Category Archives: Lisa Burton Radio

Lisa Burton Radio

The Fall of Lilith, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Don’t touch that dial. You’ve found Lisa Burton Radio, the only show that brings you the characters from the books you love. Today my very special guest is an honest to God angel, or former angel, I don’t know how that all works, but we’re going to find out. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl. “Welcome to the show, Lilith.”

“Greetings.”

“Lilith, my bio says you have a problem. There are rules in place that an angel must follow in order to stay in heaven. You disagree with those rules. Can you explain to our listeners what those rules are?”

“I reside in the lowest level of Heaven called Floraison. There are many laws for my kind but the two greatest pledges an angel makes are obedience and celibacy, which make for a boring existence.”

“I think celibacy is easy enough to understand, but obedience is a bit trickier. That all boils down to what God orders you to do. Give us an idea why obedience might be a problem.”

“God gave us free will, you would not know anything about that since you are not a real being, but I take this to mean that we have choices. We can interpret the laws how we see fit and my interpretation is most different from Michael’s view of things, which is why we have not been getting along as of late.”

“I’m not completely clear on the problem.”

“Of course not. How could you understand? You are merely a machine made by humans to serve humans. You do not know what it is like to have feelings.”

“Well I’m people sister, and I have no prime directives. How can you claim to be people when you have that whole immortality thing going on? Pot meets kettle here if you ask me.”

“I did not ask you. I am a celestial being created to have feelings and I have more than most, although I hide them well. Besides, I would wager more of you resides on various servers and in the cloud than in that custom chassis of yours. You may linger a while until the humans create a newer version and then you shall be tossed away like an old toy.”

“My bio says you’re a great manipulator, so I’m not going to let you manipulate me. Is it true that you ruined the reputations of otherwise stellar angels and got them disciplined too?”

“I was endowed with intelligence and natural psychology. I do not manipulate anyone. I merely assist others in doing what they desired all along. My allies Lucifer, Gadreel, Beelzebub, Samael, Dagon and many others were of the same mind as I but were afraid to act on their heart’s desires. I helped them let go their fears and go after what they wanted. Except Michael, he is my biggest disappointment.”

“Wait, Michael? The actual archangel Michael? Does he actually dance like John Travolta?”

“Yes. He is an extraordinary being. There’s little he cannot do. He may even be able to win your mechanical heart––if that is even possible. I think you would be perfect for him. He does like strawberry-blondes, you know.”

“Wait a minute here… Michael likes strawberry-blondes. I’m a strawberry-blonde. But Michael is the ultimate rule follower. Michael is celibate, because he’s a rule follower. You’re still trying to manipulate me.”

“Ha, You actually thought for a moment that you would be worthy of such a being? You are little more than a doll.”

“You bitch! Just remember, the book is called The Fall of Lilith. Fall, get it. It isn’t called the Ascension of Lilith. You’re going to get yours, and I for one will enjoy it. Any closing comments for my listeners today?”

“Even those who fall can rise again. I shall control my own destiny and that writer––Vashti–– shall not dictate what happens to me. The surprises, twists and controversy in The Fall of Lilith will make even your plastic head spin. I am in control here!”

“The book is called The Fall of Lilith, by Vashti Quiroz-Vega. I urge everyone to pick up a copy so the whole world can see what happens. In fact, tell your friends by using those sharing buttons on the blog.

“I’ll also include a purchase link so everyone can easily pick up a copy. Let’s expose this fallen-angel for what she really is.”

***

“I merely assisted you in doing what you desired all along.”

So says Lilith, the most exquisite of the angels. The two most important pledges an angel makes to God are those of obedience and celibacy, and dire consequences await any who break their oaths.

At first, the angels are happy in their celestial home, learning and exploring together. As they grow older, though, Lilith begins to question these pledges, which now seem arbitrary and stifling. Her challenge of the status quo leads to disagreement, jealousy, and strife among her peers. As the arguing and acrimony grow, lines are drawn and sides are chosen. Is war inevitable?

Filled with robust characters, incredible landscapes, and exciting action, The Fall of Lilith is an epic tale of seduction, betrayal, and revenge.

Free Will involves asking difficult questions and making hard choices, choices that require strength and sacrifice. These decisions can tear apart friendships and cause rifts between allies.

They can even threaten the foundations of Heaven.

Purchase your copy today.

Hello! My name is Vashti Quiroz-Vega. I’m a writer of Suspense, Thriller, Fantasy and Horror. I also enjoy mixing in some Humor and Romance into my stories.

From the time I was a young kid, writing has been my passion. I’ve always been a writer I just didn’t know it until much later. For me, it is easier to express my thoughts on paper than with the spoken word. I enjoy making people feel an array of emotions with my writing. I like my audience to laugh one moment, cry the next and clench their jaws after that.

My love of animals and nature are often incorporated in my stories. You’ll read intriguing things about various animals, nature and natural disasters commingled in my character driven novels.

I love to read almost as much as I love to write. Some of my favorite authors are Stephen King, M. Night Shyamalan, Michael Crichton, Anne Rice, J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling and Dan Brown.

You can follow Vashti at the following locations:

Blog: http://vashtiqvega.wordpress.com

Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1g0da7d

Twitter: http://twitter.com/VashtiQV

Google+: https://plus.google.com/+VashtiQVega

Tumblr: http://vashtiq.tumblr.com

Amazon Profile: https://www.amazon.com/Vashti-Quiroz-Vega/e/B00GTXG5W4/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

These graphics represent scenes from The Fall of Lilith

Quick edit. Couldn’t help myself, Lisa:

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Foul is Fair, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Coming at you with one point twenty-one jigawatts of power, this is Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and with me in the studio is Ashling, a pixie from An Teach Deiridh. “Welcome to the show, Ashling.”

“Thank you for having me and for accommodating my service crow. Say hello, Count.”

‘Caw.’

“I find it odd that you’re from a fairy castle, but choose to spend the bulk of your time in Seattle. What’s so cool about Seattle?”

“Well, for one thing, there’s the Fremont Troll, and I totally know the guy who was the model for that, true story. Then there’s the football, and the fact that I first met the Count in Olympic National Park, not long before my wings got hurt, but really, one goes where the job leads. So really the main quality of Seattle most related to my spending so much time there these past couple decades is the local music scene and, specifically, a certain beautiful redheaded bass player in the late ‘90s. She and my employer, well, the relationship didn’t really end all that well, but it was fun while it lasted, apparently, and they got Megan out of it. Good kid, Megan. Likes art. Her father never really made it back to Seattle once he left, so she’s kinda been my super top secret charge.”

“Wait a minute. You have a job in Seattle? You mentioned your employer and your charge. Can you tell our listeners a little about that arrangement?”

“You ever try to keep a secret in the Faerie castle of An Teach Deiridh? It is not easy. Not even when the secret’s over in the mortal realm. And it’s not like the mortal realm is super safe anyway. Consider the odds that now that they’ve figured out cockroach mind-control, jewel wasps are clearly planning their next steps in world domination.

“So here I’ve been, flitting back and forth, trying to keep Megan safe and secret. And this is working in an environment where 90% of people look at a pixie and only see a butterfly. Very good for keeping a low profile, although as usual, my disability makes it a little complicated, because even your average human might blink a little at seeing a butterfly perch on the back of a crow to fly. But as usual, we make it work.”

“Now back to Megan, you called her your charge. Who gave you this mission?”

“That would be my employer, the Unseelie King. And the whole mission’s been disrupted ever since he’s gone missing. Ambushed. The kidnapping’s also led to the secret getting out somehow about Megan. Kinda couldn’t wait anymore to start talking to her about her heritage. Barely solved the medication issue – did you know that overdosing on too much ADHD medication can interfere with focusing one’s magical heritage? Little-known fact. I knew, of course. It’s my job to know these things. But anyway, barely dealt with getting her medication back to normal when she’s attacked by a redcap. In broad daylight. In Seattle. That’s An Teach Deiridh politics for you. Seelie, Unseelie—nearly everyone’s working an angle and a weapon. And we’ve got to get the king back. We especially need to get him back by Halloween, when it all gets even more complicated, and Megan’s so new at this, she literally had to ask if her dad was ‘80s David Bowie… I’m telling you, Lisa, my plate is pretty full at the moment … Count, when did I last eat?”

‘Caw’

Of course that counts as a meal. ‘Pixie’ was right there in the name, so it must be good for me…”

“Stay with me here Ashling, don’t crash just yet. Have some M & Ms, lots of sugar there. So the drama over at An Teach Deiridh is getting in the way of your mission with Megan? Who’s left defending the palace?”

“Oh, plenty of people say they’re defending An Teach Deiridh. Sidhe, bane sidhe, trolls, redcaps, pixies, sprites. Of course, even though the castle is primarily associated with Irish and British faeries, we’ve actually got Fairy Folk from origin-cultures around the world. Scandinavia, for instance, or Greece. We’re very cosmopolitan.

“Megan’s BFF is one of the menehune, the Hawaiian engineering faeries, and let me tell you, it’s nice to have it clear a few people are definitely on your side in all this politics. She’s also got an in on some arrangements to keep an eye on Megan’s mother through all this mess. I can’t do everything myself.”

“So what has to happen to get the king back home and set everything back to normal?”

“Well, word is, there’s an artifact that may help get him out of the mess. The Claiomh Solais, the Sword of Light. Thing is, nobody just hands you the Sword of Light. It’s always on the other side of a quest. Very quest-oriented, that sword. Some of the An Teach Deiridh politicians tried sending someone else, and that guy never made it back, so it’s going to be the new princess. And Megan’s just a kid. She’s managing to learn a little bit of bardic magic—you know, where you do the spell with music—due to my fabulous on-the-road explanations, but she certainly can’t handle this all alone.”

“Oh come on. We all know who’s going to take up the quest. Load your backpack with M & Ms and Pixie Stix and get on with it. What kind of risks will you face?”

“You ever hear of the Wild Hunt? The deadly annual Faerie sporting event? Well, in their down time, some of those things are going to be in our way. And so will unfordable rivers with occasionally migratory whirlpools, and that’s before we get to the lost city of Findias –“

‘Caw

“I don’t want to talk about that part, Count. I wouldn’t want you to get all emotional. And anyway, Lisa, this is all on a time crunch. If the king isn’t back by the ritual deadline, it will throw off the entire mystic balance of the seasons that will slowly destroy nearly all the art and music in the world. I think that’s giving poor Megan a bit of pressure. Luckily, I’m there to keep a level head. Quiet, stoical support; I’m very good at that.”

“Ashling, I wish you and Megan the best of luck. The obstacles are formidable, but I have faith in you. Any last ideas you want to leave with our listeners?”

“We’re almost done already? But I have so much I need to tell your listeners about. I mean, I bet they’d like to know where faeries come from. And why Count is named Count. And what everything has to do with the price of tea in China. And why dragons hate bridges. I’m full of useful knowledge. That’s why the King keeps me around, and entrusts me with keeping an eye on his daughter.

“Okay, fine. Last ideas. Everyone should have a crow for a best friend. Oh, and brownies make the best cookies. If a brownie ever offers to make cookies, YES is the only correct answer.

“Any last thoughts, Count?”

‘Caw’

“Well yes, Count. I think that goes without saying. Thanks for having us on the show, Lisa.”

“Listeners can find out what happens with Ashling and Megan in the book Foul is Fair. I’ll put all of the purchase links on the website.

“Don’t forget to use those sharing links on the way out. I’m sure Ashling would appreciate it, and she’d do the same for you when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

Lots of girls play Fairy Princess when they’re little. Megan O’Reilly had no idea the real thing was like playing chess, guitar, and hockey all at once. Megan had known for a long time that she wasn’t an entirely typical girl. But living with ADHD—and her mother’s obsessions—was a very different thing from finding out she wasn’t entirely human. Somewhere out there, in a completely different world, her father needs help. There’s a conflict, revolving around Faerie seasonal rituals, that could have consequences for humanity—and if Megan’s getting the terminology straight, it sounds like her family aren’t even supposed to be the good guys. As she’s further and further swept up in trying to save her father, Megan may be getting too good at not being human.

 

Purchase your copy here.

 

 

Jeffrey Cook lives in Maple Valley, Washington, with his wife and three large dogs. He was born in Boulder, Colorado, but has lived all over the United States. He’s the author of the Dawn of Steam trilogy of alternate-history/emergent Steampunk epistolary novels and the YA contemporary fantasy series the Fair Folk Chronicles. He’s a founding contributing author of Writerpunk Press and affiliate of the Clockwork Dragon author’s conglomerate. When not reading, researching, or writing, Jeffrey enjoys role-playing games and watching football. Katherine Perkins lives in Ontario, Ohio, with her husband and one extremely skittish cat. She was born in Lafayette, Louisiana, and will defend its cuisine on any field of honor. She is the series editor of the Dawn of Steam series and co-author of both the Fair Folk Chronicles and various short stories, including those for the charity anthologies of Writerpunk Press. When not reading, researching, writing, or editing, she tries to remember what she was supposed to be doing.

Connect with Jeffrey and Katherine at the following places:

authorjeffreycook.com

clockworkdragon.net

facebook.com/dawnofsteamtrilogy

twitter.com/jeffreycook74

 

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Frankie the Fish, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Hello all you watersprites and merfolk, you selkies and Aquarians. You've found this week's edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and I have a very special guest with me today, please welcome Frankie the Fishtastic.

“Thank you, Lisa Burton. I am pleased that you have acknowledged my fish-tasticness. This will be a great interview. I also welcome my fellow creatures of the deep as well as those who live on land.”


“My bio says you are the supervisor of the Chameleon family. Do most families have a supervisor where you live?”


“Most families in New Town do not require a supervisor. It was not my intention to watch over the doings of the Chameleon family, but they are so in need. I help them out in this capacity with the understanding that they will never truly understand my gift to them.”


“And where do you stay? Do you live at the Chameleon household, or do you have an office somewhere?”


“I have several homes. My primary home is a 10 gallon aquarium, tastefully decorated by me. I have a cave, my sword, and a mermaid or two that keep me company. I also have a fishbowl which is used when I eat with the Chameleon family in the first floor kitchen. You see, I sometimes supervise cooking. I also have a portable home in Charlie’s backpack. I go with to help him keep out of trouble, although I don’t think he appreciates all I do for him.”


“So you're, um, actually a fish then?”


“Well of course! Why else would I live in water? Really, Lisa Burton, that was not logical.”


“Well, the show must go on. What kind of activities do you supervise?”


“Recently, bullying. Charlie decided that he wanted to invite friends over to make cookies. I told him that cookies would be a fish-tastic idea but he should remember not to put onions it them, yuck. But that’s a story for another day.


“When he said he was having Boris Bunny over, I got really worried and told him that wasn’t a good idea. Boris has issues. He can be a bully. Once he had the nerve to try and squish me. Fish don’t like hugs! Then Charlie was thinking about inviting Gary Gecko, too. The Bunny and the Gecko don’t get along.


“Charlie was asking for trouble.”


“And did Charlie take your advice, or did he find his own path?”


“Triton, no. He invited them both over without letting each other know. Can you believe it? He did promise to keep Boris away from me and also that he would not put onions in the cookies. Thank goodness for that. Even the birds wouldn’t eat the leftovers.”


“Sounds like Charlie is lucky to have you, even if it's a tough love situation.”


“Indeed. Charlie is one lucky Chameleon.”


“My author, that Ellen woman, delivered a passable product. I suggested to her subconsciously to rewrite it to include some activities the readers can complete at the end of each chapter. Can you believe she thinks they are all her ideas?”


“That sounds like fun, and gets the readers involved too. She sounds like a very creative author to me.”


“Ellen is a serviceable employee. She needs to leave the mermaids alone though. She’s given me a love-fear relationship with them that I find very confusing.”


“And on that note, Frankie, do you have any closing comments for our listeners today?”


“Gentle listeners, and not so gentle ones, I am so pleased that you showed good taste and listened in to my interview. You can learn more about my adventures, and Charlie’s too in The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon series. The author really should have titled the series after me, but what can I say. There is only so much one fish can do, no matter how awesome.


“I had a fish-tastic time, Lisa Burton. If you ever find a way to shift yourself along the grid to one of the eBooks, I’d be happy to entertain you in my world. I doubt Charlie would mind.”


“You can read more about Charlie Chameleon and Frankie's supervision skills in the book, The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon: School Days, by Ellen L. Buikema. I'm sure you'll find her more than a serviceable author.


“Don't forget to use those sharing buttons today, I'm sure Ellen would appreciate it, and Frankie would demand it. Then they'll do it for you, when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”


***

The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon: School Days

Charlie Chameleon and his friends are having trouble with Boris Bunny, the class bully. Charlie thinks Boris is putting on an act, but his friends disagree. Follow Charlie’s adventures as he helps Boris learn how to be a friend.

Charlie's School Days – book trailer

Purchase Link

Now you can ask Frankie A Question

Read the answers here

About the Author:

Ellen Buikema is a parent, writer, speaker and educator. She received a M.Ed. specializing in Early Childhood from the University of Illinois in Chicago and has extensive post-graduate work in special education from Northeastern Illinois University. She writes adult nonfiction and fiction for children, sprinkling humor everywhere possible. Ellen is the author of The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon series and Parenting . . . A Work in Progress. She has begun research for a Young Adult historical fiction.

Social Media Contacts:

Website

Twitter

Facebook

YouTube

Pinterest

LinkedIn

Google+

Amazon Author Page

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Buster and Moo, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Welcome to this week’s edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and with me in the studio today is a beautiful Jack Russel, Stafforshire cross known alternately as Buster and Moo. “Welcome to the show, and how would you like me to refer to you?”

“Is it okay to lick you, Lisa? I kind of have this thing about holding out my paw all the time and shaking it. Then if you don’t give me a treat I’m probably going to slobber into the microphone. What was the question? Oh, my name. Currently Moo.”

“How did you come to have two different names? Is one an alias of some kind?”

“Ha! Two names? I’ve had, let me see? Six? Maybe seven. There was the one my mother gave me, the one the guy who brought my dad to meet mum that time – she said he smelt of cardboard. Then… sorry, I do get distracted. The people who I was looking after last, before my latest move, called me Buster after the shape of my head being like some film character they liked. That was Sheri. Lovely b… oh sorry, nearly used the ‘b’ word. Female. She’s the only one who I understand, you know? Makes it clear what she wants and when she wants it. Tough, no messing about but clear. Not like her dog, sorry bloke, Dave. Right old temper he has. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a wrestle and a bit of tug of war but how am I meant to know when to stop if he doesn’t say? One minute it’s ‘go on boy, pull’ and then next he’s shouting and throwing me about. Means well but going away, prison, that didn’t help. Made him jealous too, you know? He eats this stuff she doesn’t like. Like icing sugar, up his snout. Weird and makes him all fizzing. They were getting to be a bit of trial, you know so when they said they had to move kennels and I couldn’t stay I wasn’t completely against the idea. I’ll miss them but not so much Dave, not until he calms down, yeah? Then I had to go to this place with cages and noise and it was hell.”

“That’s terrible, and it must be confusing for you. I hope you found some good pet parents to love you.”

“Pet parents? Yeah, I suppose that’s what they think but, Lisa, you have to understand that it’s my job to look after humans. They are just so away with the faeries, never focusing on the important stuff: food, walks, ear fondles, licks, tummy rubs and… did I mention food? Anyway, I was in this internment camp for a week when Landen and Mervin appeared. You could smell their problems a way off. To begin with Landen had a whiff of the Dave’s, you know what I mean? And Mervin was this gangly dreamer who never really says what he’s smelling. Mind you they have a great kennel with its own private park and loads of food – a bit dodge some of it, made me a touch gastric for a while until I sorted out what pate was – and their place is always warm. I knew straight away I had to work on Mervin – I mean you couldn’t feel his ribs, okay? Padded. She was off all the time, something funny to her smells. But walking Mervin was trial. I’d set off, you know, trying to get him to move, if we were ever going to shift his belly, and he’d be moaning at me to slow down but he was the one saying he needed the exercise. As I said, inconsistent, they weren’t like Sheri. I didn’t know what they wanted, really.”

“Wasn’t it better than with Sheri and Dave? Having someone home with you, and you get lots of nice walks, it’s warm, and good food.”

“Yes, but look then there was that thing, that meeting, Caused a lot of problems.”

“How?”

“He likes this park, with this big lake in it. Me too. There’s a café nearby we go to after and share a cake. I think he thinks it’s healthy if he gives me half and I ain’t complaining.. Sorry, drifting again. That’s when we met Sheri.”

“The Sheri who you lived with?”

“Exactly. She cleans in this posh house, on the edge of the park, not that I knew. One day Mervin’s sitting on a bench and I catch her scent. I’d know her from a mile a way. I know these humans get all possessive and worked up about kiddies and roads and all that but this was park, just grass and some gravel between me and her so I set off to say hello. It would be rude not to. I got under this gate and gave her the biggest kiss. Then she met Mervin, when he wanted me back and there was a fuss about the key to the gate and they had a cigarette, not that Mervin smelt of cigs before then and that caused problems with Landen. Mervin fancied Sheri, right off.”

“How do you know that, Moo? No, please don’t lick me.”

“We dogs can smell 240 times as many things as humans so smelling when someone wants a bit of rumpty isn’t hard. She smelt of bathrooms and he smelt of bedrooms. Ha. Joke, yeah?”

“You said it caused a problem? Did Mervin make a pass at her?”

“Make a pass? Goodness, do you read Mills and Boon? No, see Sheri got me to sit, as I would cos she’s like that and he asked for lessons, said he’d pay. She needs the money, right, given Dave found it hard to work being out of prison. So we had lessons, but she knew Dave wouldn’t understand, her with a strange bloke, being the jel sort. And he told Landen he was getting lessons for me but not who with nor that he fancied her, mainly because he wasn’t getting any at home because she was smelling of another dog, sorry bloke. Not that he knew cos he couldn’t smell it like I could.”

“What else can you smell?”

“That stuff Dave sticks up his schnozzle, yeah? Sheri taught me to tell her when I smelt that and other things Sheri didn’t like him using. Landen likes a bit of that, you know?”

“Did you say she was a lawyer? Maybe she had a client who used these naughty things?”

“Really Lisa? How often do you get out? I mean there’s the benefit of the doubt and all, but come on.”

“But wouldn’t Mervin know, if she was using?”

“He wasn’t the sort to notice, frankly, that’s why I had to look after him. That and stopping him getting into trouble with Sheri. You only had to look at his puppy face when he saw her to know what was going on in his head. Poor thing. It all got a bit complicated you see. When Dave found out about Mervin and Landen found out about Dave. Mervin did these leaflet things for Dave – he mended stuff – though Sheri didn’t tell Dave where she got them and Landen found one and called Dave who came round. Of course, I was only being polite when I jumped up at him and he threw me around but I could tell immediately they were both angry at their partners. Landen got all moody and started staying home, something about her job which Mervin didn’t believe. And then I stayed with Sheri for a bit – and Dave was in a right state. I thought I’d be back in that awful place with bars soon as they all started fighting with each other. Dave moved out and Landen had this amazing news, but Mervin wasn’t sure about it…”

“News?”

“They kept saying they mustn’t say so I won’t but it sort of changed everything. And then the police turned up, because of something she’d done, or not done, at work and she wouldn’t tell him and he got upset…”

“Oh my gosh, you poor baby. What are you going to do?”

“What I’m bred for, Lisa. To look after them and keep them together. It may take me the whole book but I will do my very best. “

“Let me give you a big old hug, and see if there are any treats left from Craig’s canine characters. Before we walk over to the cabin, do you have any closing thoughts for our listeners?”

“They’re like all humans, Lisa, just a bundle of complications which if they’d only lick each other a bit more and listen better then things wouldn’t have gotten to be so bad. They’re good people who make things difficult. But they can rely on me. Time for a lick?”

“You can read all about Moo’s conundrum in the book, Buster and Moo, by Geoff Le Pard. I’ll include all the pertinents on the website. For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.

“Come on, Moo, let’s go find you a cookie.

“Oh, before I forget, please use the sharing buttons today to spread the word about Buster and Moo. I’m sure Geoff would appreciate it, and Moo would do it for your character when you’re on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

Buster & Moo – Blurb

 

 

With their relationship under pressure, is adopting a dog the best decision for Mervin and Landen? As they adapt to fit the animal into their busy lives a chance encounter with Dave and Sheri, the dog’s previous owners, develops into something more and the newfound friendship is tested to the limits.

 

Life is complicated when Landen loses her job following the discovery of her affair with a colleague and then she becomes involved in a police investigation into alleged money laundering and drug dealing at her old firm. She tries desperately to keep the sordid truth from Mervin as events begin to spiral out of control.

 

As the four lives overlap and criss-cross the one constant is their shared love of the dog named Moo. But the problems mount up. While Sheri and Mervin grow close as they struggle to help each other, it is the unlikely alliance between Sheri and Landen that leads to the dramatic climax. However, there is only room for one hero in this story – who will it be?

Smashwords Amazon.co.uk Amazon.com

***

Geoff Le Pard started writing to entertain in 2006. He hasn’t left his keyboard since. When he’s not churning out novels he writes some maudlin self-indulgent poetry, short fiction and blogs at geofflepard.com. He walks the dog for mutual inspiration and most of his best ideas come out of these strolls. He also cooks with passion if not precision.

Dead Flies and Sherry Trifle is a coming of age story. Set in 1976 the hero Harry Spittle is home from university for the holidays. He has three goals: to keep away from his family, earn money and hopefully have sex. Inevitably his summer turns out to be very different to that anticipated.

Smashwords

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

 

This 30 story anthology covers many genres: fantasy, romance, humour, thriller, espionage, conspiracy theories, MG and indeed something for everyone. All the stories were written during Nano 2015

Smashwords

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

 

 

 

My Father and Other Liars is a thriller set in the near future and takes its heroes, Maurice and Lori-Ann on a helter-skelter chase across continents.

Smashwords

 

Amazon.co.uk

 

Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

Salisbury Square is a dark thriller set in present day London where a homeless woman and a Polish man, escaping the police at home, form an unlikely alliance to save themselves.

This is available here

Smashwords

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.com

 

 

 

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Requiem for the Status Quo, on #LisaBurton Radio

“Hello, caller. You’re on the air with Lisa Burton. What can we do for you today?”

“I don’t think I’ve met you, Lisa, this is Patrick Quinn, can you please put my daughter, Colleen, on the phone?”

“Sorry, Patrick I think you’ve got the wrong number. I’m actually a radio talk-show host, Lisa the robot girl.”

“Robot girl? What can I do for you?”

“Well, Patrick, you called me and I’m glad you did. Now that we’re on the air, what would you like to talk about?”

“If I had my druthers, I’d like to talk about and to Connie. She’s my wife. She died a few years ago. Let me tell you about her … did you say your name is Laura?”

“Close, it’s Lisa.”

“Let me tell you, Lisa, that wife of mine was a firecracker, she sure kept me on my toes but a few years ago now, she got her wish to die in her sleep. Let me tell you, that’s a wish that I’m sorry came true.”

“I’m sorry about your wife’s passing, Patrick.”

“Me too, and you see, it used to be that I felt I could communicate with her, you know, even though she’s in whatever and wherever the afterlife has to offer, but I don’t seem to be able to reach her anymore.”

“You’re saying you can’t talk to her anymore? I’m sure she’s still there somewhere, Patrick, I bet she still hears you.”

“Well, that’s good to know, thanks for saying so. Just wish I could hear her. Ya’ see, it seems my brain isn’t exactly tuned in to her anymore. Colleen, did I tell you she’s my daughter? She understands all about that, she’s a darn good caregiver for her old man as well. The last thing I ever wanted was to be a burden to her, she deserves to have a life of her own, ya’ know.”

“Wait a minute, your daughter’s your caregiver, does this mean you’re not feeling well?”

“Nice of you to ask, Miss Laura, um Miss Lisa? Anyway, other than my prostate that’s acting up something fierce, I’m feeling fine, I just can’t remember things as well as I used to because of a dementia thing I’ve got. The Doc says it’s Alzheimer’s plus something else, I can’t remember the something else…well, I guess it’s no surprise I can’t remember. So when Colleen and I met with the Doc, now he’s a real smart guy, let me tell you, he’s a brain doctor so he’s gotta be…um, what was I saying?”

“You and your daughter met with a smart doctor.”

“Right, so the Doc, he says there’s no cure for Alzheimer’s so Colleen and I knew right away that wasn’t good news at all, which, let me tell you, didn’t sit at all well with either of us. I said to the doctor, I said, “Look Doc, there must be a pill or two I can take, isn’t there?” Then I said, “They’ve got a pill that can give a man a four-hour erection, can’t they give me a pill that’ll take care of my withered brain?” Get it, withered?”

“Um, yeah, that’s kind of funny.”

“I thought so too, but the doctor didn’t laugh, I guess he was supposed to be serious and all, but I thought the erection comment would lighten the mood.––”

Give me that Dad, who are you talking to? Hello, who is this?”

“I’m Lisa Burton, the robot girl. I was just having a pleasant conversation with Patrick. Who are you?”

“I’m his son, Jonathan, I have to apologize about my dad, he’s not exactly right in the head…”

“I don’t know, he made total sense to me.”

“He’s got Alzheimer’s so that would be a first, him making sense. It’s pretty difficult for everyone, I mean …”

“Well, Jonathan, I would imagine it must be more difficult for your wonderful, father, wouldn’t you say?”

“I know, you’re right, it’s just that Colleen, she’s my sister who I hope will be back soon from a support group meeting she attends, she’s the one who is more involved with him so I’m not used to when he asks the same question over and over again. And the other day, he was at my wife’s and my house for dinner, and even though my wife told him what type of soup we were eating several times, it was squash soup, he kept forgetting. It was pretty embarrassing, I know that sounds harsh, but I’m just being honest.

“Oh, and the other day, Dad walked to a restaurant near his house to meet up with some Korean war buddies of his and he got lost and he forgot to put his house keys in his pocket. Colleen had put a Contact list of people in his wallet, you know, her and me, so the police were able to get in touch with someone who had keys to help him get home. We thought he was still able to live on his own without getting into trouble but Colleen and I are going to have to figure something out, and soon.”

“Jonathan, do you ever attend the support meetings?”

“I don’t really need that kind of crutch, and besides, anything I need to learn about my dad’s disease I can find on the internet.”

“How’s that working out for you?”

“I only go to websites I know are professional so I get all the correct information.”

“What I meant was, how’s that working for you, not getting support from people going through the same thing as you are? Maybe hearing how others handle stuff related to their loved one’s illness would be good for you. Sometimes the textbook answers aren’t as good as the real-life ones. Maybe the medical journals don’t adequately address the person inside the diseased body, how they feel, what they need from a personal perspective. I don’t know, I guess what I’m saying is it couldn’t hurt, right?”

“I’ll think about it…just a sec, my dad’s saying something.”

“Jonathan, what happened to that nice lady who called me. Did you find out what she wanted?”

“Dad, I’m just saying goodbye now. Sorry, Lisa, I have to go, and, uh, thanks for listening.”

“How about it, listeners. Have any of you ever had to care for a family member or friend with dementia? My author, Craig lost a grandparent to this horrible disease, and while he wasn’t the caregiver, it was hard on his entire family.

“You can learn more about Patrick, Colleen, and Jonathan in the novel, Requiem for the Status Quo, by Irene Frances Olson. I’ll post all the purchase links and other pertinents on the website.

“For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton. Please use those sharing buttons to help Irene spread the word. The book is available today for the first time, so I’m honored to be part of Irene’s and Patrick’s release day events.”

***

Family caregivers are oftentimes ruthlessly challenged by uninvolved family members who are quick to condemn, but reticent to offer assistance. Such is the case for Colleen Strand, a widow who recently found her own footing who takes on the task of caring for her father, Patrick Quinn, recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

Her older brother, Jonathan, criticizes Colleen at every turn and verbally abuses the father when he has the gall to exhibit symptoms of his disease. In short, Jonathan travels down the road of denial, leaving Colleen to deal with all matters regarding their father’s care.

Connected tenuously to a father who barely remembers her and a brother who has become an enigma, Colleen faces the moving target that is Alzheimer’s disease, determined to clothe her father with the dignity he deserves, while struggling to squeeze every minute of time she can from him.

 

Purchase Links:

Amazon Barnes & Noble Black Rose Writing Books-A-Million Indiebound

Irene Frances Olson writes from passion and experience. She was her father’s caregiver during his struggle with Alzheimer’s disease, and would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Having previously worked in memory care, she was not new to the disease, nor was her family immune. Irene hopes to make a difference in the lives of others by writing novels that encourage and support those who just might need another person in their corner.

***

You can also find Irene on the following social media sites:

Author website

Twitter: @Boomer98053

Facebook: @RedmondWriter

Instagram: irenefrancesolson

 

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Songs From Richmond Avenue, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Lisa Burton

Hi all you mystery lovers, this is Lisa Burton, the robot girl. You’ve landed on Lisa Burton Radio, and my guest today is a real enigma. He’s calling in today from The Relix Club in Las Vegas, and he’s known only as the Buddhist. “Welcome to the show, Buddhist.”

“My humblest of greetings, Lisa. One brief correction, if I may. I am currently in The Relix Club, true enough, but it’s located in Houston, Texas, where I have resided, on and off, for a number of years. The confusion may be that I have only recently returned from North Las Vegas. I flew west, you see, to make right a wrong done to a friend concerning his vehicle and another party’s rather substantial debt. It’s probably best to leaving it at that, at least in such a public forum. Too many people listening in, if you follow my meaning.”

“I take it this Relix Club you’re in is kind of a seedy place. When you called just now I distinctly heard glass breaking and someone cursing at the top of his lungs. Why did you choose to call in from there?”

“Cursing? Oh yes, Danny. He’s the bartender. It’s how he relieves stress and maintains order. I prefer chanting, myself. Do you want to talk about chanting and meditative states? Maybe chemical relaxants to assist with meditative states?”

“No. I want to talk about why you are calling from that Relix Club dive.”

“Well, it’s kind of my headquarters, so to speak. I do business out of here and am comfortable with the level of discretion provided by its staff and clientele. The dress code is fairly relaxed as well. Shirts and shoes are more of a humble suggestion than a requirement, you see, so long as you happen to be a paying customer. Plus it’s dark here. Easy on the eyes.”

“Now, Buddhist, my bio says you’re sleeping in an old car these days. What happened to drive you to those depths?”

“I must take exception here, Lisa. My current living arrangements have less to do with sinking to depths than they do with rising from the ashes – like a Phoenix, only in Houston. You see, there was a fairly substantial fire at my prior address, the cause of which has yet to be determined. All I can say on the record is that I was not the perpetrator. Anyway, I decided a more minimalistic approach to life was spiritually preferable after that. I like to think of the fire as something of a cosmic blessing, though I could have done without all the depositions.”

“So I understand using your friend’s car as a residence got him into a pickle last year that had something to do with unpaid gambling debts.”

“The car in question is no ordinary vehicle. It’s a classic Mercury Marquis touring car, circa 1976, containing the largest factory engine in commercial automotive history. Needless to say, it provided lots of room to stretch out, making it an obvious choice. Actually, I only slept in it a time or two and in no way took up residence. I can only say the Merc was central to my friend’s difficulties, but you should ask him about that. Wait, I’ll put him… He’s shaking his head, Lisa. Now, he’s leaving without even finishing his beer. I think I’ve only seen him do that once before.

“A thousand pardons, Hoss. Come on back!

“It’s difficult to explain, Lisa. You see he is the press by trade, yet he shuns the press. Kind of a yin and yang relationship with his chosen vocation, don’t you think?

“Understand, Lisa, I am limited as to what I can say out of a sense of loyalty and due to certain pending legal constraints that I unfortunately fall under. I will go on record to say his difficulties were not of his own making but rather due largely to a certain admirable naiveté on his part. That I fell asleep when I did, admittedly complicated matters.

“Danny, when you get a chance, another drink before the band starts making noise.”

“So what’s wrong with a nice band? It might give the old place some character.”

“Character? The Relix’s loaded with both character and characters. The bands, I’m afraid, tend to draw a more conventional segment of the populace than we’ve become accustomed to, so to speak. Less flexible in their sense of right and wrong, less forgiving. They ask for wine lists and make Danny nervous. What if there’s a fight, for example? These people will want cops and ambulances if someone really gets hurt.”

“Okay then, Buddhist. Let’s talk about the body you and your friend, and his date discovered. What kind of leads do the police have so far?”

“That unfortunate turn of events was most definitely none of my doing. Even Michelle was there as a witness to the discovery, and I can tell she never does anything injurious. My belief is the deceased fell into the shrubbery from an upstairs window while home alone. Possibly death by misadventure as the coroners say in such cases. Frankly, the deceased was, in my view, not as mentally sound as you or I. Say, how do you even know I was there when the body was found? Who talked? A thousand pardons, Lisa, but I’m starting to regret agreeing to this interview. I thought we’d be swapping lewd stories like Howard Stern does. Or, or, or, maybe giving away cars to your audience like Oprah. How do you know all of this?”

“Actually, I used to be a cop, and yes I’m recording the show for transcription onto the website.”

“Transcription? — So, Lisa, assuming that is your real name, do you think during the editing process you could by chance, I mean– Look, humblest of apologies but I have a pending commitment I nearly forgot that requires me to cut this short. A thousand apologies.

“Hoss, the Merc. I need to borrow the Merc. It’s of the utmost importance.”

“Buddhist? Are you still there? Buddhist?

“We seem to have lost Buddhist somehow. The good news is there is a book available. It’s called Songs From Richmond Avenue, by Michael Reed. I’ll post the link, and all the other deets on the website after I transcribe everything.

“Don’t forget about those sharing buttons on the website. I’m sure after he thinks about it, Buddhist will appreciate it, and I know Mike Reed will too.

“For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.”

***

A Houston Love Story, with Beer and a Couple Dead Folks Thrown In

Songs From Richmond Avenue by Michael Reed offers an off-kilter, satirical take on big-city misfits, the bars they frequent and the occasional, albeit, misguided quest for something better.

For the blurry-eyed denizens of the Relix Club and our narrator, a serially employed journalist with questionable work ethics, whiling away the hours engaged in their two favorite activities – drinking and betting on just about anything – is a pretty good life. That is until he meets pretty Michelle, a woman who he declares has “skin so perfect I doubted she even had pores.”

Could she be his salvation, he wonders. Maybe, but not until after he completes an alcohol- fueled urban odyssey involving Michelle’s Nihilist stripper roommate, a paramilitary Buddhist barfly, a pair of dumber-than-dirt, debt-collecting hoodlums, and the usual ration of Bayou City sweat and torrential rain.

“Bukowski, no doubt, would have found comfort and more than a few laughs in the sideshow of Houston inhabited by the author.”

– Steve Olafson, longtime Houston journalist

“It keeps the reader turning pages while navigating the Bayou City at a breakneck pace…”

– Tom Minder, author of Long Harbor Testament

To order

Print: www.blackrosewriting.com/literary/songsfromrichmondavenue

Kindle: www.amazon.com/Songs-Richmond-Avenue-Michael-Reed-ebook/dp/B01N039ZM7

Michael Reed is an award-winning Texas journalist, which means he has lived in inexpensive apartments and driven paid-for used cars most of his life. Experience as a reporter and editor, along with extensive, though at the time completely unintended research into the many facets of Houston’s dive bar scene, provided him with the requisite background material for this novel. This is the Southern Illinois University graduate’s first novel.

You can also find him in the following locations:

Twitter: @trends_to_reed

Facebook: SongsFromRichmondAve

Instagram: @miker0130

 

Email: songsfromrichmond@gmail.com

 

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Ichabod Brooks, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Don’t touch that dial, you’ve found Lisa Burton Radio, the only show on the airwaves that interviews the characters from the books you love. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and this interview is one I’ve looked forward to for a long time. He’s my favorite character from the land of Windemere, and I’ve interviewed a few of them. “Give a warm welcome to Ichabod Brooks.”

“Thanks. Happy to be here and . . . talk. I have to admit that I’m not really sure how this set up works. I didn’t bring anything to help if one of these things explode.”

“Ichabod, your story inspires me. It’s encouraging to find an adventurer with a family. So many adventurers seem to wander from place to place, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I mean, you even have a pet… well, some kind of snort-pig thing. Can you tell our listeners how you make all that work?”

“To be honest, I did the wandering adventurer thing when I was younger. Just followed either the money, the rumors, or whatever caught my attention. Things became more stable when I began taking jobs and issuing contracts to my employers. Guess that’s what helped me make the transition more than most people in my career. Although, I never went for the glory and save the world type of adventures, so I may have been working toward this in the first place without knowing it. Just had to find the right woman and reach an age where I was more interested in putting food on the table than fighting monsters. Not that the latter doesn’t have some appeal.

“How do I make it work? Well, that depends on who you ask. My friends will say that I’m whipped and make it work by letting my wife call the shots. Bards would tell you that there’s nothing I can’t do, which is a blatant lie. My own opinion is that I make sure my wife and I discuss everything. She’s kind of an adventurer too, so we have to plan our jobs in a way that means one of us is always home with our son. There are no secrets between us unless the job involves sensitive material and we can’t legally share. That happens more with her than me since I avoid those headaches on principle. That principle is that I don’t want to deal with those types of messes.

“Only other piece of advice I can give is to make every minute of family time count. Romantic time with my wife and play time with my son are very important to me. Never know when my luck will run out or if I’ll ever reach retirement. This is one of the reasons I bring home trophies for my son and spend time telling him the stories. The real ones and not those abominations that the bards sing about me. Nobody could possibly defeat fifty trolls with a single shot of their longbow. Not unless they used fireball arrows and led the monsters into an enclosed area that’s been doused in oil. Fine, I guess it is possible.”

“There is a clause in your contract that warms my circuits. Before you take any job, they have to agree that you can claim a souvenir for your son. I’ve read your stories, and he must have quite a collection by now.”

“Funny how that started. My son hadn’t been born yet and an employer gave me a souvenir to bring home. This was a pinecone from a tree that had grown to take over an entire castle and I managed to revert it back to its normal state. That gave me the idea of adding the clause because it will help my son remember and learn about my real adventures. Last thing I want is for him to think the bard songs are all true. As far as size, the collection is in one room of the house and he can only get in there with me or my wife. I’ll admit to having a few dangerous items in there, but a friend specializes in display cases and he gives me a good deal for bulk products.

“Bards? Let me tell you about the bards! Do you have any idea how many of them wanted to sponsor today’s show? I was bombarded with CDs and demo tapes. I finally had to run one off at gunpoint because he staked out the studio. I mean, I’ve had to deal with paparazzi a time or two, but these guys are crazy.”

“Guess they caught wind of you having a big audience. Must be newcomers to the trade because the veterans are a lot more discreet and respectful. They still lie because they claim it’s good for business. There was one adventure where I traveled with a bard to handle some rogue barbarians. His name was Rebec and he latched onto me at a tavern. Couldn’t shake the man and he was trouble from the start. He nearly got us killed a few times and then made it sound like I took out an entire tribe when it was just a handful of warriors in a very narrow mountain pass. This is why I prefer traveling with friends who have no financial interest in lying about my exploits. Can’t get very far in this job without friends.”

“Oh yeah, Dex, Morgan, and Meg. They say no man is an island, and you have some pretty good help when you need it. Dex seems like a handy guy, tell our listeners about him.”

“Where to even start with a piece of work like Dex? As far as dwarves go, he’s fairly cuddly once you get to know him. Feels far too clinical to call him a good example of a great friend, but he’s there for me both on and off the job. We try to get together once a month to have a few drinks and get the families together. Dex doesn’t have kids, so he enjoys spoiling my son whenever he’s over. That and telling exaggerated tales of our adventures in order to get under my skin.

“Hard to remember when we first met too. Dex says it was when we were assigned to the same job, but I swear we got into a barfight two months prior to that. You can’t really forget a beard that red and elegantly braided. At my age, the memory doesn’t always work the way it’s supposed to.

“We don’t get to adventure together as often as we used to. Dex’s specialty is mountaineering, so I go to him whenever I have a job that requires a lot of climbing. My knee and lower back make those jobs more difficult. Hate to depend on him more than he depends on me, which is why he’s trying to help me get the kinks out. Now he has Meg helping him with this self-proclaimed quest because she wants me to stay in shape in case she needs me. Her expertise is the ocean and I recently worked with them to retrieve an artifact called Zaria’s Kiss. Kind of wish they were still squabbling instead of getting along because having a dwarf and a gnome teaming up on you is no picnic. Better to have them on my side.”

“I loved that one. It not only provided a great adventure underwater, it also hinted at the larger pantheon of Windemere. Would you like to offer some closing remarks to our listeners today? Then I have one more question, more of a request actually.”

“Not really sure what you mean by closing remarks, but I guess I’m just hoping people enjoy my real story. I’ve had plenty of adventures and this chat has left me more nervous than all of those combined. As you can tell, I’m not much of a talker. That definitely helps in the adventurer trade because you need to listen for danger and to your employer. Guess it’s nice to end with some advice like that.”

“Can I have your autograph?”

“I don’t see why not. Mostly because you asked politely. Good to see a youngster show some manners.”

“For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton. Don’t forget to tell your social circles about The Life and Times of Ichabod Brooks. You do that by using the sharing buttons on the website. I’ll also include purchase links, and you don’t want to miss this one”

***

Enter the world of Windemere with 11 action adventure short stories featuring a man who is out to make an honest living.

Some heroes seek fame. Some seek fortune. Others simply want to save the world. Ichabod Brooks only wants to put food on the table for his family.

Known and respected as the man who can get any job done, Ichabod has seen his share of adventure. Most of which have been highly exaggerated by bards. Still, the man has his famous reputation for a reason. Whether it be climbing a temperamental mountain for eggs or escorting orphans to their new homes, Ichabod takes every job seriously and makes sure he is as prepared as he can be. Not that it helps since things always take a turn for the worse.

Pick up a copy of The Life & Times of Ichabod Brooks right here.

 

 

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com

Twitter: @cyallowitz

Facebook: Charles Yallowitz

Website: www.legendsofwindemere.com

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