Tag Archives: landscaping

The day I ruined the planet

Old What's Her Face* wanted to buy into a program one of the local franchises offers. Zamzow's is a store that's part feed store, part nursery, part garden center, and part pet store. If you need goldfish, fertilizer, petunias, or baby chicks they have them.

She likes the idea of seasonal applications of various things to make our yard pretty. (All of which Zamzow's will gleefully email her about at the correct time.) We picked out our Springtime fertilizer pellets. Of course she also needed some metal flower looking things to stick in her flower bed. Oh, and some pre-emergent crabgrass killer, plus some stuff to kill off the clover that's been slowly taking over our yard.

I spent the rest of my day first exchanging the hoses I already placed out. Who knew there was a specific one for the front yard, and a specific one for the back? Obviously not me.

Then I had to turn on our sprinkler system. We finally have water in the ditch, and can start using it instead of the hoses.

My instructions were to spread the granulated fertilizer first. Then spread the pre-emergent crabgrass killer. Don't worry, my wife supervised this complicated operation.

My next job was to run the sprinklers through their cycle and make sure all of this granulation stuff got wet.

Only then was I allowed to hook up the hoses and spray a liquid weed killer over the top of everything. Now it has to dry for a couple of days to make sure the weeds are really angry. Come on, we know it doesn't really kill them.

After I completed my tasks, I took a quick bath and am happy to report the drain pipe didn't explode from all the chemicals.

I make no promises as to what this chemical cocktail is doing to the planet. If my lawn ignites in the next few days, I'll try to get a video for your amusement. A steel lawnmower blade, one tiny spark, a whole bunch of miracle chemicals…

I still remember the good old days when I could top-dress the lawn with manure and it looked great all year long. I still think it works, but I was wrong, just ask my wife.

I haven't written any new fiction in weeks. I feel guilty about leaving the Yak Guy to his own devices, and the short story incomplete, but not guilty enough to jump back in.

I would feel differently if sales were thriving, but that isn't the case. I'll probably jump back in sometime this week, but mostly for my own amusement. I really don't feel the need to get another book out in cyberspace any time soon. That will come eventually, but right now I want to take time to plan some camping trips, go fishing with my son, and probably place some fire extinguishers around the yard. Do they sell lawn insurance?

*Entertaining Stories; protecting my wife's name since 2013.

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Slacker!

I skipped my normal Sunday post this weekend. It isn't that I had no topic, we were just busy. It didn't even involve writing related stuff.

My wife earmarked the spot where my deceased apricot tree was removed. She's also a sucker for a good promotion. A local nursery gives away what they call “bucks” during the Spring and early Summer sales period. If you save these bucks, you can use them after the season winds down to purchase items they didn't sell during the rush. (I was thinking tools perhaps. Silly me.)

It's a great business idea. People who don't care where they buy petunias go out of their way to shop where they get bucks. They return toward the end of the season to spend bucks on junk the nursery could not sell.

This time, we got lucky. My wife picked out a magnolia tree that was over $100. We paid less than $40 because she had so many bucks to spend. That means I got to plant a rather large tree on Sunday. Our soil is rocky, and this takes a bit of effort. I even screened the soil to remove the rocks before it went back in the hole. (I didn't need dynamite, but it was close.) (Also, can I get some bucks for a back massage and some muscle relaxers?)

Immediately after finishing it was time to clean up, and dress up. We made a mad dash to The Morrison Center to watch The Book of Mormon. This is the Broadway play that was put together by the fellows who brought us South Park. We wound up getting there about fifteen minutes late because a stoplight was out.

Sometimes even I get lucky. So many patrons were blocked by the light that they held up the curtain. All was well. The play was hilarious. We grabbed a sandwich and a beer on the way home, and that about did it for me.

Tomorrow, we have tickets to the final tour for Motley Crüe. My wife is way excited, but I saw them live before I ever met her. They will be excellent, and I'm not worried about being bored. I'm looking forward to Alice Cooper who is also part of the bill. I've never seen him perform, and always wanted to.

We almost never buy tickets to the big stuff. It's kind of once per year, or less. It just so happens this year we have tickets to two events in three days. If I consider the play as last year's event, and the concert as this year's event, can I go to something fun again next summer?

Oddly enough, I need a tie for work tomorrow. Sunday, I went from shorts and a tee shirt to putting on a tie for the play. Tomorrow, I'll rush home to get rid of the tie and pull on shorts and a tee shirt.

So I was a slacker in blogland. I may have missed a post or two that I should have read. I didn't write, edit, or promote a darned thing. I had a pretty good time though. I may even see some interesting people to make up stories about tomorrow.

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