Ugh!

Today was my flex day. This is usually the time I can get my word count up, but it just didn’t work out that way. Most of this is a personality flaw, and I readily admit that.

My errand for the day was to go to the bank and make a deposit. I got up at 5:00, and the bank opens at 9:00. What do you think I did for all that time in between? Nothing even remotely productive. Nada, zero.

I checked email, social media, read some blogs. Never even tried to write. See, I have to multi-task at my paycheck job. On my time, I’m damned well going to have things my way. I’d rather fail completely than have an interruption during the process. There probably aren’t many of you who understand, but that’s who I am. I could have hacked out a couple thousand words in that time, but I’m not exactly hurting for word count in 2019. If I don’t write another word all year, it’s already a record year for me.

When I got home, I sent off everything to my formatter. My goal is to have everything perfect for a mid September release of Viral Blues. Sean is still working on some promotional posters, and it’s looking pretty good timing wise.

If I’m ready early, I might even consider a pre-order situation. I’ve done them in the past with mixed results. Does anyone have any current data on whether they provide an advantage? Amazon is a moving target, and what worked yesterday might not work today.

After I took care of all that, did I write? Nope. Because I’ve already burned a major portion of the day, and what remained wasn’t worth it to me.

Sadly, the way the flex schedule works is that my day next week is Friday. That’s a long stretch between days, and I’ll have to lament this lost day for two weeks now.

I spent some time on Pinterest, and got one of those weird suggestions that turns into a rabbit trail. It’s called Bad Taxidermy. Nobody else will probably understand, but I laughed so hard tears flowed down my cheeks. Frankie the bulldog jumped in my lap and was worried for me. She probably should be, but not because I was in distress. I won’t share any images here, first because you might not be as strange as I am, and second because they are someone else’s property.

Back to work tomorrow, where I will probably be multi-tasking, but they pay me do to so.

Right now, I have a hankering for a fresh peach, but it will probably be another day or two. These never seem to be ready on my day off either.

Goofed off all weekend

I posted on Friday about my minuscule word count, and how Otto was demanding attention. I also mentioned the eagle, but have no idea what he's about yet. There are some big goings on at work this week, and maybe he has something to do with that.

My wife and I went to Costco for date night. Okay, we went to dinner, but we chose the restaurant based on its proximity to Costco.

I spent a considerable amount of time playing video games with my son. I got an X-Box for Christmas, and haven't really done anything with it. He and I don't do much together, and we both had a good time.

Do I regret not working on my novel? Not really. I spend mountains of time on writing, and if I goof off for a couple of days – so be it. It will all get finished.

The next small project is invading my dreams now. It's screaming for attention, and that's where I have to be concerned. A bunch of nearly complete projects don't help me at all. I need to finish Yak Guy, and the ending should be fulfilling. I'm looking forward to writing it, but goofed off anyway.

I need to hold off on the small projects until I get through the editing phase of two books. I also need to put some thought into my promotions too.

I spent a big chunk of the morning getting our tax stuff bundled up for the accountant. It's always an eye opener to see how much I spend on self publishing compared to what I make. I'm looking forward to a day when I can break even.

I hope all of you enjoyed a good weekend. I did, and I feel like I deserved it too.

Something cheesy

I’m writing this on Tuesday night, and scheduling it for tomorrow. Wednesday is one of my regular nights, and I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

When I first started writing, I was jealous of movie makers and rock video style. They can cover a lot of story without many words. Music, audio, and visuals are pretty strong. It doesn’t bother me these days, because I’ve learned a few things along the way. Still, it’s fun to play on occasion.

I decided to play with the idea using Lisa the robot girl. I chose her, because more blog followers are familiar with her than my other characters. This is my idea of the opening credits of the Lisa Burton movie.

The scene is the Atlantic Robotics laboratory. Industrial music is the theme for now, combined with tool noise, like hydraulic wrenches and such. A row of lab geeks are working on various robotic parts. They are wearing lab coats etc.

One is polishing a shoulder joint with a fine whetstone. Another is connecting computer hardware together. The third has a tongue in combination with some fancy computer hardware. She drips something on the tongue, and a computer readout details what the substance is complete with molecular drawings. To show the passage of time, a speedy motion of the shadows moves across the workbench.

During all this, credits are flashing in the corners. Another day is demonstrated in similar fashion. This time the robotic parts are mostly assembled. The tongue is attached to the throat, and someone bolts on a metallic jaw full of very human looking teeth.

New scene in the white lab. We see someone in a full hazmat suit stitching the hydroponic layer over a robotic battle chassis. The chassis is covered with a sequence of small empty bladders in the approximate layout of muscles. This person takes a roll of (genetically modified) human skin from of a tube of red goop and places it over the robot. This person swabs collagen glue over the seams and wipes the seams smooth.

The next scene shows a frail looking skin and robotics entity sitting up on a gurney. It’s bald, barefoot, and wearing a paper gown. The skin hangs loosely over the mechanical parts. Break the music for a bit of dialog. The robot answers in a very electronic male voice. The supervisor directs the scientists to give it a female voice.

The robot’s trainer/handler leads it to an office and tosses it an old tee shirt and jeans. She instructs the robot to choose a voice while taking on a petroleum product to fill up the bladders. The music picks up again.

The robot walks into a special room with extremely bright heat lamps. The oil is somewhere between a grease and a wax, and flows in the heat. The handler lady hooks it to a computer using a wire in the umbilical. Cue a scene of the oil filling a body part. Nothing nasty here, maybe a long beautiful neck taking shape via inflation.

Next view is the lead scientist and the handler lady outside the door of the heat room. The music changes to a rocking guitar solo. I like the one from Blue Collar Man.

The door slowly opens, and the lights are blinding. There is steam, because I can and it has a cool effect on the bright lights.

Lisa steps out of the heat room. The tee shirt and jeans are too tight in all the right places. Maybe there is a bit of bare midriff. She’s still bald at this point. She’s more robot than human right now and her dialog reflects this, but the voice is a moderately deep sexy female.

She says, “It would complete the illusion of my humanity if you would start calling me Lisa Burton.”

***

Why did I write this? I have no idea. I’m not jealous of the movie and video crowd any longer. Maybe it would be cool if you introduced one of your characters using movie credits or a music video. If you link here in the comments I’ll read it.

Im going on an overnight field trip for my paycheck job. I might not be able to respond to comments until I get back. Have fun with this idea and share with all of us.

Are you jealous of the music video/movie tools as a writer. Is this a normal progression for a writer?

Reminder: there will be a new Lisa Burton story in The Experimental Notebook of C. S. Boyack. If you’re new here, you can get a free Lisa Burton paper doll by clicking on “Look, Free Stuff” at the top of this page. (Okay, you can get one even if you’re not new here. My regulars all know about this already.)

A little slacking off

I didn’t get a whole lot accomplished today. I started my day reading your blogs. Imagine my excitement to see Karen O.’s wonderful review of Will O’ the Wisp. I reblogged it, then became a sloth.

I read some of my short stories and improved the prose a little. I exchanged emails with a few people who offered to interview me on their blogs. Some things we have to keep up with.

I also booked my Will O’ the Wisp blog tour. It will begin in early April sometime. That means I have a bit more proofreading to do on the upcoming posts.

I should have written. I also should have pruned the one remaining tree that needs it. I just vegged out. I watched a few old episodes of The Twilight Zone. I’ll finish with a beer while catching up with The Walking Dead, and may read a bit before bedtime.

I suppose I accomplished some things, but it was just one of those days. Go ahead and shame me with all your accomplishments in the comments. Some days I need to step away from it all. Did anyone do something fun today?

Okay, goofing off

I know Wednesday is one of my regular posting days. I’ve been goofing off, and didn’t even get my critique work finished.

Why! Sharknado II, of course. This is one of the worst movies ever made. It’s bad on purpose. I want to see it again.

It comes complete with dozens of celebrity cameos. Everything in it is unrealistic. Everything except for the fact they pumped Tara Reid full of painkillers and they didn’t phase her at all. That part seemed pretty realistic.

I may stay up until midnight to watch it again.

Time to goof off, in a wibbly wobbly timey wimey way.

Lorelei sent me an email today. She told me to have my assistant, Lisa the robot, meet me at the writing cabin. She set up interviews with supporting characters for my new story. I need some friend characters and a bunch of “townies”.

I emailed back and said, not this weekend. It’s time for me to do something else. I may have some time on Sunday, but on Saturday I have plans. I’m spending Saturday watching Dr. Who, leading up to the 50th anniversary show.

Lorelei’s okay with it. She’s bringing a growler of porter and pizza. Fish sticks and custard are more appropriate, but not quite as tasty.

She sent me a selfie in her River Song getup. “Hello sweetie, see you Saturday.”

Some weekends you just have to indulge yourself. Apparently, Muses do too.