Tag Archives: Lisa Burton

Cooking Something Up

“Welcome to October at the writing cabin, and I’m here in the kitchen with my robot assistant, Miss Lisa Burton. Today we’re baking up a batch of Macabre Macaroni.

“Now, I’ve already boiled up the pasta and put it in a colander to drain. Lisa, can you pass me the butter to grease our casserole dish?”

“Hang on, I’m still getting my costume on. It takes time to be a fashion plate you know?”

“What seems to be the holdup?”

“I’m trying to get these stitches right. Can you pass me the purple marker? They ought to bruise a bit around the edges.”

“I, um, I can’t find it. Is it one of the ones in your left hand?”

“Oh yeah. I didn’t think I’d used it already. It’s important to look scary for Halloween.”

“Yeah, um. Scary wasn’t my first thought here.”

“Well, I’m not finished yet either. Just go cook your stuff and I’ll join you in a minute.”

***

Lisa Burton

It’s October, and that means Macabre Macaroni. These are my name for bits of micro-fiction with a Halloween theme. I run this every year, and I hope you enjoy them. They’ll post every Tuesday this month. I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks.

Note: I posted Lisa’s poster at full size here. Some people collect them and this is the one to download. I’ll size it down for the weekly stories.

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Talk Like a Pirate Day

I just realized today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I love this, and wondered what I could do about it on my blog. Writing out an entire post in “Pirate” probably isn’t going to impress anyone, so I’ll spare you that.

Truth is, I have a pirate tie in. I’ve finished Voyage of the Lanternfish, but it won’t publish until this winter sometime. Could be 2018, could be 2019, but winter just the same.

I’ve been working on posts for a blog tour to introduce the story to people. I’ve been working on getting my artwork together too. There is a lot that happens to pull off a successful release.

Normally, I just hold stuff back and spring it on people when I’m ready, but this is Talk Like a Pirate day. How could I avoid that? Check out this cover and see if you might want to read my pirate fantasy/adventure tale.

Voyage of the Lanternfish

Meanwhile, Lisa is hanging out with Sean Harrington again. Who knows what they get up to when I’m not around, but I have a hunch they’ll be talking like pirates in some tavern tonight. Lisa sent me this advance picture to let me know she’s actually working and needs to stay on the payroll.

Lisa Burton

I hope they leave the root monsters home tonight. I don’t think I have bail money to spare. Have a great day, mates.

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Filed under Writing

A small update

I sat at my desk and did some blog chores. I scheduled a post for a guest, assembled and scheduled another interview, and responded to an additional inquiry.

I got up and carried my iPad to the paranormal office, turned the skeleton key, and went down three steps onto the cold stone floor. The gargoyle in the corner looked like an old friend. I placed my hat on its head, crossed the pentagram inlayed into the floor, and rolled open the top on Patty Hall’s old desk.

There are already a couple of micro fiction pieces on my disk, so I reviewed those. They aren’t great, but they have the bones of something better. One of them has a bit of a science fiction thing going for it, but that’s okay for Halloween.

Still, they could be better. They could always be better. I needed at least a couple more ideas to pull off Macabre Macaroni this year.

Lisa came in wearing her full pirate regalia. “There you are, matey. I thought you were in your office.”

“This is my office too, technically.”

“True. I just got a text from Lorelei. She’s going to be stopping by.”

“If there were ever a time for the Muse to show up, it’s this weekend. Why are you still wearing your pirate gear?”

“We both know it’s just a matter of time before you decide to start editing. Doubt the raven has been hyperactive lately. He knows it’s coming too.”

“Sometimes I wish Lorelei had given me a different animal. One that means cash and lots of it. Some kind of golden goose or something. Don’t they have those on Olympus?”

Lorelei swung around the doorframe. She wore a blue summer dress, and her brunette hair spread clear to her shoulders. “Are we feeling a little overworked today?”

“Yeah, in some ways. I have lots to do, and I don’t seem to be getting everything accomplished.”

“Is that a new perm?” Lisa asked.

“Yes. You like it?”

I leaned back in my chair so they could get all the girl talk out of their systems. I may have emitted a small sigh.

“Okay, look. I know you have tons of ideas,” Lorelei said. “I’m no slacker in that department. What seems to be the problem?” She moved to the couch and patted the seat beside her.

I sat beside her, but stayed rigid. She leaned into my side. The sandalwood she always wore was intoxicating.

“I don’t have a bunch of great ideas at micro length. I have at least three that will work at novel length, and two that might make good novellas, but need about three that will work for Macabre Macaroni. Then I need to–”

She placed a perfectly manicured finger to my lips. “You’re just out of practice. Take stock for a minute. You’ve done your blog chores. You have a couple of micros, and maybe the raven can help you with them. Something will come to you. It always does.”

“I’m supposed to be reading, editing, and spending some quality time with BookBub too. When am I supposed to do all that?”

“You have four days. Pace yourself and it will all get finished.” She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “It doesn’t matter what you work on. You’re working and things are forging ahead. Now, I’m going to catch up with Lisa and leave you to it.”

I went back to the desk and stared at a blank page for a few seconds, but not before watching her walk away. Then I wrote out a story about a cell phone app that seemed to fit the coming season. To be honest, I like it better than the two I already have. A Muse is a wonderful thing. She doesn’t have to say a word, and the ideas just show up.

I checked my calendar, and I need two more by the middle of October. There really is time for everything. Sometimes I get angry with myself when I think I should have gotten more accomplished.

I’ll earmark some specific time for BookBub after I call my parents tomorrow. That will be my priority. If there is time remaining, I’ll go back over the micros I have and see if I can make them better. Then I may actually open one of those books I’ve been promising to read. Monday will be for whatever’s left. Maybe I can get the next interview settled.

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Let’ try this again

I have to admit last July Fourth was one of the worst days of my adult life. To start off, I ran out this cute Lisa Burton poster. I expected some cool comments, but the afternoon failed in the worst way. It still haunts me to this day.

I want to leave all that behind. No more talking about it, no more dwelling upon it.

We’re going to try it again. Have a great Fourth of July, and be careful with those fireworks.

Lisa Burton

It’s still a cool poster.

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A great day for piracy

Lisa met me at the top of the stairs. She had those knee high boots that turn over at the top, and her Captain Barbosa hat on. “What are we working on today, mate?”

“Well, figured to read my last chapter, then move the story ahead as much as possible.”

“Sounds like a plan, but I need you outside first.”

I followed her across the deck, then out to the field before she turned around. A black skull and crossbones flag flew over the writing cabin. “I love it, where’d you get it.”

“I made it, silly. I have a lot of time to myself out here, and did it for you. The logs on the cabin almost look like an old ship, if you use your imagination.”

“It’s perfect for this story. Guess I’d better get started.”

“Not so fast, matey.” She spun me around to face a line of logs she’d placed vertically in the meadow. Each of them held one block of ice. She handed me a flintlock pistol and stepped back.

“Really, for me?”

“You need to have the experience.”

I cocked the hammer, took careful aim, and missed the target. Sulfurous black smoke drifted across my field of vision.

She traded me for a fresh pistol, and started reloading the one I just fired. “Better hurry, they get smaller out in the sun.”

I repeated my motions, but this time the ice exploded into a million pieces. “Hey! Look at that.”

“Very nice, now the next one.” She handed me the freshly charged pistol. “You have two more coming at you.”

We repeated the exercise until all the ice disappeared. “Thanks for doing this. It helps to remember these aren’t semi automatic pistols that can be fired over and over with ease. Pirates would have to save their shot, or take cover to reload.” I handed the pistol back. “Guess I’d better get started.”

“Not so fast.” She pulled two cutlasses from the grass and tossed one my way. “Defend yourself.”

I blocked her strike and stepped back.

“Come on, you’ll never learn if you don’t try.”

“These things are dangerous.”

“I’m a sophisticated high-tech robot. I’m not going to hurt you.” She thrust at me, and I batted her blade away to the side.

“But I’m not. What if I mess up and hurt you?”

“Please. Class three battle chassis inside. You’d need armor piercing ammo to get through, and more firepower than that sword.”

I picked up my pace and returned the fight. We clashed all across the meadow, up and down the steps on the deck, and out onto the airstrip.

I took a step back and held my blade up with both hands in a halt position.

“What’s wrong now?”

“I’m tired.”

“You’re old and fat. This is where you get run through.”

“Besides, I don’t have a cool hat.”

“The hat has nothing to do with it. It’s all about skill, stamina, and experience.”

“I’d like to experience some iced tea about now.”

“I can make some.”

“And some air conditioning would be nice too.”

“Fine. Wimp.”

“It was fun though. Loved the pistols.”

“Gotta admit, that seems more your style.”

We headed inside and Lisa brought tea to my office. I took a sip, and placed the cold glass to my forehead. “I’m surprised you didn’t have cannons for us to fire.”

“I called Red Herring, but they’re all rented out. Seems like all the authors want cannons this weekend.”

“You didn’t really. Did you?”

“I know you don’t like the guy, but he has all the story elements you ever need. Besides, buying one would give you a stroke. Rental is the only way to go.”

I opened my iPad and started writing. Lisa piped some quiet pirate themed music through the building.

By the time I finished for the day, I’d written nearly five thousand new words. We captured a ship, got disappointed in the treasure. Experienced a monster of the deep, and witnessed what can only be described as carrot abuse.

I introduced one new character called Stuttering Lewis. Lest this sound like character soup, it’s fourteen chapters in, so you get one here and there. I’ll have a few more along the way, but they’re mostly color and background now. I can’t write a book and call them pirate #1 and pirate #2.

We also unfurled a new flag, but I won’t describe it because it’s kind of spoilerish.

It feels like an end to Act One. That arguably could have been an earlier section, but I don’t mind being a little vague on that part. Acts are more like guidelines anyway. (Sounds good for a pirate story.)

I’ve struggled over the last couple of books to hit a decent word count. This one is not going to have that problem. It may be the rare story where I have to cut things to make it digestible for readers.

Hope you’re all enjoying the weekend, or will if you didn’t score friday off. I still need to work up some interview pieces, but it’s hard not to keep sailing this ship forward.

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Filed under Muse

It’s a Milestone

I was brought up to keep quiet about accomplishments. I’ve done that all my life, but it’s kind of counter-productive to all the promotion that comes with being an author.

We all work hard, and it seems like progress is slow. It is there, and it’s harder to observe, but it happens. I’ll walk you into my announcement.

Today was largely dedicated to Lisa Burton Radio. In fact, I accomplished nothing else. I assembled and scheduled two interviews. At one per week, I’m keeping ahead of the game. This is because I know what it feels like to fall behind.

I also sent another shtick out, with one more to go out tomorrow. This is the mid-point of the process. This is how I keep the line moving.

Somewhere along the way I spotted a number in my editor. Remember, this is WordPress we’re talking about here, so there is a bit of uncertainty. The number was 100. From what I can tell, there have been one-hundred episodes of Lisa Burton Radio.

I know it’s possible the number refers to one of the episodes I have scheduled, but that poses the question: When is it appropriate to celebrate?

I choose now.

Lisa Burton

I’ve worked hard to make these interviews into a going concern. The kind of place someone might seek out when promoting their fiction. I kind of feel like I’ve accomplished that.

This isn’t discounting the partnership with all of you. You folks have been wonderful to participate, to use the sharing buttons, and to actually buy the books being showcased. Thank you for all of that, and Lisa thanks you too.

I’ve gotten to work with some amazing authors, and I’ve learned a lot from you.

Thanks also to Sean Harrington, who revamped this image for me on very short notice. He’s been a godsend to me, and I look forward to many more years of working with him.

I’m not going to slack off, but for one night, maybe it’s time to have a glass of whiskey and take some small pleasure in one of the little things. Here’s to the next 100.

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Filed under Blogging, Lisa Burton Radio, Writing

Technological Angel, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Welcome all you sci-fi geeks, aliens, and starship troopers. You’ve landed on Planet Lisa. Lisa Burton Radio to be exact, and I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl.

With me today is my special guest, Daniele Sommaruga. He’s just a regular guy who got caught up in something bigger. “Welcome to the show Daniele.”

“Hello there! Nice meeting you! You know we had a song called “Lisa” on Earth a few months before I left? It said “Lisa is gone/she’s no longer mine”… Sorry, getting carried away.”

“Aw, aren’t you sweet. It says here you’re living on a star base called Friport. How did a regular dude like you wind up on a star base.”

“It’s a starship as big as Earth’s Moon! It looks like the Death Star! Okay, to start from scratch, it was a dark night and I thought I saw a panther in my street. I lived in Rome, it was 1982 and an urban legend said there was a panther roaming… it was an alien shapeshifter instead! His name is Gaurishankar, he’s human – I mean, a Humanoid, since there are other races out there – but he has been tinkered with by a crazy scientist who introduced a mutation in his blood and he turns into a panther. Gaurishankar was chasing a bounty, some other alien Humanoid living incognito in my street. I told him I wanted to go with him. And he shifted to panther form under my eyes! I considered running away, but it was the opportunity of a lifetime…”

“Seems kind of like a trusting move to just go along?”

“Are you kidding? I’m a sci-fi nerd, I had to go with him! I could visit space, I felt like Luke Skywalker or Captain Kirk in a new adventure! Okay, I’ll admit I didn’t really think about the consequences. I just had to tag along, see new things, expand my mind, meet real, non-human aliens…”

“I certainly appreciate the spirit of adventure. What’s life like on Friport?”

“It’s strange. It’s an artificial world, it doesn’t have a real sky, but there’s the illusion of it. It has a 24 hours cycle, and the locals are very pale for lack of sunshine. There are a lot of Humanoid adventurers, but also some Felines, some Reptilians and the half-bloods. Soon after our arrival, we met mysterious Kol-ian, who also brought an Earthling named Chantal and has retractile bat-like wings, and Maela, a cyborg amazon of some kind who even has a daughter who looks just like her. Now we’ve all teamed up to restore a ship and then we’re going to find work – illegal work, mind you. Maela, the cyborg, ran away from her home planet because she didn’t want to send her daughter to the Girls’ House as is customary and her government owns her because it paid for her prosthetic, so she must live outside of the law now. She was maimed during the war with the Reptilians and had her left side remade in silver – well, it’s probably some other metal alloy.”

“Maela sounds pretty interesting. I appreciate that you’re willing to get involved with a cyborg. I see far too much prejudice here being a robot. It’s nice to know that everyone gets along.”

“Are you kidding? Maela is… è proprio bbona! With her silver hand she’s the most beautiful blonde I have ever seen! I’d give her one, but she’s kind of uptight and would probably punch me with her silver hand… so I’ll just stay away from her. We’re a small team and we get along fine, but Chantal is really obsessed with Kol-ian, so sometimes we bicker. I mean, we’re the only two Earthlings out here, we should be more united, right? But no-o, she’s obsessed with that winged hunk! Okay, he’s gorgeous, but still…. I don’t know, he feels too perfect! Perfect but icy, you know? He’s so cold and mysterious and… Gari – I mean Gaurishankar – is a mutant but sometimes he is more human than Kol-ian.”

“I suppose nothing is ever perfect. What do you intend to do with your new ship?”

“Well, we’re going to look for work. Mercenaries, killers, bounty hunters… what Gaurishankar did when I first met him. He’s going to be our connection to the underworld, since he has already been working here for a year. Maela is a soldier, so she can bring her expertise. And Kol-ian is a hacker, I mean he can do things with that computer of his… I’ve never seen anyone having so much access! I’m not an expert, mind you, but even Gari is impressed. So we’ll have to kill people or maybe protect them and hopefully say off the radar with the Galaxy Police who apparently are unable to come to Friport but surely will try to stop us. Our company is called Three because the actual members are Kol-ian, Gari and Maela, since for the galaxy out there Chantal and I don’t exist. We come from a low tech planet and don’t know much of what’s out there, but I’m sure we’ll have a wondrous adventure!”

“Daniele, I wish you all the luck… well, in the galaxy I suppose. Any last thought for our listeners today?”

“I don’t know where you are, Lisa, but if you transmit to Earth, please let them know we’re okay and we’re keeping the planet’s name as high as we can! And thank you for having me!”

“If you’d like to learn more about Daniele, Kol-Ian, Maela, and more, pick up the book Technological Angel, by Barbara Tarn. It’s the first book in the Star Minds Trilogy. I’ll include all the important data on the website.

“Now would be a good time to use those sharing buttons. I know Daniele and Barbara would do it for you, when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.

“For Lisa burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton. So, infinity and beyond and all that jazz.”

***

BLURB

“Technological Angel” (book 1)

Heartbreak is an eye-opener.

When Kol-ian is rejected by his beloved “angel”, he finds refuge on low-tech Earth. Until he feels the need to get back into the galaxy loop to explore the rogues’ world.

Cyborgs, shape-shifters, merciless telepaths and two earthlings lost in the Milky Way, learning to deal with aliens long before the rest of the blue planet.

Universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/49nP8b

Mind Link (book 2) universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/3RJ1n3

Slave Traders (book 3) universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/m2lv1b

The Trilogy ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/3n7j9m and paperback on Amazon, Barnes&Noble and other retailers.

Star Minds the series http://www.unicornproductionsbooks.com/star-minds-2/

 

Barbara G.Tarn

Barbara G.Tarn had an intense life in the Middle Ages that stuck to her through the centuries. She prefers swords to guns, long gowns to mini-skirts, and even though she buried the warrior woman, she deplores the death of knights in shining chainmail. She likes to think her condo apartment is a medieval castle, unfortunately lacking a dungeon to throw noisy neighbors and naughty colleagues in. Also known as the Lady with the Unicorns, these days she prefers to add a touch of fantasy to all her stories, past and present – when she’s not wandering on her fantasy world of Silvery Earth or in her Star Minds futuristic universe. She dabbles into historical fantasy with her Vampires Through the Centuries series and is attempting some real sci-fi with post-apocalypse and future Earth stories.

She’s a writer, sometimes artist, mostly a world-creator and story-teller. Two of her stories received an Honorable Mention at the Writers of the Future contest. She writes, draws, ignores her day job and blogs at: http://creativebarbwire.wordpress.com.

Check her Vimeo channel for book trailers and other funny stuff.

Find her books www.unicornproductionsbooks.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/BarbaraGTarn

Author Central https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0050P0R2G

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4717133.Barbara_G_Tarn

Instafreebie https://www.instafreebie.com/author/BarbaraGTarn“Technological Angel” (book 1)
Heartbreak is an eye-opener.
When Kol-ian is rejected by his beloved “angel”, he finds refuge on low-tech Earth. Until he feels the need to get back into the galaxy loop to explore the rogues’ world.
Cyborgs, shape-shifters, merciless telepaths and two earthlings lost in the Milky Way, learning to deal with aliens long before the rest of the blue planet.

Universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/49nP8b

Mind Link (book 2) universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/3RJ1n3

Slave Traders (book 3) universal ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/m2lv1b

The Trilogy ebook links https://www.books2read.com/u/3n7j9m and paperback on Amazon, Barnes&Noble and other retailers.

Star Minds the series http://www.unicornproductionsbooks.com/star-minds-2/

Barbara G.Tarn

Barbara G.Tarn had an intense life in the Middle Ages that stuck to her through the centuries. She prefers swords to guns, long gowns to mini-skirts, and even though she buried the warrior woman, she deplores the death of knights in shining chainmail. She likes to think her condo apartment is a medieval castle, unfortunately lacking a dungeon to throw noisy neighbors and naughty colleagues in. Also known as the Lady with the Unicorns, these days she prefers to add a touch of fantasy to all her stories, past and present – when she’s not wandering on her fantasy world of Silvery Earth or in her Star Minds futuristic universe. She dabbles into historical fantasy with her Vampires Through the Centuries series and is attempting some real sci-fi with post-apocalypse and future Earth stories.

She’s a writer, sometimes artist, mostly a world-creator and story-teller. Two of her stories received an Honorable Mention at the Writers of the Future contest. She writes, draws, ignores her day job and blogs at: http://creativebarbwire.wordpress.com.

Check her Vimeo channel for book trailers and other funny stuff.

Find her books www.unicornproductionsbooks.com

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/BarbaraGTarn

Author Central https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0050P0R2G

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4717133.Barbara_G_Tarn

Instafreebie https://www.instafreebie.com/author/BarbaraGTarn

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Filed under Lisa Burton Radio