Procrastinating and falling forward

It wasn't quite the weekend I intended, and then it was. That's kind of cryptic, but here's how it happened.

I needed to keep the Lisa Burton Radio line moving. I'm in the habit of telling folks two weeks out when to expect their radio interview. At one week out, I send a final proof to that week's guest, assemble, and schedule the post. That was my primary goal, because folks are counting on me to get it done. Mission accomplished.

I needed to write my last micro-fiction for October, but put it off all day Saturday. I've learned, when procrastinating on these, that something isn't quite ready yet. That was the case with the last story.

The novella, called The Hat, tried to seduce me all day. I promised myself I wouldn't start it until next weekend, and staved off the craving by writing a blog piece about the Research Sirens. This was only partially fiction. Conversia, one of the sirens, wanted me to interview some folks to get the details right. I have reached out to a medical person and a musical person, and they are willing to help me. In the comments, I also got another offer of musical assistance. It's so cool to know folks who will help out. I'm willing to consult on anything I might know about too if anyone needs it.

I spent a big part of today on email, and Sharknado Five. Yeah- yeah, these films suck, but how bad they suck is part of the appeal.

Old What's Her Face, said she needed a pedicure and asked if I could watch the dogs while she was out.

“Well, of course, Honey. Whatever you want.”

While she was gone, the stars lined up for my last micro-fiction. I wanted some confusion, and I want readers to see it right away in this story. I'm doing it on purpose, and don't want readers to think I'm just an idiot when things happen out of order. Today, I was ready to put it all on paper, and did. This one made me emotional when I wrote it, and I hope that comes across.

These micros will post, one per week, during an October event I call Macabre Macaroni. Tuesday is usually a non-blogging day for me, and works perfectly for this event. This year there are five Tuesdays, so I needed five stories. I have them now.

I've adopted the philosophy that if I'm going to fall – fall forward. That's kind of how it worked, and I'm pretty pleased with my weekend effort.

I have to make a road trip to Moscow, Idaho on Wednesday. I will drive back on Thursday. I'll check in when I can, so make sure to treat Lisa's radio guest well during my drive home. I'll weigh in on the comments as soon as possible.

Okay, goofing off

I know Wednesday is one of my regular posting days. I’ve been goofing off, and didn’t even get my critique work finished.

Why! Sharknado II, of course. This is one of the worst movies ever made. It’s bad on purpose. I want to see it again.

It comes complete with dozens of celebrity cameos. Everything in it is unrealistic. Everything except for the fact they pumped Tara Reid full of painkillers and they didn’t phase her at all. That part seemed pretty realistic.

I may stay up until midnight to watch it again.

I have a Confession

I’ve had company for a couple of days, and am hurting for recent blog fodder. I updated the signature line in my email form, and that isn’t enough to carry a blog post. People who I exchange email with will get easy access to my Amazon author page and my blog.

So my confession is…I watch bad movies on purpose. You know the kind, they’re on the SyFy channel every weekend. I enjoy laughing at how bad they are. I also enjoy finding the story and plot errors in them.

If nothing else, they may help me avoid some of the common things these movies do wrong when I write my own stories. The one tonight had characters I didn’t particularly care for making absurd decisions that served the plot, but not the character.

Two people, a child and a blind babysitter, left the safety of a secure house to run into a cornfield when the killer wasps showed up. It was the BLIND babysitter’s idea. The only exterminator in town blows up his vehicle full of pesticide (on purpose) to stop a small swarm of killer wasps. Never-mind that it had decent extermination equipment in it, or that it was their only ride out of town. Makes me wonder why they didn’t just drive away and let the authorities deal with it.

The little girl winds up eating a magic peach that makes her become the wasp queen. (The peach was injected with something that bothered the wasps.) She didn’t turn into a wasp. She didn’t gain control of the wasps. It didn’t do anything except make her attractive to the wasps. (Major letdown. A queen ought to be good for something.) The wasps sealed her in a hive and apparently had no more use for her. (Okay, the wasp zombies took her to the hive. Yeah, the wasps made zombies out of the people they attacked.) In other words, instant victim, just add water. (Or peach juice as the case may be.) Heroes always come across better if there is a victim to rescue.

There was a mad scientist character behind all this. Robert Englund, of Freddie Krueger fame, got this job. The government forced him to make military grade wasps. Turns out he wasn’t sicking the wasps on the town. He was trying to find a way to get rid of the wasps.

When it came time to rescue the little girl, Robert Englund simply walked up without obstruction, tore open the hive, and pulled her out. (Without his fancy fingernails.) What a letdown. That’s it. Of course the government showed up and shot him whilst blowing the wasp nest to hell with helicopters.

Most of these movies have one good idea behind them. Military grade wasps as a biological weapon is a decent idea. They’d be more useful as a weapon without the zombie residue. If someone had spent a little time on it, there could have been a decent story here.

I like to laugh at how bad some of these movies really are. I also think there’s a value in learning what not to do. Does anyone else watch these things? They must, or they wouldn’t keep airing them.

Bring on Sharknado II.