Tag Archives: introvert

Introvert Hell

Take a perfectly adult household. Invite everyone for Thanksgiving. Let the fun begin.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are here. They brought their two small dogs with them. Otto and Frankie want to play. The little dogs don’t. Honestly, Otto takes a crap that’s bigger than these dogs are every morning. I don’t want him to break them.

My son came over, and brought our grandson at about 9:00. He’s making the turkey on his fancy-schmancy smoker. It takes some watching, so he has to stay. Old What’s Her Face gave our grandson a gaming console that apparently has to be turned up to full volume.

Add in the fact that my brother-in-law insists on watching 12 hours of football. What I mean by that is the TV must be on, but nobody is even watching it. In fact, he isn’t even in the room right now. Add football to the gaming console as far as noise goes. Note: My team doesn’t play today.

But wait, there’s more. My daughter is here and brought Jackson, the cat. I’d kind of like to see Jackson, he grew up here before he moved to Sun Valley. However, he’s been running for his life because the tiny dogs want to get him. This means Otto and Frankie have to chase the little dogs. Put all of that on my hard-surface floors, and it creates quite a din.

There is also the nearly constant calling out of dog names. Mostly the little dogs, but imagine a harsh voice saying the same word over and over and over and over and over and…

My daughter-in-law just arrived with the rest of the grandkids. Oh, by the way, they brought their dog with them. He is an Airedale mix of some kind. I’ll be shocked if we don’t wind up with at least one dead pet by the end of the night. Also the tiny dogs like to bark at the new arrival.

My daughter’s friend is also showing up, but I don’t think she’s bringing pets. Same thing for my son’s mother-in-law. They really don’t play into this story.

Imagine a group of people surrounding me, and they’re all honking airhorns at me. Add in some arguing and barking, along with a video game soundtrack at full volume, and you get a fair idea of how I feel.

I’m actually writing this before dinner, and while they are all here. It gives me some focus and a bit of a breather.

It may not sound like it, but I love these people. Hell, I even like their pets. I had some great one-on-one conversations with a few of them before the mob showed up. As an introvert, it is about all I can handle, but I’m being a trooper.

I think I’d like to have Thanksgiving somewhere else next year. I can handle this stuff for hours, but eventually I can go home.

Let the celebration begin, and by that I mean drinking.

Oh, and not for nothing, I went to bed about 11:30 last night. I had to raise dough and make my rolls. The dogs started barking at house guests at 6:00 AM. Kind of a sleep deprived state to add to the mix.

Bonus, I gave my entire department tomorrow off. That means I have to work tomorrow. It’s not my first Thanksgiving/Black Friday.

Update. Two beers later and things are looking better. This stuff is 9% alcohol by volume, so that’s a bonus. New Belgium Oakspire, Bourbon Barrel Aged ale using Knob Creek barrels.

Advertisements

55 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Ahh, the holidays

I’m the poster boy for introverts. I swear these holidays are going to kill me.

Company arrived on Wednesday. They’re still here, and they brought their dogs.

Thanksgiving day we had twelve of us, and my son’s family also brought their dog. I mention this, because we just put in a new hard-surface floor. Doggie feet are loud on it. My dogs tend to take the occasional nap… but not when there are other dogs around.

There are three doors to get outside my house, and on Thanksgiving day they were all in use. (Think grandchildren here.) My son deep fried our turkey outside, and the kids were in and out in some kind of revolving door situation. I didn’t want my dogs out front, because they aren’t familiar with cars and streets. This meant a constant checking every time the doors opened. Add in the fact that (doing higher math, bear with me) ninety doggie toenails clicked across the floor every time someone touched a doorknob.

My brother in law likes to rough house with the bulldogs. In his defense, he doesn’t have large dogs at home so it’s kind of unique. Roughhousing at six AM is not quite what I want when I wake up.

Working at a small government office yesterday was kind of a godsend. It was calm and quiet. I think I had one telephone call all day and managed to get some long suffering paperwork finished.

Last night we all went to dinner together. This included my son’s family too. It was nice, but the Black Friday crowd made for long waits. We even paid valet parking at the shopping center because it was that busy. Five bucks was much nicer than forty minutes of cruising followed by a half-mile walk.

Today, the in-laws and my wife went shopping. I’m here with the four dogs and my other son. He’s upstairs doing his prescription opioid addiction problem right now. He’s snapping his fingers and slapping his chest all while swearing and hollering in an argument with someone who isn’t actually there. Before you ask, he doesn’t have an internet capable device, so he isn’t playing a game online.

It’s still noisy here.

I managed to prepare and send out one shtick for Lisa Burton Radio. I want to do a couple of others, but we’ll see how I hold up. These things don’t write themselves, and I need to keep the line moving. I also assembled and scheduled a guest post I agreed to host.

I finally got five minutes to debate women’s dress sizes with my favorite consultant, my daughter. Then I incorporated some small changes to The Hat. I also heard from my last beta reader for this project, and he seems to have enjoyed the story. He said notes are coming, so I’m watching my mailbox.

On a “just for Craig” basis, I wrote a little new fiction. I don’t even know what to call it, but it’s one of those pages that goes between the copyright page and chapter one. It isn’t really a dedication, so that word doesn’t fit. It’s more of a definition. It’s part of the story and helps folks understand what’s going on.

I also wrote the opening paragraphs and stopped early on purpose. My goal was just to start. This also means I started a separate “cast of characters” sheet which I always make. Starting a couple of paragraphs is always a bigger effort than it sounds.

Here is my thing that comes before the story. I am considering italics and squeezing the margins, just to make it stand out.

Estivation: In times of environmental stress, some species are known to estivate. They slow down their breathing, heart rate, and intake of food and water. Estivation occurs under times of excessive heat; whereas, hibernation occurs under times of extreme cold. The processes are similar, in that resources are limited or non-existent. When the situation improves, these creatures leave estivation and go about their normal lives.

So what do you call a page like this one? Does it intrigue you to read on? Now all I have to do is write the story. (And survive the holidays… or become a super-villain.)

43 Comments

Filed under Writing

Ahhhhhhh…

Most of the family just left. My daughter, her best friend, and the friend's baby are still here. It's starting to feel calm now.

We had both our sons, our daughter-in-law, and three grandkids for several hours. There was so much food that we're all stuffed. Leftovers abound for tomorrow.

If you're not an introvert you'll never understand, but we can be good in crowds. It's easier when you have familiarity with those in the crowd. There comes a time when you need the silence to recharge your batteries. That's where I am right now.

Christmas was wonderful, and everyone seemed like they received some very nice gifts. I particularly like my new Doc Marten shoes, a stoneware baking pan, and leather card wallet.

As nice as Christmas is, I'm glad to be finished with it. I enjoy a day or two of Christmas music, but over two months gets to be a little much. Maybe now we can retire the Hallmark Channel for another year. I won't miss all those advertisements that indicate everyone else is getting diamonds and automobiles for Christmas, and therefore I'm a slacker.

We've had cartoons on all day for the grandkids. I may need to watch some chainsaw massacres to balance my emotions out.

The Lisa & Bunny Christmas card post was well received. I may have to consider another one next year.

I don't know if I can steal any editing or writing time tomorrow, but I'd like to. How did Santa Claus treat everyone in Blogland?

30 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Back on the Soapbox

My bachelor weekend is almost over. I went to the writing cabin early with a few goals in mind. I want to make some headway on the next Dresden Files novel, and to edit more of Arson.

My main character in Arson is a firefighter who loses everything. Others take control to help guide him. He’s at the point where he must stay the course to see some kind of Justice served, even if he doesn’t have all the skills he needs. It’s a point of no return. He’s my afternoon plan.

I settled into my office and Lisa* brought round some coffee and mini muffins. I dug into Harry Dresden with relish. There’s just something about winged monkeys throwing flaming poo, you know.

I found myself rereading sections. It isn’t Butcher’s fault, he a great writer. I was distracted. I had a conversation with my daughter yesterday that stuck in my gizzard.

“Lisa! Bring me the soapbox,” I yelled.

“Right away, boss. It’s in the basement,” she said.

Her rushed steps reverberated through the cabin as she left her upstairs room and rushed to the basement. She tromped in wearing heels, those tight knee length jeans, and a bathrobe.

“Don’t you put the shoes on last?” I asked.

“No. Nobody taught me any protocol on how to get dressed. You’ve never complained about my work attire.”

“Good point.”

She placed the soapbox in the middle of the office floor and went to finish dressing.

image

Here I go again

My daughter is 20 years old. She hasn’t been in the workforce that long, but she still has the first job she ever had, and has worked as many as three places at once. She holds three jobs, she doesn’t work them at the same time. She’s the kid who comes to work; rain, snow, piss or blow. She pulls extra shifts and covers people who call in sick. These are mall jobs, and she’s set a few sales benchmarks at a couple stores. In other words, she’s a good employee.

She’s into clothes and cosmetics. She’s starting beauty school in a couple of weeks. When she found out that Lush cosmetics was opening a store here she was manic.

She called them and explained how she’d been ordering their products for years and loved them. She’s very familiar with their line and can talk knowledgeably about it. They made an appointment for an interview, and for a sales lead job too.

She got dressed and fixed herself up for the appointment. It turned out to be a group interview. She said that’s kind of common in retail, but was shocked to find twenty people there. She said there’s usually about five. Lush held three such sessions that day too.

They started off by asking if anyone knew anything about Lush cosmetics. She said it turned into some kind of Jerry Springer fiasco with everyone shouting over everyone else. She doesn’t play that game and sat patiently, and professionally.

They wanted them to split into groups. One group had to role play between customer and salesperson, while the rest of that group critiqued what they saw. She said the critiques were catty and insulting.

She wound up in the drawing group. They were told to draw a picture of how they were feeling today. The drawings were going to be presented and critiqued too. Then the groups were going to switch. She doodled on her page for a bit and walked out. They asked what she was doing and she told them, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

She explained it to me this way. There is no situation where any sales people are going to have to draw while on shift. She knows it’s an assessment tool, but it proves nothing. It doesn’t show salesmanship, knowledge, or work ethic. The role playing had a smack of reality TV, including being booted off the island. She felt like the human beings who showed up were being made to dance like puppets on a string.

I don’t know about you, but I’m open to new ways of doing things. I appreciate that getting through about 60 or so applicants might require some creativity. Isn’t that what resumes and applications are for? Interview the ten or so that look the best on paper.

Assess their skills using some role playing. The interviewer can play bad customer. I just don’t get it.

I’m sure Lush will open on time, and stock their shelves with products my daughter genuinely loves. They’ll have a full sales staff of extroverts who love attention, and possibly a lot of drama based upon what my daughter saw.

What they won’t have is one introvert who’s a lot like her old man. They won’t have the kid who loves the product and uses it herself. They won’t have the girl who set a few sales records. They won’t have the dedicated employee who goes to work despite the weather, bloating and cramps, and last minute invitations from friends.

I don’t get it at all. This reality competition interview process should have failed at the beta stage. I’m sure they’ll land a few decent employees, but I doubt they’ll get all that many. In around 13 years American Idol managed to find two legitimate stars. They only went through about a billion hopefuls to do it.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’m back to my scheduled plan.

* Lisa is the main character in Wild Concept. She’s a robot and works for me at the writing cabin these days.

12 Comments

Filed under Muse, Uncategorized