Tag Archives: fairies

Foul is Fair, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Coming at you with one point twenty-one jigawatts of power, this is Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and with me in the studio is Ashling, a pixie from An Teach Deiridh. “Welcome to the show, Ashling.”

“Thank you for having me and for accommodating my service crow. Say hello, Count.”

‘Caw.’

“I find it odd that you’re from a fairy castle, but choose to spend the bulk of your time in Seattle. What’s so cool about Seattle?”

“Well, for one thing, there’s the Fremont Troll, and I totally know the guy who was the model for that, true story. Then there’s the football, and the fact that I first met the Count in Olympic National Park, not long before my wings got hurt, but really, one goes where the job leads. So really the main quality of Seattle most related to my spending so much time there these past couple decades is the local music scene and, specifically, a certain beautiful redheaded bass player in the late ‘90s. She and my employer, well, the relationship didn’t really end all that well, but it was fun while it lasted, apparently, and they got Megan out of it. Good kid, Megan. Likes art. Her father never really made it back to Seattle once he left, so she’s kinda been my super top secret charge.”

“Wait a minute. You have a job in Seattle? You mentioned your employer and your charge. Can you tell our listeners a little about that arrangement?”

“You ever try to keep a secret in the Faerie castle of An Teach Deiridh? It is not easy. Not even when the secret’s over in the mortal realm. And it’s not like the mortal realm is super safe anyway. Consider the odds that now that they’ve figured out cockroach mind-control, jewel wasps are clearly planning their next steps in world domination.

“So here I’ve been, flitting back and forth, trying to keep Megan safe and secret. And this is working in an environment where 90% of people look at a pixie and only see a butterfly. Very good for keeping a low profile, although as usual, my disability makes it a little complicated, because even your average human might blink a little at seeing a butterfly perch on the back of a crow to fly. But as usual, we make it work.”

“Now back to Megan, you called her your charge. Who gave you this mission?”

“That would be my employer, the Unseelie King. And the whole mission’s been disrupted ever since he’s gone missing. Ambushed. The kidnapping’s also led to the secret getting out somehow about Megan. Kinda couldn’t wait anymore to start talking to her about her heritage. Barely solved the medication issue – did you know that overdosing on too much ADHD medication can interfere with focusing one’s magical heritage? Little-known fact. I knew, of course. It’s my job to know these things. But anyway, barely dealt with getting her medication back to normal when she’s attacked by a redcap. In broad daylight. In Seattle. That’s An Teach Deiridh politics for you. Seelie, Unseelie—nearly everyone’s working an angle and a weapon. And we’ve got to get the king back. We especially need to get him back by Halloween, when it all gets even more complicated, and Megan’s so new at this, she literally had to ask if her dad was ‘80s David Bowie… I’m telling you, Lisa, my plate is pretty full at the moment … Count, when did I last eat?”

‘Caw’

Of course that counts as a meal. ‘Pixie’ was right there in the name, so it must be good for me…”

“Stay with me here Ashling, don’t crash just yet. Have some M & Ms, lots of sugar there. So the drama over at An Teach Deiridh is getting in the way of your mission with Megan? Who’s left defending the palace?”

“Oh, plenty of people say they’re defending An Teach Deiridh. Sidhe, bane sidhe, trolls, redcaps, pixies, sprites. Of course, even though the castle is primarily associated with Irish and British faeries, we’ve actually got Fairy Folk from origin-cultures around the world. Scandinavia, for instance, or Greece. We’re very cosmopolitan.

“Megan’s BFF is one of the menehune, the Hawaiian engineering faeries, and let me tell you, it’s nice to have it clear a few people are definitely on your side in all this politics. She’s also got an in on some arrangements to keep an eye on Megan’s mother through all this mess. I can’t do everything myself.”

“So what has to happen to get the king back home and set everything back to normal?”

“Well, word is, there’s an artifact that may help get him out of the mess. The Claiomh Solais, the Sword of Light. Thing is, nobody just hands you the Sword of Light. It’s always on the other side of a quest. Very quest-oriented, that sword. Some of the An Teach Deiridh politicians tried sending someone else, and that guy never made it back, so it’s going to be the new princess. And Megan’s just a kid. She’s managing to learn a little bit of bardic magic—you know, where you do the spell with music—due to my fabulous on-the-road explanations, but she certainly can’t handle this all alone.”

“Oh come on. We all know who’s going to take up the quest. Load your backpack with M & Ms and Pixie Stix and get on with it. What kind of risks will you face?”

“You ever hear of the Wild Hunt? The deadly annual Faerie sporting event? Well, in their down time, some of those things are going to be in our way. And so will unfordable rivers with occasionally migratory whirlpools, and that’s before we get to the lost city of Findias –“

‘Caw

“I don’t want to talk about that part, Count. I wouldn’t want you to get all emotional. And anyway, Lisa, this is all on a time crunch. If the king isn’t back by the ritual deadline, it will throw off the entire mystic balance of the seasons that will slowly destroy nearly all the art and music in the world. I think that’s giving poor Megan a bit of pressure. Luckily, I’m there to keep a level head. Quiet, stoical support; I’m very good at that.”

“Ashling, I wish you and Megan the best of luck. The obstacles are formidable, but I have faith in you. Any last ideas you want to leave with our listeners?”

“We’re almost done already? But I have so much I need to tell your listeners about. I mean, I bet they’d like to know where faeries come from. And why Count is named Count. And what everything has to do with the price of tea in China. And why dragons hate bridges. I’m full of useful knowledge. That’s why the King keeps me around, and entrusts me with keeping an eye on his daughter.

“Okay, fine. Last ideas. Everyone should have a crow for a best friend. Oh, and brownies make the best cookies. If a brownie ever offers to make cookies, YES is the only correct answer.

“Any last thoughts, Count?”

‘Caw’

“Well yes, Count. I think that goes without saying. Thanks for having us on the show, Lisa.”

“Listeners can find out what happens with Ashling and Megan in the book Foul is Fair. I’ll put all of the purchase links on the website.

“Don’t forget to use those sharing links on the way out. I’m sure Ashling would appreciate it, and she’d do the same for you when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

Lots of girls play Fairy Princess when they’re little. Megan O’Reilly had no idea the real thing was like playing chess, guitar, and hockey all at once. Megan had known for a long time that she wasn’t an entirely typical girl. But living with ADHD—and her mother’s obsessions—was a very different thing from finding out she wasn’t entirely human. Somewhere out there, in a completely different world, her father needs help. There’s a conflict, revolving around Faerie seasonal rituals, that could have consequences for humanity—and if Megan’s getting the terminology straight, it sounds like her family aren’t even supposed to be the good guys. As she’s further and further swept up in trying to save her father, Megan may be getting too good at not being human.

 

Purchase your copy here.

 

 

Jeffrey Cook lives in Maple Valley, Washington, with his wife and three large dogs. He was born in Boulder, Colorado, but has lived all over the United States. He’s the author of the Dawn of Steam trilogy of alternate-history/emergent Steampunk epistolary novels and the YA contemporary fantasy series the Fair Folk Chronicles. He’s a founding contributing author of Writerpunk Press and affiliate of the Clockwork Dragon author’s conglomerate. When not reading, researching, or writing, Jeffrey enjoys role-playing games and watching football. Katherine Perkins lives in Ontario, Ohio, with her husband and one extremely skittish cat. She was born in Lafayette, Louisiana, and will defend its cuisine on any field of honor. She is the series editor of the Dawn of Steam series and co-author of both the Fair Folk Chronicles and various short stories, including those for the charity anthologies of Writerpunk Press. When not reading, researching, writing, or editing, she tries to remember what she was supposed to be doing.

Connect with Jeffrey and Katherine at the following places:

authorjeffreycook.com

clockworkdragon.net

facebook.com/dawnofsteamtrilogy

twitter.com/jeffreycook74

 

Advertisements

47 Comments

Filed under Lisa Burton Radio

The Zeena Dragon Fae Series, on Lisa Burton Radio

Hey there you Templars and Spice Smugglers. Welcome all Casters and their Familiars. Today is Thursday, and that means it's time for Lisa Burton Radio, the only show that brings you the characters from the stories you love. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and my special guest today is Saarik the Pixie. “Welcome to the show, Saarik.”

“Hi. Hey, look, I’m on the radio! This is great! I hope the other pixies are listening to this. See you guys, I’m such a famous hero I’m even doing radio interviews now. Hey, can we record this in case anyone missed it?”

“Of course, I'll send you a copy. My bio doesn't go over the biology of pixies, and we have you on the phone today, so can you tell us a little bit about Pixies in general?”

“You don’t know about pixies? Well, it’s a good thing I came along then, isn’t it? Pixies are awesome! Take me, for example, I have some skills with magic, and can fly fast enough to beat a faerie dragon in a race. Zeena – she’s a faerie dragon, and my best friend – says I cheat when we race, and only win because of that. Like I said, she’s my best friend, but she’s obviously a sore loser.

“Where was I? Oh, yeah, right… I was telling you about pixies.

“Pixies are really small. We’re only about four inches tall. You can tell us apart from fairies because of our wings. Fairy wings are like colourful butterfly wings, where as pixie wings are more like silvery dragonfly wings. We mature twice as fast as humans do. Also, we’re fast flyers, as I already mentioned, good at being stealthy – when we want to be – and have our own type of magic, which allows us to do things like turn invisible, communicate telepathically with some other creatures who have the same abilities, and create illusions. We also have excellent low-light vision, excellent hearing, and a natural resistance to some kinds of magic. Oh, and we absolutely love fun and games. Zeena calls it mischief-making, but we call it getting as much joy out of life as possible.

“The only bad thing about being a pixie is that we’re really sensitive to extremes of temperature, and our wings can become seriously damaged – sometimes so badly they won’t repair themselves – if they get wet. Of course, I was prepared to risk those things in order to help Zeena with the quest to save the world. I mean, I couldn’t let her go alone, could I? A pixie is a very useful companion, especially if you need someone small and quick to sneak ahead and see what you’re going to be up against next. She couldn’t have done it without me, of course.”

“I see, it says here you're leading a quest to take Zeena somewhere so she can save the world. Where are you leading her? What does the world need saving from? And how is she going to save it?”

“Zeena thinks I was tagging along on her quest, but the truth of the matter is that she couldn’t have done it without me. I let her think otherwise, but it’s perfectly obvious she couldn’t have saved the world if I hadn’t been there to help.

“As for why the world needed saving… It was the Spirit Fairy. Enid the Spirit Fairy became jealous of all the times her four sisters were remembered, while everyone forgot about the fifth of the element fairies, and that jealousy blackened her heart. She used her magic to cause all kinds of trouble, and to trap her four sisters. I took Zeena to find the four trapped element fairies, she freed them, and then she helped them break the spells cast on the creatures of each of their elements.

“Of course, I had to help Zeena get past the Spirit Fairy’s minions, and also help her find where the other fairies were hidden. Often at great risk to myself. But that’s always the case for a real hero; a real hero like me always puts their friends, and the fate of the world, ahead of the risks to their own life.

“No other living pixie has seen even half what I’ve seen. Pixies normally stay among the trees, but I’ve been in the mountains, and even to Mermaid Island and the underwater mermaid city. I’m going to have stories to tell the other pixies for years. Perhaps my heroic adventures will even inspire the younger pixies.”

“So let me get this right, you're putting the band back together, so you can raise money to give to The Penguin, and save the school? A Fairy Dragon and a Pixie don't sound too imposing, so she has to be packing a serious magical punch. What stands in your way?”

“I don’t know about any band, but we probably did save the penguins, though we didn’t have any money to give them, and I know we saved several schools of fish.

“Anyway, other than the Spirit Fairy, Zeena is the only creature who can harness the power of more than one element at once, so she had to be the one to free the fairies from the magical trap the Spirit Fairy had used, since it was created using that particular kind of magic, and had to be broken using the same kind of magic. Then, as I said, Zeena worked with the element fairies to break the spells of the Spirit Fairy, and heal the damage they’d done to the creatures of each element. Her magic is really powerful, and she can harness the power of all the elements equally, whereas most creatures can only harness the power of one element. She also has some magical resistances that are even better than mine. Plus, she has a big heart, and hates to think of anyone suffering.

“On the way to free the fairies, I risked my life distracting korreds and a quickling, almost froze to death flying up to the mountains, travelled under water with only a magical bubble to protect my delicate wings, helped Zeena get past some goblins, and… Well, maybe I should let people read the book to hear about the rest of the amazing things I did. Oh, and the things Zeena did too.”

“Okay, so it actually sounds dangerous. I wish you the best of luck on your quest, and take good care of Zeena.”

“I will. She’s my best friend, like I said. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

“Oh, and thanks for putting me on your show. Did you say we recorded this? Can I get a copy for any of my fans who missed the show?”

“No problem, I'll email it to you. Read more about Saarik's quest in the Zeena Dragon Fae series. I'll post all the pertinents on the website. And don't forget to tip your waitress by using those sharing buttons at the bottom. Saarik and Zeena will appreciate it, and they'll do the same for you when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

Buy the books on Amazon:

Zeena And The Dryad

Zeena And The Gryphon

Zeena And The Mermaid

Zeena And the Phoenix

Find the Zeena Dragon Fae series on:

Smashwords

CreateSpace

Bio:

Victoria Zigler is a blind poet and children's author who was born and raised in the Black Mountains of Wales, UK, and is now living on the South-East coast of England, UK. Victoria – or Tori, if you prefer – has been writing since she knew how, has a very vivid imagination, and spends a lot of time in fictional worlds; some created by her, others created by other authors. When she remembers to spend some time in the real world, it’s mostly to spend time with her hubby and pets, though sometimes to indulge in other interests that capture her attention from time to time, such as doing crafts, listening to music, watching movies, playing the odd figure game or roleplaying game, and doing a little cooking and baking. To date she has published 7 poetry books and more than 40 children’s books, with more planned for the near future. She’s also contributed a story to the sci-fi and fantasy anthology Wyrd Worlds II.


 

Author links:

Website

Goodreads

Facebook author page

Twitter

Blog

52 Comments

Filed under Lisa Burton Radio

Fizzle the Drite, on Lisa Burton Radio

Hi, and welcome to another edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and we're going to try something a little bit different today. There is a character I've been dying to interview, but he's kind of hard to catch up with.

Fizzle is a drite, and they can be kind of reclusive. If we don't find him, I may have to think on the fly here for something to broadcast. I have a secret weapon though. I bought a beautiful basket of organic apples the last time I was at Whole Foods.

<Pop>

“OH! You scared me. Are you Fizzle?”

“Fizzle is Fizzle. Told to speak of self here. Uh . . . Fizzle small dragon. Fizzle live in woods. Fizzle leave woods to help friends. Tradespeak hard. Fizzle learn from tiny human. Fizzle love apples. What organic?”

“Oh my gosh, you're so cute. For those listening, Fizzle looks like a dragonfly, in that he's a small dragon with dragonfly wings.”

“Fizzle called drite. Not like big dragons or fake dragons. Fizzle and kind dif . . diffe . . . other thing. Drites small with great magic. Fizzle hide easy and have spell called disin . . . dis . . . make bad things go poof. Friends like warning when Fizzle cast poof spell. Give time to be safe. Fizzle have great aim, so no worry. Oh, drites have long tails too.”

“Don't you guys usually protect a forest or something?”

“Many drites protect nature. Not all. Some lazy and some curious. Fizzle protect Visindor Forest and sword lady’s school. Fizzle there before school, but Betty make yummy apple pies. Betty not sword lady. She friend of sword lady. Fizzle leave home and job to cousin. Plimp odd, but strong and good. He planting pine trees. Says pinecones yummier than apples. Fizzle not agree.”

“So why would you leave that all behind? It must be pretty important.”

<smack, chomp, burp> “Fizzle’s friends need help. Luke get into trouble. He need guarding while part of prophecy. Other champions help, but Fizzle protect Luke first. Also, like Nyx smell and Delvin know how to make apple pie. Timoran fun to perch on too. Sari just fun. Fizzle like having friends. Fizzle make sure they stay safe. Gods tell Fizzle to keep them safe.”

“You're pretty small, what would you do if someone threatened your friends.”

“Fizzle say magic. Fizzle very fast and smart. Stay hidden until strike. Bad people never see Fizzle coming. Well, blue lady did once. Evil Man did too, but Fizzle smack him. Evil Man very scary. Fizzle friends all hurt by him. Fizzle too when caught by surprise. Fizzle no like Evil Man. Rather fight Lich, who is a rotting man. Make that one go poof, but he not stay poofed. Very frus . . . frustr . . . make Fizzle pout.”

“Sounds like they could use some protecting. Do you ever sleep?”

“Fizzle have regular sleep. Also have long sleep. Drites need growing sleep for month to get stronger. Fizzle do this and friends get in trouble. This why friends need Fizzle.”

“That has to be nerve wracking. Maybe they could get a fu dog or something to cover for that year.”

“Fizzle like dogs. Luke like dogs too. Fizzle think that hard topic. Luke miss big dog. Fizzle give many apples to cheer up. Fizzle not worry now. Nyx get stronger and other champions wiser. Only Luke and Sari cause trouble. Timoran say they too young for adult wisdom. Nyx say they need head smack. Fizzle think they hide hurt with fun. Oh! Maybe Fizzle take form of dog. Bad people not expect dog to cast poof spell. Can dogs fly?”

“You know what I think? If you protect the champions, that makes you a champion too.”

“Fizzle no champion. Fizzle protector of champions. Prophecy go on with or without Fizzle and other friends. Fizzle know champions need friends. Though champions do not know that champions need friends to win. Not sure how, but Fizzle feel that right. Old Evil have demons, so why not champions have friends?”

“The champion's mission sounds like a dangerous adventure, but Windemere sounds like it has beautiful places too. Do you ever think you might adopt a new forest once everything is sorted out?”

“Fizzle no know. May take Visindor back or stay with Nyx. Fizzle have strong bond with Nyx. Luke call her city rat. Not sure if Fizzle want stay in city. Depend on what around. Many forests without drites. Fizzle can make new home and new friends. Fizzle can travel and plant a forest of every apple tree in world. Call it Yummy Woods and protect it.”

“Thank you for being with is today, Fizzle. The sponsor of today's show is Charms of the Feykin, the newest entry in the Legends of Windemere series. Don't forget to tip your waitress by clicking on those sharing buttons at the end of the post.

***

To make a champion fall, one must wound their very soul.

Nyx is leading the charge to rescue Delvin and Sari, who have gone missing in the southern jungles of Windemere. Battling through the local predators, the champions are surprised when they reunite in the Feykin city of Rhundar. Instead of captives, the missing heroes have become the city’s rulers and are on the verge of starting a war with those that want to exterminate their new followers. Even with such a noble cause, Delvin and Sari have changed into brutal warlords that may kill each other and their friends long before they step onto the battlefield.

Have Delvin and Sari really changed for the worst or is there a greater threat pulling the champions’ strings?

 

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

 

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com

Twitter: @cyallowitz

Facebook: Charles Yallowitz

Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

 

84 Comments

Filed under Lisa Burton Radio

Calling all lovers of fantasy

Charles Yallowitz has a new entry into his long running Windemere series. This one promises tension galore. It sounds like there might be dissension amongst the troops. Here’s Charles to tell us about it.

 

Return to Windemere in Charms of the Feykin!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

To make a champion fall, one must wound their very soul.

Nyx is leading the charge to rescue Delvin and Sari, who have gone missing in the southern jungles of Windemere. Battling through the local predators, the champions are surprised when they reunite in the Feykin city of Rhundar. Instead of captives, the missing heroes have become the city’s rulers and are on the verge of starting a war with those that want to exterminate their new followers. Even with such a noble cause, Delvin and Sari have changed into brutal warlords that may kill each other and their friends long before they step onto the battlefield.

Have Delvin and Sari really changed for the worst or is there a greater threat pulling the champions’ strings?

Grab it on Amazon!

Add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List!

Excerpt: Broken Bonds

Sari draws two daggers and sprints at Luke, slashing at his sabers in an attempt to cut his hands as he unsheathes his weapons. Instead, the forest tracker unclips the scabbards from his belt and spreads his arms to avoid the gypsy’s attack. The swords still sheathed, he does his best to deflect his former friend’s strikes while harmlessly smacking her in the sides. When a dagger slices his arm, Luke kicks out to knock Sari back. A hint of a grin on her face causes him to slow his attack, his foot aching as it bounces off her immovable body. Knowing he has to trick her, the half-elf runs backwards to get the gypsy to charge. Before she falls behind, the warrior lets her gradually catch up while remaining out of slashing range. Once Luke reaches the riverbank, he lunges forward and aims a swing at the sprinting woman’s knee. Forced to decide between taking a blow that would surely break bone or risk a similar injury by turning her power on while running, Sari tries to twist out of the way. She lands on her back at the forest tracker’s feet and curses when he pins her arms by jamming his sabers against her wrists.

Before Luke can tell the gypsy to stop struggling, an arm of water bursts from the river and bats him away. Phelan leaps out of the rapids and sprints at the prone warrior, his daggers lengthened by keenly edged liquid. The weapons sink into the muddy earth when their target rolls away, the ringing of drawn steel revealing that the champion is no longer restraining himself. With a flurry of stabs and slashes, the half-elf drives his new opponent back and whittles away at the watery daggers. Trying not to kill the Feykin, Luke delivers an echoing hilt punch to Phelan’s head every time the other warrior attempts a counterattack. Faced with the full speed and skill of the agile forest tracker, the outclassed hunter has various watery weapons fly out of the river. None of them hit the champion, who remains close enough to continue his barrage of muscle-rattling strikes.

Ducking to the side, Luke slashes at the other man’s exposed flank in what he hopes will be a crippling, but non-lethal, blow. The saber clangs off a patch of icy armor and a freezing tremor makes the half-elf’s arm go numb. A searing pain erupts from his lower back and he whirls around, the motion preventing Sari’s dagger from doing more than a long cut across his side. His first saber swings an inch over her head, but his second weapon leaves a gash up the middle of her chin. Enraged by the pain, the gypsy moves out of Luke’s reach and summons a massive hammer of water. She freezes the forest tracker’s feet to the ground before he can move, which allows the large weapon to connect. It repeatedly comes down on the warrior, breaking several ribs and one of his arms. Sheathing his sabers and remaining on the ground, the half-elf draws the stiletto and hurls it into Sari’s thigh. A look of shock is on her face and she stares at Luke’s battered form as if seeing such injuries for the first time.

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

.

.

.

.

.

.

Also Available in Single eBooks:

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover art by Jason Pedersen

Cover art by Jason Pedersen

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

Author Photo

About the Author:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Note from Craig: Come back Thursday and check out Lisa Burton’s special guest, on Lisa Burton Radio.

15 Comments

Filed under Writing

A day of celebration

I got to the writing cabin late today. I have family responsibilities on Sundays, and won't shirk those. I went into my office and started on all the things a writer has to keep up with.

I answered several emails, checked Twitter and Facebook, then proceeded to WordPress. Lisa* brought me some coffee, and I looked away from the computer. “Guess who just won a Planetary Award?”

“I don't know, who?”

“Me. My short story, Something in the Water, won a Planetary Award over at Planetary Defense Command.”

“Oh.”

“I thought you'd be more excited. I'm excited.”

“It would have been nice to have Bombshell Squad win something.”

“I get your point, but Something in the Water was a fun story, and it caught the judge's attention. Besides, you've been getting plenty of attention. Wild Concept sold some copies during its 99¢ sale, and the UK sale is still going on. They may even surpass the US store.”

“I suppose. It's just that you've grown as a writer. Bombshell Squad is a little better writing than Wild Concept.”

“I don't get your point. Something in the Water is just as recent, and reflects the same amount of growth as a writer.”

“Should we celebrate, or something?”

“I think we should. We'll get the enchanted beer horns filled up and drink them dry. Make sure you post a picture of the haunted biplane on the blog too. People may want it for a phone background, or even a computer. Besides, you're in the picture, and some people might like that too.”

“That's a good idea. I love my flight jacket.” Her eyelashes fluttered, and I knew she was online.

Lisa scowled. “I have some bad news too. It looks like someone held a kegger out at the island. They defaced the Moai with spray paint and left garbage everywhere.”

“That sucks, why do people have to act like that?”

“Don't know. Do you want me to take a sandblaster out there and try to clean it up?”

“No. Today we celebrate. Drop a note to the National Park Service fairies. They'll take care of it.”

“You're not going to make those poor fairies scrub those giant statues, are you?”

“It's kind of their job, but no. They use dermestid beetles.”

Lisa's eyelashes fluttered again as she searched the Internet. “Gross, those are the kind of beetles scientists use to strip bones clean.”

“Right, they use them for museum displays. I think even the cops use them to study the bones of murder victims. The fairies keep a large herd of them, because they eat garbage and even spray paint.”

<Snort>

“What?”

“Do the fairies use tiny little dehorning saws and branding irons?”

“I have no idea. I'll bet they have an informational page on their website. You should check it out.”

“I'm going to, and if they don't I'm going to shoot them an email.”

“For right now, let's celebrate.” I whistled for the enchanted beer horns, and they both trumpeted. Lisa filled them up while they wagged their tails and helped us celebrate. Lisa doesn't need to eat or drink, so I'll probably empty both of them myself.

*Lisa is my robotic personal assistant, and the spokesmodel for my books. She even has her own Facebook Page.

38 Comments

Filed under Muse

The return of Lisa Burton

I skipped on the snow as I landed at the writing cabin. Roald* helped me drag the gyro-copter back on the runway and turn it around.

Inside, I found Iris** the fairy using one of the tablespoons like a big shovel to load Bunny’s dish with alfalfa pellets.

“Good thing it was my wing that got sprained, and not my back,” she said.

I held a thumb up as I went past into the kitchen. I loaded the eggnog bowl into the sink and filled it with warm soapy water. Roald started on the dishes as I broke out the vacuum cleaner.

The rumble of the Harley sounded from down the valley. It would be a few minutes before Lisa*** got home. Sound traveled well in the icy air. I managed to clean up the worst of the dwarf tracks before slipping the vacuum into the closet.

A trio of harpies shrieked along the road and scattered as the motorcycle approached.

When the front door opened, I held my hands wide. “Welcome home.”

Lisa headed my way and turned up the stairs. I lowered my arms and glanced at Iris.

“Oh my little Bunny wunny. Mommy missed you so much.” Lisa’s voice drifted from upstairs. I waited for her to disburse an apple branch, a cardboard tube, a carrot slice, and a zucchini slice.

When she came back down, Lisa had already hung up her jacket. Her hair was full of icicles, and windblown. Somehow she still managed to look good. It was kind of a grunge/frozen look.

“Did you guys miss me around here?” she asked.

“I did.” I have to confess I was getting tired of scrapple, and eggnog that was stirred by Roald’s arm. Iris had been a big help when it came to preparing for my blog tour.

“Ve’s happy to have you back,” Roald said. “Iris and I can still make ten miles before ve gotta camp tonight.”

“Maybe we ought to wait until morning,” Iris said.

“Nah, I already got the cows loaded and dey’s ready to go.” Roald rumbled down to the basement and brought his cows around through the garage door.

“Are you safe to fly now?” Lisa asked Iris.

“Mostly. Roald said I can snuggle down into one of his cows. He said mountain cows have the warmest hair on Earth.”

“If you listen to Roald, mountain cows are the best of everything,” I said.

Lisa opened a drawer and slid out an old oven mitt. She walked out front and tied it to one of the cows.

“Dat’s a pretty good idea, by golly. Now Iris vill be nice and toasty along the trail.” Roald slapped his hands together and rubbed them. Steam clouded the air where he and the cows breathed.

No steam emitted from Lisa’s rhythmic breathing.

I walked out to join them and Iris snuggled into her oven mitt. “It was nice seeing you guys again,” I said. “Tell the rest of the southern people we said hello.”

We watched them go until they hit the tree line off to the east. It had been a busy year. Four older books published, and The Cock of the South was the last one.

Lisa and I went back inside, and I moved closer to the fire.

“I brought you a souvenir,” Lisa said.

I tried to suppress a grin, but failed. She took a shot glass from her purse and placed it on the front desk.

It looked just like this, but said Whitelyn, Arizona instead of Rachel, Nevada.

image

“You cozy up to the fire, temperature doesn’t bother me.” Lisa said. “Looks like I’d better get the skis on your gyro-copter before you have a worse landing.”

*Roald is a dwarven tribesman. He plays a supporting role in The Cock of the South. He was filling in for Lisa while she was away.

**Iris is a fairy. She also plays a supporting role in The Cock of the South. She was convalescing at the writing cabin while her wing healed.

*** Lisa is the main character in Wild Concept. She is a robot and works as my assistant at the writing cabin these days.

18 Comments

Filed under Muse

That secret project I was working on

A month or so ago, I participated in Blog Recruiting Day for the Rave Reviews Book Club. It was a contest, with a Spotlight Author week as a prize.

My post got the most votes, and this week is my Spotlight tour. What many of you might not know, is that a lot of work goes on behind the scenes to make these things work.

Iris* and I have been working on blog posts like crazy. There were interview sheets to fill out, and I had to perform ‘I’m a Little Teapot’ before Lorelei** would agree to her interview.

During this time, I also wanted to support Karen at In a Small Compass. She’s writing a story called Neighbors, and my character, Lisa, is playing a supporting role.

I also had to show Roald*** how to work the camera for my candid shot. It will show up somewhere this week.

I got to the Writing Cabin late that day. Iris was waiting on my desk by my Mac. Roald was in the kitchen up to his armpit in an old cauldron he’d brought up from the basement.

“What’s going on here?” I asked.

“I find out about this Christmas thingy,” Roald said. “It’s a pretty big party, so I’m makin’ you some eggnog, by golly. It’s better with milk from Mountain Cows.”

“How do you know?”

“Vell, I tried about a quart of it already. (Hic)”

“Why is your arm in it?”

“Dose eggshells are pretty darned tricky, but I catch him pretty quick. You’ll see.”

“Okay. I have to get to work, but I’ll try some later.” I went to my office and started working on a book excerpt.

Iris said, “Maybe you ought to use the one with Cobby’s girlfriend.”

“I thought I’d use a scene with you in it.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet. What else are you using?”

“There’s one with Cobby and Roald in it that might work.”

She helped me decide where to clip the scenes off, and I wrote a little intro for them.

Roald showed up with his eggnog, and we all had some. It was sweet and nutty, with a salty Dwarven aftertaste. I handed him my iPhone and asked him to take my picture.

He got a nice shot of his thumb, Doubt the raven’s backside, his own eye, and half my face.

Ultimately, we decided my wife could take the picture. We settled in for a great blog tour and enjoyed our eggnog.

Now everyone make a fist with your right hand. Repeat after me, “I will pick up a copy of The Cock of the South, and I will enjoy it.” Now thump that fist over your heart.

…”(hic) I vill too, by golly.”

“No, not you, Roald. Them.”

*Iris is a supporting character in The Cock of the South. She’s a fairy and is helping me prepare for this blog tour.

** Lorelei is my Muse. She is appearing at Marlena Hand’s blog, Life as I Know It, today. So go check it out.

*** Roald is a Dwarven tribesman. He is a supporting character in The Cock of the South. He’s filling in for Lisa the robot while she’s at Karen’s place.

13 Comments

Filed under Muse, Writing