Tag Archives: vandalism

Living in the moment

I put the pro in procrastinate today. It was a perfect writing day for me, because Old What’s Her Face had to work. I spent my time on reading blogs, social media, chatting with friends. Eventually, I decided to work on something.

I got to the writing cabin late, with four projects looming. I need to make edits to Lanternfish, send out the next section to my critique group, brush up my short story, and possibly add new words to Mrs. Molony.

Head down, I hacked away at the chapter I needed to edit, but something didn’t feel right. I wandered through the cabin. “Lisa. Lisa?”

“Back here.” I found her working on the flowerbeds outside.

“We need to go to town. I have to tip over a statue.”

“What on Earth for?”

“It’s a living in the moment thing. This is all over the news and social media. I want to be able to tell my grandkids that I participated. Maybe some of this can weave its way into one of my stories.”

“You flew out here. It’s several hours back by road.”

“Then we’d better get started.”

“You can ride in my sidecar, or we have the old Land Rover from our storyboarding safaris.”

“Let’s take the Land Rover.”

It took her an hour to get ready and fuel up the car. Several decent mud holes, a couple of snowdrifts, and we finally reached Boise.

“This is your shindig. Where to?” Lisa rolled down her window.

“There’s a perfectly good statue of Lincoln in the park. We can start there.”

Lisa’s eyes flickered as her internal works paired with the cellular network. “That’s bronze. You won’t even be able to budge it.”

“You have that industrial robot strength. I’m sure together we can get Abe on his head somehow.”

“Oh, no. This is your deal. I’ll drive you, because you pay the bills. Any vandalism is all on you.”

“Party pooper.”

She signaled then pulled in by Zoo Boise. I hit the ground running as soon as she found a parking spot. I grunted while trying to shove the bronze onto the grass. Finally, I crawled up on his pedestal and tried again. Abe didn’t budge.

“Well?” she asked.

I strained with all my might, then clutched my side. “I think I pulled something.”

“Can we go now?”

“I’m not giving up.” I looked both ways, then jogged across the street to the community rose garden where I kicked over their garden gnome. I dusted off my hands while strutting back to the car. “How about that?”

“Fabulous. I need to swing by the nursery on the way back. We need some plant food.”

She drove down State Street then parked at the nursery. “Coming in?”

I stared at the flock of plastic flamingoes in their lawn. “No. I’m good right here.”

Lisa walked inside and I waited until she was out of sight. This was my moment. I attacked the flamingoes with fury. I managed to kick six of them over when the management came running.

Not wanting to deal with The Man, I dove in the Land Rover, then sped away.

I went around the block, then called Lisa’s internal cellular number. She didn’t answer. Finally, I dropped the Rover into gear and headed home. Lisa is pretty resourceful, and I’m sure she’ll find her way back.

Lisa Burton

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