Tag Archives: Holy crap this stuff’s expensive

Giant Nuclear Lizard and Bed Bath and Beyond

I started my day off poisoning weeds for Old What’s Her Face*. It was supposed to be a day of yard work. I insist on bathing after spraying poison, and intended to move on to trimming roses and spreading fertilizer.

She suggested going to the movies and stopping to get some new towels on the way home. It was presented as, “Now that you’re all cleaned up…”

We went to Godzilla, which I have always loved since the black and white versions. It’s kind of a trope today, but Godzilla was what created the trope. It was the original. (King Kong is older, but it was a different kind of tale.)

I expected some changes to the story, but I also thought it might be a nice change up. The changes didn’t add all that much to the tale. Mostly, Godzilla has grown some since he conquered Manhattan over a decade ago.

My disappointment is mostly in spending more time with two giant nuclear cockroaches. Wasn’t the name of the movie Godzilla? I mean there were any number of Godzilla vs. whatever movies, and that’s what this really was.

There was a mistake here and there. When he makes his first appearance, in Hawaii, he causes a tidal wave. Why was there no tidal wave in San Francisco?

I’m not disappointed with the big guy being the hero this time out. He always did split his time between hero and villain. I thought the news banner about Godzilla saving the city was kind of stupid. The cockroaches did less damage than he did.

Hollywood seems to think there is no ordinance between rocket propelled grenades and nuclear missiles. Just once, I’d like to see someone drop a daisy cutter on a giant cockroach, no nukes required. Maybe that would have rendered Godzilla unnecessary. There was little enough of him as it is.

I liked the way they touched upon him being a force of nature. They missed the standard sermon about how we caused all this. I can’t help myself, I still like Godzilla. It’s almost like they can’t screw it up, I just want more. I have to say that it wasn’t a great Godzilla movie, but it was a Godzilla movie.

We left the theater and went straight to Bed Bath and Beyond. We matched colors on bath towels, compared softness and size. Then we needed wash rags and hand towels to fit the scheme. Add in a new garbage can, toothbrush holder and soap dish. Then we needed to redo the half bath downstairs. (One of those things my wife saves until we’re in the store). More towels and rugs went into the basket.

We couldn’t leave without a few “isn’t that cool” items. The old pit bull scored a new squeaky toy (which he’s already killed). I nearly fainted at the checkout stand. I never thought this stuff was so valuable. I wonder if I should call my insurance provider and tell him to include new towels on our policy.

So we have a pretty new bathroom decor, and did it for about the same price as a weekend at the coast. Maybe this is why wives usually do this without their husbands present. I’m off to look for Godzilla on one of the classic movie channels.

* Not my wife’s real name.

PS: If any of you would like to buy one of my books, I’m sure Bed Bath and Beyond would appreciate it. (We need to go back for one more rug.)


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