Don’t touch that dial, you’ve landed at Lisa Burton Radio, the show where we bring you the fictional characters you love. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and my guest to day is Dr. Samuel West from the Book of Lost Doors Series, by Misha Burnett.
“Welcome to the show, Samuel.”
“Thank you for having me, Lisa.”
“My sheet says you are a pale surgeon. Tell us what that involves.”
“I am a devotee of the Vital Art. Throughout human history art has always been other-directed, which is to say that human race modifies its environment to produce a given aesthetic effect. The Vital Art—still, to be admitted, in its comparative infancy—internalizes the artistic drive.”
“You lost me.”
“My canvas, my clay, as it were, is the human form itself. Utilizing modern surgical techniques and a few specialized refinements—the… cutting edge, as it were—I transform my patients into living works of art.”
“Oh sweet mother of robotics! Are there others out there like you?”
“It is growing artistic movement within what might be termed the subterranean community. For a number of purely practical reasons we eschew publicity. Law invariably lags behind technology as I am sure you’re aware.”
“Tell me about it. Being mechanical is not a crime, people!”
“There are, at present, two main schools within the Pale Surgeon movement. The older and more representational Dead Man’s Shoes Society, and the Ten Teacups, of which I am a member. Without going into the rather… esoteric philosophical differences between the schools, suffice to say that as part of the Ten Teacups I feel that all organic life can and should be used as models in the transformative process, echoing, in fact, the evolutionary process. Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, you know.”
“Let’s back up a second. When you say “transformative” what exactly do you mean? Transforming into what?”
“Into themselves. Some might say ‘more than human’, but I believe that humanity, itself is interpretive. Does one become other than human by having tattoos? Pierced ears or lips or nipples? Does alloplasty negate humanity?”
“No.”
“Of course not. The human race has always embraced body modification as a form of self-expression, from filing teeth and facial scars in the earliest human settlements in Olduvai. We merely expand the limits of the canvas.”
“And Keith Morgan? What did he want to be transformed into?”
“…”
“You still with me, doc?”
“How do you know that name?”
“I’m a journalist, Dr. West. I research things.”
“Yes. I see that you do.”
“So tell me about Keith Morgan.”
“That was a commissioned piece. In today’s world, unfortunately, art must sometimes toil in the vineyards of commerce.”
“You cut off his head and replaced it with a closed circuit TV set.”
“The modifications were considerably more extensive than that. He became, in fact, a full functioned telefactor. Artistically, I will admit it was rather crude—not a portfolio piece at all. Technically, however, there were some unique challenges—particularly since I was operating on a very tight schedule.”
“Operating for Agony Delapour, in fact.”
“I am not in the habit of revealing the names of my patrons.”
“Your long association with Delapour & Associates is a matter of public record, doctor. West Medical Transport, the ambulance service that you own, has a very lucrative contract with Bellona Staffing, which is owned by, who? Delapuour & Associates. I see also that you were listed as personal physician for a number of key D&A personnel, including Agony herself.”
“I won’t deny that I was—at one time—associated with Delapour & Associates. I am no longer.”
“Getting back to Keith Morgan—did he, or did he not consent to the procedure that you performed on him?”
“I did not agree to be on your program to discuss Keith Morgan.”
“No? Then let’s talk about John Cabot.”
“I have no comment.”
“You vivisected the man and used his internal organs to build a coin operated fortune telling machine.”
“I think this interview is over.”
“Like Keith Morgan, you operated on John Cabot without his consent. Also, while working for Delapour & Associates. Under the direct orders of Agony Delapour herself, is that not true?”
“Good day, Miss Burton. Thank you for your time.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easy, doc! The public deserves the truth about Delapour & Associates! Doc? Hello, are you still there?”
“…”
“He hung up on me. What a turd, oops, I mean twit. Thank you for tuning in to Lisa Burton Radio. The story of Dr. Samuel West is a matter of public record. You can read all about it the Book of Lost Doors Series, by Misha Burnett.
“Don’t forget to click the sharing links at the bottom of this post. They help keep the lights on around here, and can help bring Dr. West’s story to the attention of the general public.”
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