The Bow of Destiny, on Lisa Burton Radio

 

Welcome to another edition of Lisa Burton Radio. Now broadcasting at one point twenty-one jigawatts across all the known galaxy, alternate realms, and into the future and past. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl.

Our guest today is Limbreth, a young woman, on a quest to recover a stolen book and find the Bow of Hart.

“Welcome to the show, Limbreth.”

“Greetings from the Forest of Auguron, Lisa Burton.”

“My bio says you’ve joined this quest with a Withling named Hastra. Who’s leading this quest, you or her?”

“Hastra’s in charge but gets a lot of advice from Gweld, an elven ranger and these two dauntless dwarves, Tordug and Makwi. Hastra knows the most about our foe and the Bow of Hart. But these feckless Rokans stole her book, back in the City of Auguron using this magical creature she calls a Bane.”

“Dwarves! I love dwarves. We had a bunch of them at the writing cabin for a while.”

“Yes, Dwarves! We could use a few more of us on this trip, Limbreth. The more to teach you a thing or two about what it means to be an axe-maiden who’s been blessed with the death-grip.

“And who might you be, sir?”

“Name’s Tordug. Me and Makwi only showed up for the fun of finishing up what Limbreth started when she charged, wounded – can you believe that, Lisa? – into a pack of trolls to save Athson. It’s worthy of a song! Really, Lisa, you should have seen her glowing silver in the moonlight. We couldn’t pry one of her swords from her hand afterward (we call that the death-grip). Those trolls were right scarred before we got there. Why–

“Yeah, honey, maybe we can interview you next time. Assuming you survive this adventure.”

“Sorry, Tordug and Makwi made me an honorary member of their society and I’m not sure yet what to make of that.”

“Now Limbreth, it seems to me this book is important, but the Bow of Hart is important too. Our listeners want to know, which one is the bigger deal?”

“Well as far as I can understand, The Bow of Hart is supposed to be used on Magdronu, the dragon. He’s trying to stop us from getting the bow. We expect one of his wizardly servants named Corgren might have it so we’re going to the fallen dwarven kingdom, Chokkra, to find it. Corgren’s got trolls who attacked us and Rokan spies that have Hastra’s book too. Magdronu had Corgren and his trolls ransack Athson’s village years ago so somehow he’s mixed up in the bow – at least that’s what Hastra says. Athson knows some of it but he doesn’t understand his connection to it all.”

“So I’m getting the sense that the bow is more important to you. While Athson is a little bit messed up, you think he can take care of Cogren and Magdronu if he gets this bow.

“I’m clear on that much, but I want to know what’s in it for you?”

“Well, I fell in with Hastra after I left home to show my father, um, well, I mean I’m here for the adventure and… Well, anyway, Athson can handle himself even if he does see things like that dog. But he’s not seeing dead people from his past anymore since he got that sword. I just wish he and I could spend more time, um, scouting for the group like we did before Marston’s Station. Right now we’re riding with a bunch of elven rangers as far as their forts near the Troll Heaths and we don’t get that much time together, um, for scouting. But we’ll get him to the bow. I’ve got his back. He’ll do what he needs to. He doesn’t miss with a bow, just throwing knives sometimes…”

“It sounds like quite the predicament. How are you holding up to life on the trail? It can’t be easy with all those men around.”

“Well, there’s Hastra to keep me company. And really, everyone in our group’s experienced. It’s an incredible adventure and my father will, um, he’ll see… Anyway, I like being around other warriors. But, to be honest I’m a little worried how my feet will hold up when we start walking. I’m more used to riding horses and these boots the dwarves got me back at Marston’s Station are a bit uncomfortable. But I’ll make it.”

“I’m into fashion, and I have to know, what do you wear out on the trail? Is it long dresses, or pants and pirate boots? Maybe you have some cool custom battle armor.”

“Dresses? Seriously? Maybe back at cour-, uh, home but not here. I wear this white dueling armor made of leather and tough leggings that match. Other than that I keep my hair in a braid so I can reach either sword strapped to my back. Why? What do you wear on an adventure?”

“I tend to wear short skirts that let me move freely. I also carry the B.A.G.; that stands for big assed gun. It’s kind of like magic. It’s computer coded to my hands so only I can shoot it.”

“Girls, we have to break this up. Time to get back in the saddle.”

“Yes, Tordug. Many thanks for having me on your show today.”

“Thanks for talking with us today, Limbreth. Don’t pick up any rubber tomahawks, Tordug, and duck when you see dragon fire.”

“The sponsor of today’s show is The Bow of Destiny by P. H. Solomon. I’ll include all the links on the website. For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.”

***

P. H. Solomon lives in the greater Birmingham, AL area where he strongly dislikes yard work and sanding the deck rail. However, he performs these duties to maintain a nice home for his loved ones as well as the family’s German Shepherds. In his spare time, P. H. rides herd as a Computer Whisperer on large computers called servers (harmonica not required). Additionally, he enjoys reading, running, most sports and fantasy football. Having a degree in Anthropology, he also has a wide array of more “serious” interests in addition to working regularly to hone his writing. The Bow of Destiny is his first novel-length title with more soon to come.

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Haunted by his past. Hunted in the present. Uncertain what is real.

Athson has seen things that aren’t there and suffered fits since being tragically orphaned as a child at the hands of trolls and Corgren the wizard. When a strange will mentioning a mysterious bow comes into his possession, he’s not sure it’s real. But the trolls that soon pursue him are all too real and dangerous. And what’s worse, these raiders serve Corgren and his master, the hidden dragon, Magdronu, who are responsible for the destruction of his childhood home. Athson is drawn into a quest for the concealed Bow of Hart by the mystic Withling, Hastra, but Athson isn’t always sure what’s real and who his enemies are. With Corgren and Magdronu involved, Athson must face not only frequent danger but his grasp on reality and the reasons behind his tragic past.

 

Book 1 of The Bow of Hart Saga: The Bow of Destiny can be found at these online retailers: Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iBooks, Amazon – Kindle & Smashwords. See the book trailer.

Coming soon

Last day of my blog tour

I’m being hosted today by Bethany Turner. This doesn’t appear to be a WordPress type blog. I offer a few of my writing tricks that some might consider tips. You can read it here.

The All Nighter that Never Happened

I set everything up in the cabin and started writing about some forgotten items in The Will ‘O the Wisp. I was going to have my main character, Patty, show up but she has school tomorrow.

I’d just gotten started when there was a knock at the door. Three loud, well spaced knocks.

I ran out to the lobby and met Roald, the dwarf. I always got a kick out of him. He has one of those engaging personalities, and an accent that’s just charming. He says things like vell instead of well, and yust instead of just. He’s kind of an outsider to his group, being from a different tribe. He takes it all in stride and is a worthy dwarf if ever there was one.

“What are you doing here this late at night?” I asked.

“Miss Lisa, she sends us a letter. You want to see Cobby tomorrow. He’s busy making some stuff, but I come tonight, by golly.” He patted his chest and stood up straight.

“Please come in, and take off your coat. You can put your snowshoes and weapons in the corner.”

He fluffed the snow and ice off his blond beard and said, “Is there some place I can tie up my cows? I been traveling a couple days now. They need to take their packs off and get some rest.”

“Not out there. There’s dire wolves and cave lions left over from an earlier story. They can go in the basement corral. Lead them down the slope and I’ll have Lisa open the door.”

I pushed the pager and called Lisa, “We’ve got company. Can you open the garage door downstairs? We need to put Roald’s cows in the corral.”

“Roald’s here? That’s wonderful. I’ll meet you down there,” she said.

We met downstairs and Lisa spread some straw in the stalls, while I threw some hay out for the tiny cows.” Good thing the basement daylights out the far side so we could shovel it later.

Once we were situated, Roald carried a wooden box upstairs. “Athene and I got you something. Miss Lisa said you wanted a fancy drinking horn, and we gots plenty of those. There’s this guy who does great silver work, and we got lots of horns lying around from all that wild beef. So we had him make you a set.”

Lisa said, “That’s so sweet of you. Then we want to hear all about your wedding.”

“Yeah, by golly, me and Athene took the oath.” He sat the box on my desk and opened the hinged lid. The drinking horns were spectacular with a one inch high belled silver rim to drink across. They were a matched set with one horn being more brown and one being more grey in color. He sat one on the table and it moved.

It had a silver chest and tail that looked like a little dragon. Two dragon talons kept it upright while it stretched like a cat, then scurried across my desk. The other one crawled out under it’s own power and joined its friend, twitching the little arrowhead shaped tail tip back and forth.

“Um, Roald, why are they moving around?”

“That guy’s been making them for everybody. That oracle girl ordered a set too, but we have a big mistake. She make something magic with lots of sparks and stuff, afore we figured out she got the wrong ones. But here’s yours, good as new.” He placed his hands on his hip and raised his head with pride.

“But they’re running around my desk.”

Lisa said, “Well I think they’re adorable.” She picked one up and hugged it to her chest. It leaned into her and snuggled.

“Thanks, I think. So Cobby will be here tomorrow?”

“Yeah, he left the day after me. Miss Lisa said you have tomorrow to edit our story, so he’s a coming.”

The horn on the desk lowered it’s opening and swelled up. It gave off a note like a French horn in a culvert.

I took a rapid step back. “What the hell was that?”

“Just you wait, by golly.”

The horn in Lisa’s arms gave off a note that made the other one pale in comparison. It was more like a tuba in a domed stadium. At least they harmonized, it could have been worse.

“So how do you shut them up?” I asked. “I need to get some work done around here.”

“They don’t shut up sometimes. The only thing we can figure is it means beer time. Beer always calms them down.”

“I have one bottle of porter in the fridge. Is that enough?”

“Oh no you don’t,” Roald said. “I brought a little keg of good dwarven beer. It’s our first batch too.” He hustled back downstairs.

Once the horns were filled, they strutted around like little roosters. Roald grabbed the brown one and said, “Skoal.”

I grabbed the grey one and clunked it against his horn. It was the best beer I’d ever had. It was thick and dark, and clung to my mustache. It tasted like hot summer days, and toasted grain.

“Miss Lisa, do you have a mug or something?”

“No thanks, Roald. I don’t have to eat or drink. I’m a robot,” she said. “I can, if it makes you more comfortable.”

“Oh yeah, I remember now.” He flopped down on my couch and sat his horn on the coffee table.

I walked behind my desk and powered off my Mac, then flopped into my recliner. I looked at the grey horn on the desk and whistled, “Hey you. Over here.” The horn jumped off the desk and scurried across the floor. It stood up straight so I could grab it.

I drained my horn and sat it on the table so it could walk around with its friend. I muttered to myself, “I was perfectly happy with science fiction. I just wanted to challenge myself. Write a fantasy, how bad can it get? Then it sticks in your head and interrupts the next book.”

Roald grabbed the little keg and filled his horn once more. Mine belched loudly, and ran over for a refill too. I planned for an all nighter, and I was in for one. Just not the kind I had planned.

Saturday fun

We went to see The Hobbit, the desolation of Smaug. I have to say I really enjoyed it. There was a bunch of new material crammed in there, but they’re trying to force us to buy three tickets. The material they shoehorned in made sense, in a fashion. I thought the elf/ dwarf mini romance was handled pretty well. Legolas is showing his age though.

Smaug was outstanding. With him in the film, I never missed Golum, and he’s one of my all time favorites. I think they auto tuned Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice a bit too much. I thought he sounded exactly like the goblin king from the first movie. This is unfortunate, because he has an awesome voice all by himself.

Old Chicago was packed. We waited a long time for a seat, and a nice lady approached us and offered us her booth when she left. Maybe my wife and I are looking older and more pitiful. I thought it was wonderful, and really appreciated her. I finished my holiday beer tour, but they are out of tee shirts in every size. Something about getting a Christmassy tee shirt after Christmas doesn’t turn me on. The last two beers were pretty good though. They were more like an English Bitter which I really like. Some of the others were like India Pale Ales, and I don’t like those. You have every right to, I just don’t.

I really wanted to post a picture of my cool new shirt, but they’re sending it to me. A photo won’t have as much impact after the holidays.

We’re home now. I’m looking forward to writing another thousand words tomorrow. Fingers crossed.