Tag Archives: Lisa Burton

Where have all the bloggers gone?

This post is going to ramble here and there. You’ve been warned.

A few years ago, WordPress became the simple way for small businesses to creat a web presence. I get it, they have templates, you can make multiple pages and widgets will help too.

I’m still gathering followers, but they are all small businesses now. I’ve gotten plumbers, clock makers, and lots of travel companies. Some of these folks might be interesting, and they might honestly be interested in my fiction. However, I think they are simply trying to gather followers using the Twitter method. How this helps an Etsy store or travel agency is beyond me.

Where are all the next generation authors? I used to glean a couple of those per week. I’m not really into poetry, but I used to get a few of those per week too. It’s much more likely that I would have something in common with those folks. It could be fiction, or even the self promotion blues, but something.

Is anyone else seeing this happen on your sites?

I also have some who drop off the face of the Earth every year. We’re good friends, everything is cool, and they just disappear. There has been a bit of an increase in that this year. Two of my friends crawled out of the woodwork this week after long absences. Maybe they’ll stay, maybe they won’t, but I wish them all well either way.

In other news, I skipped Lisa Burton Radio this week. Last week was on purpose because of the holidays. I have a half dozen interviews circulating in cyberspace right now, but nobody delivered in time. Oddly enough, I heard from two of them this evening. I’m pretty sure there will be something up next week.

If you are interested in taking part in Lisa Burton Radio, she is about due for more guests. To make this work, there are usually a half dozen in process at any time. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out, like today.

Lisa’s show remains pretty popular, so if you have a pending release or a promotion in the works you might consider making this one of your stops. They usually take a couple of weeks, but can be done in a weekend. Other folks are long term planners and take months.

I also attract a lot of beauty bloggers. This has to be because of Lisa. Honestly, some of them give me ideas for the next piece of Lisa artwork.

Just look at that face. Don’t you want your character on her show?

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Filed under Blogging, Writing

2017, from a robot’s perspective

Lisa Burton here today. It seems 2017 took some offense to Craig’s last post and his furnace went out. The same one he’s still making payments on. He’s kind of busy right now, so I decided to cover for him.

My job involves being Craig’s personal assistant, and serving as his spokesmodel. This takes me to some awesome places, and I get to wear some fun outfits along the way. I also get to keep the swag from the posters I’m in. You can bet I’m wearing that awesome fur as I put this together. (Craig still hasn’t discovered the bomb hanging from a hoist in the basement.) Anyway, I’m not the writer here so I decided to post a photo collage of the year I had. Hope you enjoy.

There’s also some fun stuff on the calendar for 2018. Hope you guys will stick around.

Lisa Burton

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Filed under Muse

Merry Christmas everyone

It’s time to be with family and friends. I’ll be squeezing in some work projects in the quiet hours, but they won’t be on the blog. We have grandchildren to visit and holiday cheer to spread.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. I’ll be back later this week. Lisa produced this poster as her gift to all the collectors out there, and she wishes you a Merry Christmas too.

Lisa Burton

Lisa Burton hacking in here. I told Craig to tell everyone I only wear fake fur. You know I love animals. Merry Christmas to everyone. Now I’m off to wrap some vegetables for Bunny’s Christmas.

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Filed under Uncategorized

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is a national holiday here in the USA. We set this day aside to give thanks for the benefits we’ve enjoyed in the previous year. Unfortunately, it’s changed from a day of feasting and family to a minor event.

Christmas shopping is the big deal, and we want to forget all about the Pilgrims, Indians, and turkeys. I have to work tomorrow, so my family will have to do their Black Friday shopping without me – darn it.

I’m thankful for the many friends I’ve made through this medium. I’ve met mentors, mentees, fans, friends, and colleagues here. I hope next year brings even more.

I find inspiration in many places, music, people watching, film, and art. Today, I want to talk about art. There is an outstanding artist named, Jaroslav Weiczorkiewicz. He is a photographer with mad Photoshop skills. He is replicating the old-school pinup art, but putting his unique spin on things. He basically throws milk at his models, and takes thousands of photographs of the resulting splash. Then he goes into the studio and uses Photoshop to create one image of the model wearing a milk dress.

These have been around for a few years now, and I was always impressed by them. It takes a unique mind to come up with something like this, and a patient and talented person to pull off the final product.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Lisa Burton would like to remind you all to save room for dessert today. Happy Thanksgiving from Entertaining Stories.

Lisa Burton

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Back in the swing of things

I went to work on Monday. I figured I could get more done at half speed by going to work than I could by staying at home. I ran out of gas about halfway through the afternoon, but that time got longer each day. I hit it hard all day today.

My cold doesn’t mean I was completely idle on the writing front. I sent out two copies of The Hat to beta readers. I also received beta feedback on my novel, The Yak Guy Project. In addition, I have two Lisa Burton Radio interviews to work on now, and several more inquiries.

Today started like any other; in the dark and covered by bulldogs.

Frankie is across my lap just below Otto in this image. (They love me.) Before I left for work, I received the first Lisa Burton promotional poster for The Hat. That gives me a cover and one poster.

By the time I got home, I already received one full beta workup on The Hat. I am so excited about the remarks here. It went over well, and I can’t wait to share it with you. Tonight, I sent off a lengthy email to Sean Harrington for the second promotional Lisa poster. I included a lot of photos this time, because it’s a big scene in the story being represented.

Looks like this weekend is all about editing either the novel or the novella. I also have some interviews to get to. No idea what kind of time I’m going to have, but it feels good to get back to full power.

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Filed under Writing

Fresh from the oven, it’s Macabre Macaroni

Lisa Burton
Welcome to Macabre Macaroni, 2017. I’m Lisa Burton, the robot girl, and I’m going to host the stories this year. I posted my new image full size this time, because some of you collect them. I’ll tone it down in the following weeks.

Macabre Macaroni will post every Tuesday in October, and it’s a collection of micro-fiction from my author C. S. Boyack. Today’s story explores the special relationship between parents and children. Some things are a bit confusing here, but that’s on purpose. It all becomes clear in the end.

Oh, and try not to cry, it’s bad for your circuits and messes up your cool Halloween mascara.

Life in the Shadows

Mindy folded a corner on the book she was reading. Something called an Experimental Notebook of some sort. She looked up at her daughter, Olivia, running around the playground.

Mindy decided to read another short story. Olivia seemed to be enjoying herself and it was such a nice day. Flowers bloomed, and the scent from the municipal rose garden made it all so much more lovely. She turned back to her book, when a man caught her attention.

He was only in her peripheral vision, and looked so tired and lonesome. He watched Olivia as she went down the slide. Mindy panicked and walked over to her daughter. The man was nowhere to be seen. “Time to go, honey. I still need to fix dinner. Your father’s working late again tonight.”

She buckled Olivia into her booster seat and drove three miles to her apartment. Olivia never fussed and always did what she was asked, the perfect child.

At the apartment, she sorted through the mail, then started cooking. “Honey, can you set the table for me? Then you can run upstairs and get into bed. I’ll heat up your bottle and be right up.”

“Yes, Momma.”

Mindy tested the formula on her inner wrist before heading upstairs. Olivia was so cute. Six pounds, three ounces, perfect size for holding in the rocker while she ate. Ten little fingers and toes. She sucked at the bottle and her eyes grew heavy.

Olivia’s father was missing too much. They needed the extra income, but sometimes it would be nice if he could share in all this.

She ate her meal alone at the table, while Olivia slept. She caught a vision of the man again, from the corner of her eye. She snapped her head around, but no one was there. She went through the house and tested all the locks before checking on Olivia.

The next morning Mindy yelled up the stairs. “Olivia, you’d better hurry up, or you’ll miss your bus.”

Olivia ran into the kitchen, wearing her cheerleader uniform. She grabbed a breakfast bar from the pantry, and picked up her backpack. “Chill out, Mom. I’ve got time. I won’t be home until after the game. Can you pick me up around nine?”

“Sure, honey. Have a nice day.”

She spent the morning reading, and cleaning. In the afternoon she colored the Easter Eggs, and wrapped all the Christmas Presents. Olivia was going to be so excited. The bicycle she bought for Olivia’s birthday was exactly the one she talked about all summer.

On the way to the gym, she spotted the man again on a street corner. He seemed to be crying and watched her drive by. When she looked back, he was gone.

Olivia looked so pretty, arm and arm with the handsome basketball player. She never protested when Mindy honked the horn, and came straight to the car.

The drive home was uneventful, and the man never appeared again. “I made all your favorites for supper. I waited for you. Get changed and we’ll eat together.”

Mindy sat the table like a gracious hostess and waited nervously for Olivia. When she finally came out, Mindy placed her hands over her heart and teared up. Olivia’s hair had been cut short, her three-piece business suit looked perfectly tailored, the huge diamond on her left hand sparkled under the lights. “Oh, honey, you look so beautiful.”

“Thanks, Mom. You really are the best, but we need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk about that now. We have so much to do tomorrow.”

“I’ll bet it’s all wonderful too, but I’m not supposed to be here. You aren’t supposed to be here either.”

“Oh, nonsense. We have a perfect life together.”

“Life isn’t supposed to be perfect. It has struggles and imperfections. We have to accept some of that and move on. It’s time for you to move on too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.” Olivia reached across the table and took her mother’s hand. “It happens, and none of it’s your fault. You need to forgive yourself and get on with your life. I need to get along too.”

“Aren’t you happy here, Honey?”

“It’s been great. You had so many plans for me, so many hopes and dreams, but none of this is real. A birthday every month, trick or treating every week.”

“But you’re so cute in your little princess outfit.”

“I really would have been, but it never happened. Daddy is worried sick about you. He spends every night in your hospital room, reading to you. Your coma has lasted seven months now. He can’t afford the long term care any longer, and you have to help him out.”

“But you’re my only daughter.”

“I’m your first child. You can have others, and what happened to me isn’t likely to happen again. I know you’re aware of him. I’ve seen him too. Always there in the fringes. He’s so sad.”

“He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself for a little longer.”

“This conversation always comes back to a little longer. He’s there right now. I know you can see him.”

Mindy looked, and the man was there on the edge of her vision. His rumpled suit looked like he’d been wearing it for days.

Like wind-blown leaves, a voice whispered, “Please come back to me, Mindy.”

Mindy’s blood ran cold and she straightened up in her chair.

“I heard him too, Mom. He’s at his wits end, and his financial end. His work is suffering and he could lose his job. You can’t help me, but you can help him. You can help yourself too.”

Mindy’s eyes blinked, and tears flowed. The dining room faded, along with Olivia. A plain white room took form over the elaborate dining table.

The voice of her husband came across loud and clear. “Please, Mindy, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything. I miss you, and I want you back in my life.”

Like a whisper, Olivia’s voice barely came through. “I love you, Mom. Try again, and stay away from those sleeping pills.”

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Filed under Short Stories & Vignettes

Now what?

I got to the writing cabin late today. Old What’s Her Face had to work and the dogs let me sleep in. Since this never happens, I took full advantage.

Lisa Burton sat in the front office drinking a bottle of peroxide.

“Stop! What are you doing? Don’t you know that stuff’s poisonous?”

“Really, after all this time you don’t understand the robot part of robot-girl?”

“Then why?”

“I’ve been out stumping for Quantum Wanderlust. The hosts usually have tea or some kind of special snacks. I eat it to be polite, but my holding tank needs cleaned on occasion.” She stepped from behind her desk wearing yet another new knee length dress; black with white polka dots. She proceeded to cartwheel across the office floor.

I turned away as her dress flipped up. “Stop! Nobody wants to see that.”

“Marilyn Monroe made a statement when her dress blew up.” She placed her hands on her hips. “Would you be more comfortable if I jumped up and down instead?”

“No, I don’t think that would make me comfortable at all.” I wrapped my hand around my beard. “Tell you what. I’m going to my office and you can do whatever you need to do – out here.”

“Fine. I can’t go around smelling like I have halitosis.”

I stomped off to my office and got started. Today was singularly unproductive to be honest. I pulled up my collection of storyboards and all of them need some work. I intend to write another novella next, but want to dive deep into another novel right on its heels. Neither storyboard is ready for prime time.

Storyboarding is my way of outlining. I always write faster with a good outline/storyboard. This means I need some solid daydreaming time. I may have to turn off the radio during my commutes, because that usually attracts the Muse. I have some great ideas, some fun vignettes, even some good characters, but no story yet. At least not ones I’m content with.

I feel bad about it, because I’ve only put out The Enhanced League this year. Enhanced League did great for about two weeks then flatlined. Yak Guy is close to ready, but I want to try something different with it. Here I am facing October, usually my best month of the year, with nothing new to promote. I’m going to push some of the older stuff, and I might come up with something for the baseball playoffs. Maybe I should have started on The Hat sooner and gotten it ready for an October release. Fact is, I didn’t so there’s no use dwelling on it.

My mind is in a weird place too. I got another great review for Panama today, and Quantum Wanderlust is starting to get a few reviews. Sales are kind of dismal though. There are so many free and 99¢ titles available I don’t know what else to try to get readers. It isn’t really about the money, but it would be nice to cover the expenses in putting the books out.

I never actually step away, but this is as close as I’m going to get. I need some time with my thoughts, but those thoughts are going to be about my storyboards so I can keep writing stories. I will try to come up with something that resembles a plot and character arc for the storyboards I have. This may take a few days or it may take a few weeks. No telling.

While that’s going on, I have a list of short stories I could dabble at. It never hurts to have a few of those in the bank, and they could lead to a future Experimental Notebook.

Regrouping for me. Do any of you ever get to this phase? I never see other authors talking about it.

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Filed under Muse, Writing