Yeah, I’m still at home and in pain. My keyboard and mind still function. Well… my mind functions at its normal level, never said it was great.
I’m about ready to fill a hot water bottle with a big Tom & Jerry. It can medicate in multiple ways.
If I were in charge, and I should be, I would add one thing to the end of Game of Thrones. I was exchanging comments with Charles Yallowitz early this morning and this came to me.
After the last episode aired, I would require all the dead characters to return in full costume. I’d make them all into a chorus, and I’d even hire Eric Idle to direct them. Then they’d all sing this song:
Of course, we’d have to change one line somewhere to accommodate Hodor. Maybe Eric Idle can help here.
I swear to God, it would be an internet sensation. Think of the video you could make. A little girl burning at the stake singing along, one several being eaten by dogs, seas full of drowning sailors. It would be awesome. Just think of old man Lanister sitting on the toilet, full of arrows and whistling.
It could work for The Walking Dead too, but not quite as well in my mind.
I had an email exchange this morning with one of my favorite authors. We’re putting together an upcoming Lisa Burton interview, and there is no word to describe a sigh. Think about the “radio” format. If someone sighed you would hear it. I don’t want to break the format to tell listeners a guest character sighed, so what would it sound like?
Think about it. We have “words” for: tch, hmmm, ahhh, oooh, mmhmm, even hmph. We need a word for a sigh.
She suggested perhaps there is an Onomatopoeia Control Board we can petition. Authors need a word for a sigh.
My wife has been watching The Hallmark Channel. I’m a captive audience, I can’t exactly run screaming from the room currently. I have to prop myself against the back wall just to go pee right now.
Everyone of these stories is the same damned story. Life-changing boyfriend with a mansion and a helicopter gets dumped in favor of a small town bumpkin with a broke-assed dairy, because love. I know dairy farmers, and there isn’t a lot to look forward to. Oh, and the actors are all exceptionally pretty, even the men. Aside from the actresses, their characters are always adorable. This time of year there is the added requirement of Christmas being involved. Bumpkin shows her the true meaning of Christmas, that kind of thing.
What kills me here is people eat this crap up. I should rip off about a hundred or so of these and retire. They teach us not to have Mary Sue characters, but there they are in abundance. I’d probably blow it by creating unique characters that don’t fill the recipe out right. Grouchy old bastard with emphysema reconciles with ex-wife who once shot him through the liver. Expect scenes of making a noose out of red & green ribbon and suggestions of where to stick those baubles.
Okay, enough of my nonsense. Pass me the hot water bottle and always look on the bright side of life.
Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Glad to see your sense of humour is still intact, Craig!
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Thanks and thanks for the reblog too.
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Glad to see your humor is still flowing. I totally laughed hard at this post, especially the Eric Idle part. I think when I’m writing I use the the italics version of the word “sigh” but I agree there needs to be a word for it.
As for your Hallmark Channel revelation, you see now why romance is a gazillion dollar business. Heck, Hallmark Channel is publishing authors now for similar stories.
I personally love reading romances, no matter if it’s been done a million times. It speaks to my swooning heart. I’m a Harlequin reader ever since I was ten years old. Nuff said.
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See, I don’t think my grouchy old couple story will sell. Although the red and green noose is pretty.
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Hey, don’t say no yet. It could appeal to the whole BDSM crowd.
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Have to ask: What’s a Tom & Jerry? Could have sworn there was a sound effect for sigh. Though, I think it also depends on the type of sigh. You have pleasurable (aahhhh), bored (huuuuuh), and frustrated (uuuuuhhhh). It’s a rather broad reaction. Not to mention one that gets you odd looks from other people in the house if they here you making the noise in order to get an ear for it.
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Powdered sugar mixed with a raw egg. Put one spoonful in your mug. Add a generous portion of rum & brandy. (I usually go for straight rum) top it with boiling water and stir. Add a bit of nutmeg to the top and enjoy. Now I want to walk around the mall making those noises and taking notes… for science of course.
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Okay, I see my confusion. For some reason, I thought you put it in a hot water bottle to put against your back. My guess makes even less sense now that I picture it.
Malls would be the way to go. Especially if you get on the announcement system.
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Ha. The PA system would absolutely be the way to go.
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“A Tom and Jerry is a traditional Christmastime cocktail in the United States, devised by British journalist Pierce Egan in the 1820s. It is a variant of eggnog with brandy and rum added and served hot, usually in a mug or a bowl.
Another method uses egg whites, beaten stiff, with the yolks and sugar folded back in, and optionally vanilla extract added. A few spoonfuls are added to a mug, then hot milk and rum are added, and it is topped with nutmeg. Pre-made Tom and Jerry batter, typically produced by Wisconsin and Minnesota manufacturers, is sold in regional supermarkets during the Christmas season.” Wikipedia
Charles, think Bailey’s but with eggnog.
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Wow! I just answered with the way I usually make them. Never looked up any superior recipes. As long as it keeps my hot water bottle warm between sips.
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It’s a family tradition Christmas drink on my mother’s side of the family. They just buy the premade stuff then add the liquor. Sooo good.
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Thanks. Not sure I ever had eggnog. Heard of it though.
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You probably need to add that to your bucket list.
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As long as I can find someone who can make it.
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You can buy it in the dairy section, but it isn’t as good as home made.
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I was worried about that. Just like box wine.
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Exactly. But like boxed wine, if you don’t know wine, you won’t know the difference.
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Good point.
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GASP! You’ve never had eggnog?? Go to the store and get a small carton. It’s like a thick milk, almost like a shake. I sprinkle cinnamon on it.
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To be fair, I’m Jewish and it isn’t a thing for us. Only heard stories and it sounds goopy.
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Well, I learned something today.
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Me too. It’s that M&M’s has a coffee nut variety.
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It’s a party. We’ll wash them down with eggnog.
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I’m intrigued. Though my stomach is already complaining.
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Oh yeah, it’s going to be bad. We should probably not go to sleep on a belly full of that.
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Avoid moving vehicles too.
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Oh, my gosh. I think I’m laughing way too hard at this video. Anyone who can rhyme gristle, whistle, and this’ll has my vote.
I got an email not too long ago that Hallmark was looking for clean romance novels to turn into movies. I think you’re on to something; we should churn out a bunch of them and sit back and watch the money roll in. Of course, they would have to be formulaic novels. No GOBs. (As a writer, I understand your frustration with the films, but I have to admit, they’re a guilty pleasure of mine.)
Sigh.
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My eye is twitching now. Can we at least write them about dwarves and aliens? Maybe a witch or two?
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You might get away with a witch. I don’t think aliens or dwarves will cut it, though. What about elves and a Christmas theme? (I can see you rolling your eyes.)
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I’ll bet Elrond hates this time of year,.
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Now there’s a thought with lots of parody possibilities…
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You write it and I’ll be your beta reader.
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Hah! Little chance of that. Just got more freelance work today.
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Very cool. It could be the career you didn’t know you wanted.
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Meh, possibly. Just so it helps pay the bills for a while.
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How did I get off at this stop??? LOL
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Portrait of a man; Billy Ray Chitwood. He boards a train to visit his friends, but makes one small detour into The Twilight Zone.
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Again, this has possibilities! Feel better soon, T&J or not!
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Thanks, PH.
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Pretty funny, Craig. I hope the Tom and Jerry’s work quickly.
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Me too.
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;-D
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I’m the guy on the bridge! (Edvard Munch ‘The Scream’)
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“Grouchy old bastard….” LOL. Sounds like something my sister would write. Do you happen to read The Onion?
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I haven’t read The Onion for a long time. It’s fun, don’t know why I drifted away.
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Your sense of humor is intact. Romance is a big seller. Guess I’m writing the wrong genre! 🙂
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Me too. Thanks.
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I do love a good romance, but I like reality woven throughout. Not everyone is beautiful and perfect. 🙂 I can’t think of a physical word for a sigh. That’s a tough one. Hope you start to feel better soon. Perhaps a trip to the local chiropractor might help?
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Maybe so. I have one more day of moping and hoping, then I’ll have to try something else.
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Great post! Creativity in FULL FORCE today! 😀
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Much appreciated. I’ll be here all week. (Hope not, but could happen.)
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I feel for you! I don’t know what’s worse – being in pain or having to watch cheesy formulaic romances on TV. The cheese always seems to get worse at Christmas.
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People love them or they wouldn’t be so popular. Hallmark has built an entire network around them. They aren’t for me though, and given the choice, I’ll choose pain.
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Me too!
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Nothing like some Python so brighten up your day! 😀 Always Look… is now one of the most popular songs to have at the end of a funeral over here in the UK . I had it for my husband using the version recorded by the entertainers at his football club’s fanfest and all his stadium buddies sang along to it! Would be the perfect finale for GoT 😛
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I read that when I was looking for the video. It makes sense in a way. Most folks were good humored and would want to have loved ones remember that. GOT could even have King Geoffrey gargling the whistling parts in the video.
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LMAO – poor Joffrey! 😛
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Glad to hear your mind is still functioning in whatever capacity counts as normal for you, despite the pain. 😉
I’ll read and watch things across multiple genres. I love a good mystery, enjoy some horror, am a big fan of fantasy, etc. But I also appreciate and enjoy a good old fashioned sappy romance from time to time, whether it be in book format or a movie. I know those stories have been done a million times, with mainly just names and locations changing, but that’s the whole point. There’s something comforting in the familiarity of knowing how it will end, and that love will win out. Add to that the cosy Christmas that you know isn’t how things really are, but can’t help thinking would be lovely if you could only have a Christmas like that, and you have a recipe for a sappy romantic Christmas movie that will make those of us who enjoy them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Sometimes that’s exactly what you need. At least, sometimes it’s what I need.
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This reminds me of the story behind the writing monomyth, that all good stories follow a pattern. It certainly seems to work in this case.
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Exactly.
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And that’s exactly why I don’t watch the Hallmark channel. Lifetime is guilty of this too. Maybe to a lesser degree, but still. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to read back to see why you’re in pain.
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I don’t watch many of them, but I can easily get sucked into a Hallmark movie. I love all those happily-ever-afters, kind of like fairy-tales for adults. Sometimes I just want the sparkly world where everything ends perfectly. Yeah, roll your eyes. I’ll ask your wife to pass the popcorn. 🙂
And, wow, you’re really having a rough go of it. I hope you get straightened out before the holidays. I know from experience how long these things can last!
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I’m still sleeping in a chair, if you can call it sleep. I’ve forced myself to walk to the corner twice today. It hurts, but seems to help. Tomorrow, I may brave the office, but I’m worried about my desk chair. Fingers crossed.
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Maybe a half day at the office? And take the heating pad with you!
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Maybe.
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I usually get sucked into those as well, lol.
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Angry sigh: “humph!” Relieved sigh: “whew!” Tired sigh: “yawn.”
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Exactly. What about that McDreamy kind of sigh, or the frustrated sigh?
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McDreamy: “mmmm…” Frustrated: “aaargh…”
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I’ll submit those to Websters. Thanks.
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Don’t get me started on The Hallmark Channel – hubby watches those movies all the time. I swear, the one he watched a few days ago (I was also a captive audience) was a rip off of Northern Exposure, Legally Blonde, Doc Hollywood, with a shot of Christmas, shaken and stirred. Same format and completely predictable. I feel your pain, Craig. Not the back pain, but you know what I mean.
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That’s so funny. Usually it’s the wife watching and the husband complaining.I think my wife watched the same movie.
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