lessons, but she knew Dave wouldn’t understand, her with a strange bloke, being the jel sort. And he told Landen he was getting lessons for me but not who with nor that he fancied her, mainly because he wasn’t getting any at home because she was smelling of another dog, sorry bloke. Not that he knew cos he couldn’t smell it like I could.”

“What else can you smell?”

“That stuff Dave sticks up his schnozzle, yeah? Sheri taught me to tell her when I smelt that and other things Sheri didn’t like him using. Landen likes a bit of that, you know?”

“Did you say she was a lawyer? Maybe she had a client who used these naughty things?”

“Really Lisa? How often do you get out? I mean there’s the benefit of the doubt and all, but come on.”

“But wouldn’t Mervin know, if she was using?”

“He wasn’t the sort to notice, frankly, that’s why I had to look after him. That and stopping him getting into trouble with Sheri. You only had to look at his puppy face when he saw her to know what was going on in his head. Poor thing. It all got a bit complicated you see. When Dave found out about Mervin and Landen found out about Dave. Mervin did these leaflet things for Dave – he mended stuff – though Sheri didn’t tell Dave where she got them and Landen found one and called Dave who came round. Of course, I was only being polite when I jumped up at him and he threw me around but I could tell immediately they were both angry at their partners. Landen got all moody and started staying home, something about her job which Mervin didn’t believe. And then I stayed with Sheri for a bit – and Dave was in a right state. I thought I’d be back in that awful place with bars soon as they all started fighting with each other. Dave moved out and Landen had this amazing news, but Mervin wasn’t sure about it…”

“News?”

“They kept saying they mustn’t say so I won’t but it sort of changed everything. And then the police turned up, because of something she’d done, or not done, at work and she wouldn’t tell him and he got upset…”

“Oh my gosh, you poor baby. What are you going to do?”

“What I’m bred for, Lisa. To look after them and keep them together. It may take me the whole book but I will do my very best. “

“Let me give you a big old hug, and see if there are any treats left from Craig’s canine characters. Before we walk over to the cabin, do you have any closing thoughts for our listeners?”

“They’re like all humans, Lisa, just a bundle of complications which if they’d only lick each other a bit more and listen better then things wouldn’t have gotten to be so bad. They’re good people who make things difficult. But they can rely on me. Time for a lick?”

“You can read all about Moo’s conundrum in the book, Buster and Moo, by Geoff Le Pard. I’ll include all the pertinents on the website. For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.

“Come on, Moo, let’s go find you a cookie.

“Oh, before I forget, please use the sharing buttons today to spread the word about Buster and Moo. I’m sure Geoff would appreciate it, and Moo would do it for your character when you’re on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

Buster & Moo – Blurb

 

 

With their relationship under pressure, is adopting a dog the best decision for Mervin and Landen? As they adapt to fit the animal into their busy lives a chance encounter with Dave and Sheri, the dog’s previous owners, develops into something more and the newfound friendship is tested to the limits.

 

Life is complicated when Landen loses her job following the discovery of her affair with a colleague and then she becomes involved in a police investigation into alleged money laundering and drug dealing at her old firm. She tries desperately to keep the sordid truth from Mervin as events begin to spiral out of control.

 

As the four lives overlap and criss-cross the one constant is their shared love of the dog named Moo. But the problems mount up. While Sheri and Mervin grow close as they struggle to help each other, it is the unlikely alliance between Sheri and Landen that leads to the dramatic climax. However, there is only room for one hero in this story – who will it be?

Smashwords Amazon.co.uk Amazon.com

***

Geoff Le Pard started writing to entertain in 2006. He hasn’t left his keyboard since. When he’s not churning out novels he writes some maudlin self-indulgent poetry, short fiction and blogs at geofflepard.com. He walks the dog for mutual inspiration and most of his best ideas come out of these strolls. He also cooks with passion if not precision.

Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle is a coming of age story. Set in 1976 the hero Harry Spittle is home from university for the holidays. He has three goals: to keep away from his family, earn money and hopefully have sex. Inevitably his summer turns out to be very different to that anticipated.

Smashwords

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

 

This 30 story anthology covers many genres: fantasy, romance, humour, thriller, espionage, conspiracy theories, MG and indeed something for everyone. All the stories were written during Nano 2015

Smashwords

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Amazon.com

 

 

 

My Father and Other Liars is a thriller set in the near future and takes its heroes, Maurice and Lori-Ann on a helter-skelter chase across continents.

Smashwords

 

Amazon.co.uk

 

Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

Salisbury Square is a dark thriller set in present day London where a homeless woman and a Polish man, escaping the police at home, form an unlikely alliance to save themselves.

This is available here

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Amie in Africa visits Lisa Burton Radio

Today is Thursday, and that means it's time for another edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and my very special guest today is Amie Fish. “Welcome to the show, Amie.”

“I’m really pleased to be on the show Lisa thank you for asking me.”

“So what possesses a newlywed to uproot and move half-way around the world to darkest Africa?”

“I didn’t have a choice, Lisa. My newly married husband was offered a job in Togodo and it was expected that I go with him. I wasn’t looking forward to it, not one little bit. I had a good job in a local television production company and my family lived in the same town. I was quite happy as I was.”

“My bio says you got a little bored, and went to work using your journalism skills for an Army Colonel. What kind of reporting did you do?”

“Let’s backtrack a bit here. I was most certainly not bored. There was plenty going on at the Expats club, and I helped out at a local orphanage as well. And then we went to stay at a game lodge and the owner there taught us so much about the wild life and how the Bushman survived, and the wild plants you could eat and where to find water. It was all so fascinating. I think it was then that I fell in love with Africa.”

“Well it does say here you were blackmailed? Tell us about the blackmail. “

“This colonel just pitched up at my door one morning and asked me to film some projects for him. I didn’t want to, in Africa you steer clear of getting involved in anything with the authorities. But he hinted that Jonathon, my husband, would not be allowed to work and … well, as you can see I felt I had no choice. And the awful part about it – these projects were pure propaganda, there was no truth in any of the projects he asked me to show about their work uplifting the local community. Then, to make matters even worse I was asked to film the result of an ambush, and that was just awful. I did it twice and then made a firm decision not to do any more for him, no matter what the consequences were.”

“Good for you, standing up for what you believe in. What led to you take this stand?”

“It’s dangerous getting involved with politics when you’re a guest in a country, and by then I had fostered a child and I didn’t want any harm to come to her. I was hoping that maybe I could even possibly adopt her?”

“So what did you do?”

“Before I had a chance to refuse to work for the colonel again, the civil war broke out and I was flung in prison. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I managed to escape but the only way I could get to safety was to walk to the neighbouring country. I then had to remember everything I had learned about surviving in the wild.”

“It all sounds exciting, and dangerous. What did you–“

“Sorry, Lisa, I just can't. It's time for me to take another stand. That Clarke woman put me through hell… I can’t begin to list the things – torture, prison, a firing squad, escaping lions, more than once. You know she may have lived in Africa for decades, but I don’t think she had to endure the horrors she put me through. She’s now writing book four and I have to put a stop to it. And did I mention how many people she kills off just by tapping a few keys on her laptop? So now I’m seeking an injunction to keep Lucinda E Clarke from writing any more Amie stories, enough is enough.”

“I get it. Fictional characters have it tough. I got shot, electrocuted, and lost a couple of friends, as in dead, in the course of my story.”

“Well I'm not going to take it any longer. I’m looking into crowd funding, I’m mentioning it in the blogs and newsletters and I’ve already got a high end lawyer in London to serve her a warning. This interview is a great chance to get as much support as I can. There must be thousands of other fictional characters out there who are prepared to stand up to their authors, this is just the beginning of the revolution.”

“Amie, I think this might be a first. A fictional character suing her author. It looks like we have a caller. Hello, caller, you're on the air with Lisa and Amie.”

“Good morning Lisa, I’m Lucinda E Clarke, and I’d like you to terminate this interview immediately. It’s grossly inaccurate.”

“I have only spoken the truth, you did throw me in prison, you deliberately let me poison myself, you left me defenseless and alone.”

“You’re still alive aren’t you? I got you out of it all–“

“You didn’t have to put me in those situations in the first place. When you started writing about me I thought the books about me were going to be cosy and romantic and having babies and–“

“I gave you a more exciting life than that!”

“Oh sure you did, but you never consulted me did you? Well you’ve gone too far this time, especially the shock at the beginning of book 3 that was the final straw.”

“You had a new career waiting for you–“

“Yes, one I didn’t ask for and one I hate.”

“It’s obvious you are not going to listen to reason – while you are busy suing me, I can see that I have a radio show to counter sue and I shall have a restraining and gagging order on you.”

<click>

What a controversy. Thank you for agreeing to be on the show, Amie. Listeners who want to learn more about Amie's plight can pick up the ‘Amie in Africa’ series. I'll include all the links on the website.”

“Well thank you for listening to me Lisa, at least there is one person who understands. Lucinda doesn’t care, it’s just good to have one shoulder to cry on, even if you are a robot.”

“So how about it, listeners? Which side of this controversy are you on? Should authors go easier on their characters, or should the characters just buck-up and take it? Let's hear it in the comments.

“And don't forget to use those sharing buttons. I know Amie and Lucinda would appreciate it, and you will too when your character is on a future edition of Lisa Burton Radio. Have a great day everyone.”

***

Purchase Links:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWFIO5K

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B015CI29O4

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M67NRG4

Lucinda E. Clarke Bio:

Abandoned in the African bush with a 9 week old baby and no resources Lucinda could look back on a childhood of mental abuse, without knowing that before her lay an even more bizarre future. She would run the worst riding school in the world, broadcast live with a bayonet at her throat, be fired from her teaching position and thrown into the media world. She would learn how to lie in the name of propaganda, write about dozens of topics for a variety of clients and have her own newspaper column. She would meet kings and statesmen, international artists and rural Africans. She would win several awards along the way for her scripting and films. Eventually she would reluctantly leave Africa to retire in Spain. A few months later she would begin writing books – six to date in a variety of genres – and start a whole new career.

Follow Lucinda at the following locations:

Blog Amazon UK Goodreads Google+ Pinterest LinkedIn Twitter YouTube Facebook

 

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WanderLynn Group LLC, on Lisa Burton Radio

Welcome to this week's edition of Lisa Burton Radio, the only show where the characters from books get to voice their opinions and concerns. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and with me today is Cynthia Black. Cynthia is “Girl Friday” for Lynn Sutton at WanderLynn Group LLC. “Welcome to the show, Cynthia. I'm a girl Friday type myself, so I know you have the good kind of information. What is the WanderLynn Group?”

“First of all, I am nobody’s ‘Girl Friday’, okay? I have recently been promoted to VP of Operations for The WanderLynn Group. We are a luxury boutique concierge service that caters to wealthy clients. We provide one of a kind travel experiences around the world. Travel with us and you’ll never travel first class again. You were right about one thing, I do have all of the juicy info because the owner, Lynn Sutton and I are BFFs.”

“Now, Lynn is independently wealthy, but she also has a man in her life and he's even richer. They must get up to all kinds of things internationally.”

“What are you trying to say? My girl Lynn is nobody’s gold digger, if that’s what you’re implying. You should save that for question for Meredith. I bet she put you up to this, huh?”

“Sorry? I don't know who Meredith is.”

“Yeah right. Since you want to play dumb, let me spill this tea. Meredith is Connor’s ex-wife. You know Connor, Lynn’s new man. Anyway, the woman is wretched. She is always messing with my girl, staying in her business and trying to break the happy couple apart. She’s the real gold digger, only marrying Connor for his big bank account. She must be crazy as fine as that man is. Anyway, I know she put you up to this. If not her, then it must be Renea. You know she’s in love with Lynn.

“Whoo boy! It sounds like we've left love triangle behind and gone straight into quadrilateral.”

“Look, Renea is a really good friend, she can't help her feelings for Lynn. I assure you Lynn and Connor only have eyes for each other. No quadrilateral or triangle involved.”

“Hold that thought, Cynthia. We have a caller today.

“Hello caller, you're on the air with Lisa and Cynthia.”

“Hello, Lisa. This is Meredith Wyatt, and was just listening to the show. Let me say for the record that I don’t even know this individual, so why she has my name in her mouth is beyond me. Yes, I was married to Connor, and yes I married him for his money. Everybody knows that. That’s just how things are done in my world. Who wants to end up with a broken heart? Speaking of which, that husband stealer Lynn Sutton is going to get hers. Nobody takes what’s mine and gets away with it.”

“Hold up Meredith! Lynn did NOT steal your husband. More like you threw him away. And furthermore, they never even got busy until after your divorce!”

“So you say, but I have it on good authority that they were seeing each other when Connor and I were still married. She even had the nerve to come to my home with those rugrats of hers.”

“Now you’ve gone too far! Nobody talks about Lynn’s kids. If I could reach through this phone it would be an episode of Atlanta Housewives in here!”

“Are you threatening me?”

“I don’t use idle threats. I beat chicks like you down!”

“Ladies, ladies, we're just here to talk about Cynthia and her role in WanderLynn Group.”

“Right! That's why the questions were all about Lynn and Connor. Lynn never touched Connor until after he divorced that cow on the other line. They were good friends. In fact my girl was in a seven year drought because she was raising her niece and nephew and didn’t want to bring random men around.

“If you really want to know some dirt, let’s talk about how Meredith insulted my girl at dinner liking her to homeless people or how about when Meredith refused to go to brunch with them, then showed up out of the blue and made a big scene as if they were cheating? And speaking of cheating, why not ask Meredith about the dude she was seeing throughout her entire marriage. What’s his name, Malcolm Forbes right?”

“Wait a minute. Who told you I was seeing Malcolm?”

“Thanks for calling in today <click> Now, Cynthia,… are you talking about the famous football player, Malcolm Forbes?”

“None other. The man was stalking my girl Lynn, trying to get with her. Come to find out, he was seeing Meredith the whole time. I wouldn’t put it past her to talk him into trying to seduce Lynn so she could break Connor and Lynn apart.”

“That seems like a lot of drama. How do you have time to run the company?”

“Trust me, our clients are very well taken care of.”

“With that in mind, I have some vacation time saved up. Do you think you could put together a week somewhere for me? Maybe include some gambling of some kind?”

“I don't know if you can afford us, but we might be able to do something like a cruise. Providing you don't gamble away your return ticket.”

“Oh, honey, it isn't gambling the way I do it. I'll get your contact info off-the-air.

“The sponsor of today's show is The WanderLynn Experience Series, by author L. Loren. I'll post all the details on the website. For Lisa Burton Radio, I'm Lisa Burton, and don't forget to use those sharing buttons. L. Loren and Cynthia will appreciate it, and she'll do the same for you when your character appears here.”

***

The WanderLynn Experience Series

Book 1 – The Layover

Book 2 – Island Adventures

Book 3 – Destination Home

This three part love story with an edge of sexy, focuses on Lynn Sutton and Connor Wyatt. These friends turned lovers embark on a wild, sexy adventure of falling in love.

Outside forces try to tear them apart in more ways than one. Can their fragile love survive the attacks? Will Connor and Lynn's love be enough to get them through the heartache and danger? Will they have the HEA they have been longing for?

Find out in this thrilling 3 book series by author L. Loren.

Purchase Link

L. Loren is a former call center supervisor currently based in Greenville, SC with her loving and supportive husband. Growing up the youngest of seven in a small town in North Carolina, she embraced her love of reading which helped to develop her imagination. Her desire to write lay dormant for years until she found the courage to look within and her passion could no longer be ignored.

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