Tag Archives: Yard House

Upholstery, stress, and a side of anxiety

It was a stressful day for me today. We started off with the pee wee football game, and that was a breeze. Our grandson is good at defense if someone explains it to him. Turns out he’s a good running back too.

I pumped myself up for the rest of our day, but we forgot our checkbook and had to go back to the house for it. I don’t do well with life’s big decisions, but I have the ability to plow through them. Once I’ve made up my mind, I’m all in.

We went back and forth over upholstery all last night. It turns out that we were choosing the least ugly of three ugly choices. Come to find out, that version was not available in Idaho. We settled for the middle ugly version.

I’m being kind of cryptic, and so what we did today was buy a new camp trailer. We’ve never owned any kind of adult toys in our lives, and it was time. After decades of “maybe next year” we finally decided that next year never comes. We’re in our fifties now, and it’s time for us to have some fun. Here’s what we took home.

It’s one of the smaller Lance campers. I didn’t feel like manipulating a huge camper down the highways and byways. Lance is famous for their slide in campers, and they ought to make a good trailer.

It has a cool slide out section that clearly shows the ugly upholstery inside. We went a bit larger than I wanted, because my wife wanted the bed you could access from either side. Most of them are sideways, and someone has to get in first then sleep against the wall.

That image shows how the bed fits in. It also comes with a cool automatic awning. It has a wind detection program that rewinds it if the wind comes up. It also comes with some cool party lights that my wife really likes. I hope the picture shows the cool party lights.

What drives me crazy is the way all dealerships handle with their customers after you’ve made a commitment. “You want light bulbs with that?” You find out that the $150 per month for the rest of your life actually comes to $250 per month – for the rest of your life. If you want power, you need a generator. But wait, if you want to actually run anything, you need two generators. Cha ching!

We were at the dealership for about six hours while they tried to sell me extended warranties and such. I liked the idea of a Scotchguard on the upholstery and another protectant for the exterior paint. The guy had me sold and seemed to say it was $250 more. When he added it to our contract it was $1400 more. I stopped him cold. Everything is an extra on these things. The financing sucks you in, but you really can’t get that price unless you already have everything you need and waive all the extended warranties.

Then there was the five minute tutorial on how to do everything. It’s a lot of information, and I’m never going to get it until I actually do it once. That freaks me out. So I need some sort of pressure reducing part if I ever hook into water at a campground. That only happens every five years or so, and I have to remember so I don’t blow out the plumbing. Does anyone out there think I’ll remember?

But wait, there’s more. I can’t park this at my house, and have to rent a slot at a storage facility. Cha ching!

So I’m stressed. Honest to God, through the roof stressed. My wife hates this about me, but she acknowledges it if nothing else. We don’t even have an available weekend together until July. We will camp though in 2015, come Hell or high water we’re going.

My wife found some medication that seems to help a man like me. I’m sitting at the Yard House right now. Here is a small dose of Anderson Valley Wild Turkey Bourbon Barrel aged Stout. It helps, but it’s going to take several more.

We already decided we need some more stuff like a cordless drill, toilet brush, new sheets for the bed, and a million other things. Buying the damned thing was only the beginning. (Oh God! She’ll probably want to go back to Bed Bath and Beyond!) I have a ton of stuff from my tent camping days, but she says new stuff is required. She has some say in all this too, but we compromise well.

The camper has USB ports, so I can keep writing, and/or outlining while we’re out. I know we’re going to have a great time, it just bugs me to go through the process of purchasing.

I’m on my third stout now, and things are looking up. Maybe after four or five more pints I’ll be more excited about the process.

I may start writing my next novel out in the pine forest somewhere, while listening to that damned bird. Then again, I might be in a hot springs not really caring all that much at all. Tomorrow never comes, and I think we’re going to enjoy this. It may prohibit some of my weekend posts, but I’ll catch up when we get back home.


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