Working on the other stuff

It’s another zero writing of new fiction weekend for me. There are a lot of reasons, and I’m not going to complain about them here. It seems my only option for writing time is to leave the house and go somewhere quiet. I hate the idea of being away from my coffee pot and bathroom for that long, but it could be possible.

I may get a couple of hours next week some time. If I do, I’ll try to make the best of them.

Sprinklers needed some work around here too. I am not a tool guy and never have been. My talents lie elsewhere. I’ve done everything I can, and it’s time to bring in an expert. If I can set things up for after payday it would be perfect. I’m trying to preserve enough money for a work trip to Lewiston.

I can take advantage of continental breakfast at my hotel, and there is a lunch provided one day. I’m still going to need enough gasoline to get home, so I’m trying to be conservative.

Today I tried to work ahead on Story Empire posts. My series on story structure ends Monday, so I hope you’ll all show up. I’ll have to remember to add the back links to the older posts in the series.

I decided to add some expansion packs in my next few posts over there. You know how popular video games sometimes release an expansion pack, that’s the term I’m stealing. The first one will be about fairytale structure. I have it roughed out, and a couple of weeks to polish it up.

There are at least two others I want to include in future posts. They work in conjunction with the hero’s journey, or whatever other structure you might be using. They aren’t required, but could enhance your story. That’s why I’m calling them expansion packs.

I may work ahead on them tomorrow too. That way I feel like I’m being productive, even if it isn’t what I want to be working on. Sometimes working ahead helps clear my slate so I can get more done when I finally score a good writing day.

Tickets to see the new Avengers movie tomorrow. Hope all of you are having a great weekend.

Trying to get to the next level.

The bedroom is all painted. The furniture has been reassembled and put back in place. Our company is headed for Nevada. It was fun seeing them again. We went out to dinner a couple of times. It’s the least I could do, since they did all the work while I was at the paycheck job.

We hit one nice restaurant Friday night. Last night we went to a brewpub called The Ram. We got seated just as the Boise State game was looking grim. My brother in law decided to cheer for New Mexico. He really doesn’t care, but likes annoying people. We managed to eat and escape with our lives. Truth is, he’s a Nevada Wolfpack fan. (BSU won)

I managed to coil up and store the hoses, but still need to change the furnace filter.

I headed for the writing cabin. I’m not going to get a thing done with fiction, but I have a lot of correspondence and bills to catch up on. I grabbed coffee and slipped into my office unnoticed.

I made a pile of paid bills on the floor when Iris*, the fairy rode in. She was mounted upon one of the enchanted beer horns. The other one ran behind waiting for its turn. They skidded to a stop in a flurry of torn receipts and invoices.

“What’s going on here?” I asked.

“Still can’t fly. I’d head for home, but I’ve got a bad wing. It’s easy enough to avoid your carnivorous plants now that I know where they are. Those things are catching mice like crazy.”

“Good. You can’t leave anyway. We got The Cock of the South published, but I have more projects you can help me with.”

“Alright, help me up to the desk and we’ll get started.” I lifted her up to the working surface.

“Not just yet. We have to get some publicity stuff ready, but we can wait until next weekend to start.”

The slow clacking of heels made its way down the hall. The beer horns stood either side of the door at attention. Lisa** sauntered in and the horns trumpeted her arrival. She wore a white miniskirt with a polka dot top and matching polka dot pumps. She had on a pair of those big sunglasses, and cradled Bunny in her left arm like Hollywood starlets carry around a little dog. She strolled up to one of my chairs, sat down, put her heels on my desk, and steepled her fingers.

My jaw dropped open and I brilliantly said, “Um, Hi Lisa. What’s up?”

She coolly removed her sunglasses and hung them between her breasts, flipping her hair as she turned toward me. “So, are you ready to start my sequel now?”

“You saw that blog post, didn’t you?”

“Yup. A major book reviewer called me the most impressive character of 2014.”

“You earned it too, but I told you I’m not writing any sequels unless my sales justify them. Sales are slow in coming. Remember, I published my first story in February, 2014. That hasn’t been very long. Give it time. I expect all the books to sell better once I have a few more titles out. People seem to read more in the Winter too. It’s just starting to get cold in the Northern hemisphere.”

She pointed at me. Even her nails were polka dotted. Her head tilted to the side as she said, “I think that’s bullshit. You need to be ready ahead of time.”

“I have more stuff nearly ready. Remember Will ‘O the Wisp? Besides, maybe it’ll be the story Iris appears in that takes off big time.”

“God! You’re so hard headed. I work like a dog around here and what thanks do I get. I’m not a machine, you know.”

“Actually, you are a machine, and I love that about you. That’s part of what makes you the most interesting character. I’m working hard too. Remember, you get free room and board, plus scenes in my blog. There’s even paid vacation, remember Vegas?”

“Maybe it’s time to use a bit more of that vacation.”

“The time’s available whenever you want it. Besides, you might not survive a sequel. Maybe I’ll write a tragedy.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You never know. Tragedies can be really good stories.”

“I don’t want to be in a tragedy. I want to be a heroine again. I want to solve something, help someone, overcome something.”

“Maybe you should appear in one of my micro fiction pieces. I’ll probably have more Macabre Macaroni next year.”

“That’s a year away. That’s longer than I’ve been living at the cabin. Maybe there should be a Lisa Burton Christmas story.”

“Maybe, or maybe we should do another promotional event. Your giveaway worked out really well. We cracked the top 100 for a little bit. The story Iris appears in, The Cock of the South, is somewhere in the mid seventies for its genre. That kind of thing helps.”

She crossed her arms over Bunny, and he snuggled deeper into her lap. Her eyes glanced toward the ceiling. “Fine.”

“Alright, we’ll brainstorm something together. Let’s head for the kitchen and fill up these beer horns. Iris, do you have your drinking acorn cap?”

Iris made a fist and saluted by thumping it over her heart. She whistled and the beer horns came running; honking all the way.

*Iris is a fairy. She has a supporting role in The Cock of the South

**Lisa is the main character in Wild Concept. She is a robot and helps me around the cabin these days. Bunny is her pet rabbit.

Let’s get ready for fantasy

Lisa* texted me, “It’s getting colder and the mice are invading the cabin.”

That’s all it took to motivate me. I told her to dress for the outdoors. She met me in the basement of the writing cabin. She had on cargo shorts and hiking boots along with a khaki shirt she tied around her waist. It noticeably highlighted certain features.

I handed her a pack frame, a selection of old pots, and a shovel. “I’ll need a sandwich too.”

“So what are you doing?” she asked.

“Just waiting on you.”

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

“Look, I’m an old fat guy. You’re the robot, and I’ve seen you lift about eight hundred pounds like it was nothing.”

She grabbed an old pith helmet from the shelf and pulled her hair back before placing it on her head. “So your solution to the mouse problem is gardening?”

“Carnivorous plants. There’s a nice spring a few miles from here where some good mousers grow. It’s still Indian Summer and it should be a nice day.”

We picked up a game trail near the same beaver dam where we set off our flash bombs a week or two ago. A few buffalo tracks showed up, but nothing scary.

Lisa pointed, “What’s that?” A slowly moving hill of grass moved from side to side. “I don’t like your imagination sometimes. All kind of weird crap lives in your forest. I like things I can Google.”

“Buffalo grass. Check it out with your ultraviolet and infrared. I sure don’t want one of us to wind up like that buffalo.”

“Seriously? There are plants out here big enough to eat a buffalo?”

“You should see the snapdragons.”

We followed the trail and listened to the migrating geese high overhead. Brilliant yellows from the aspens mingled with the green of pines. Squirrels ran back and forth in an attempt to cache as much food as possible.

The bog was covered with good sized mousers. “Time for my sandwich,” I said. “Dig a few up while I eat.”

Lisa pushed her helmet back with one finger and looked at me. “How do I pick a good one?”

I wandered over near the spring and showed her the right plant.

She snatched a pod off one and said, “This one has a leg sticking out of it.” She tore the pod apart and dropped a fairy on the mossy ground. The fairy was dark with a shock of thick brunette hair.

“Iris**, Is that you?” I knelt down.

“She isn’t moving.”

“I picked her up and shook her back and forth.”

Iris sucked in air and yelled, “Stop, stop! Haven’t you ever heard of shaken fairy syndrome?”

I sat her back down. She rolled in the moss and moaned. “It burns, it’s burning me.”

“It’s the digestive fluid.” I grabbed her and dunked her into the spring up to my elbow, rinsing her side to side. Then I placed her back on the moss.

Iris coughed and sputtered. “Thanks, I think. Those damned things look like a flower full of drinking water.”

One of the plants turned toward her and opened its trap wide. Its stamens wiggled back and forth, tasting the air around it. Iris pulled a tiny sword and started toward it.

I placed a hand between them. “I need them with traps.” I unwrapped my PBJ and sat on a log. “What are you doing way out here?”

“Looking for you. Cobby said to help you out, he’s too busy to come right now.”

“Typical dwarf. They’re always too busy. I’m publishing The Cock of the South soon and need you to check some facts. Why don’t you fly on out to the cabin. Lisa will be done soon and we’ll head back.”

“Can’t. I pulled some muscles in my back.” She wobbled her wasp-like wings. You’ll have to carry me.”

Lisa plopped one of the mousers into a pot and glared at me. “These things better not hurt Bunny.”

“If one of them gets big enough to eat Bunny, I’m going to be scared. Make sure he doesn’t nibble on my plants either. Dig up one for each office and one for the front and back doors.”

Lisa finished her potting and lashed everything to her pack frame. She shouldered her load and adjusted the straps.

I picked up Iris and sat her on Lisa’s pith helmet. “There you go. Let’s hurry up now, I want to set them out before dark tonight.”

* Lisa is the main character in Wild Concept. She’s a robot and helps me around the cabin these days. She’s obsessive about her pet rabbit, Bunny.

** Iris the fairy is a supporting character in The Cock of the South. Coming soon to a Kindle near you.

This is not a book review blog, but…

There are so many bloggers out there with book reviews. It’s their thing, and they do it well. I don’t want to step on their toes. Sometimes though, you just find something that’s really good.

On Thursday I had some appointments, one to get my truck serviced, and a plan to stop by Chuck’s Barber Shop. For you kids out there, barbers are where we used to go for haircuts, prior to hairdressers taking over. A cluster of men wait their turn while everyone tells filthy jokes.

I knew Peterson Toyota would take about an hour, so I took my book with me. I managed forty five minutes of reading time, but they were pretty fast. They rotated my tires and washed it as part of the deal. I swear I spent longer at the barber shop.

What all this means is that I didn’t finish my book. I wanted to dedicate Friday to my own book, so I turned off all distractions and read like a madman. (A whole lot like a madman.)

This wasn’t just a reading death march. I read half a book in one evening, because it was that good.

I liked the posts Ali Issac made about her Conor Kelly books. The story sounded intriguing. I’m not one to start a series in the middle, so I bought Conor Kelly and the Four Treasures of Eirean.

Ali published Conor Kelly and the Fenian King this week. She’s smarter than I am, because she already had reviews lined up, and a small blog tour is going on right now.

For brevity, I call them Conor the first, and Conor the second. (Also for spelling sanity.) In the interest of full disclosure, Ali is a blogging friend of mine. Her outstanding blog is here. You should also check it out.

Conor the first is just a great book. It’s all about the mythology of Ireland, with it’s historic landmarks and fairies. The story is awesome too. Add them together and it was just an outstanding book.

Ali has been to all of these historic sites and blogs about them regularly. Her depictions of them in the book are vivid and genuine. I encourage my readers to check out the Conor Kelly books on Amazon. I made it easy and included links.

Note: while you’re logged into Amazon, my new book, Arson is available as of today.

I posted a five star review on Amazon, and you can read it there, because this is not a book review blog.