Tag Archives: dark humor

I couldn’t stop myself

Today was one of those rare writing days that only seems to come along once per year. I even goofed off before I got started. Old What’s Her Face bought me some New Orleans style coffee with chicory, and I took my time to enjoy it. Made a trip around the yard to water plants, and checked in on my Story Empire friends for a while.

I knew either story could lunge forward today. They were both at that point where I could really accomplish something. I was feeling kind of upbeat and went for Goodbye Old Paint. Lizzie and the hat it was.

Mari’s story is a little more grim, so I’m saving that for a different day.

I still believe in torturing my main characters, so Lizzie didn’t get completely off the hook. I’ve done a lot to her over the volumes, so today I gave her a curse.

This volume is intended to be a little more light hearted than before, but it’s still dark humor. Basically, she started turning into a toad. I peppered this with moments of normalcy that eventually faded into madness. Many bugs were eaten.

The hat freaked out, and couldn’t find his go-to guy, Dash Goodman. In desperation he called Joyeux DuPont. I already set some of this up in a previous session, so the phone number was easily available.

A bit of research at Good Liniment, then Joyeux picked up Lizzie and the hat and whisked them away to visit with a new character. In her classic fastback Barracuda, no less.

Mad Mellinger is my kitchen witch, and between her and Joyeux, they conjured up a cure for Lizzie. It’s pure madness, I promise. I was inspired by those videos where someone is returning home after wisdom tooth extraction. The ones where they say all kinds of stupid crap. Lizzie has a lot to live down now.

It’s important to view my witches as an outsider, because Lizzie isn’t one of them. On the rare occasion I need them to flesh something out, I used the hat in kind of a Dr. Watson role to ask a question.

I’m super excited about all the goofy crap I included in today’s session. From Lizzie trying to make a burrow while under the spadefoot curse, to a couple of Deez-Nuts jokes, it was a great day.

Since Joyeux has plant based magic, and is basically an herbalist, it was easy enough to have her provide the magical ingredients for Mad to cook up. That worked out quite well.

I always try to keep my witches to a certain plan. Their houses are kind of unusual and isolated from everyone else. I’d already written Joyeux’s converted water tower about a month ago. I decided Mad lives in a converted barn. It’s a pretty cool repurposing of an old building.

They have wands, and they aren’t like other writers use. Dash has an old pipe wrench. I noted once before that Joyeux uses a garden dibble. It might seem pretty simple, but Mad’s wooden spoon just seems to fit her magical style. I also peppered her location with some fat hens, and a few beehives, but they weren’t more than scenery.

There’s an egg scrying scene, and I’m going to have something similar before Mad’s section ends, but this vision is for Lizzie.

I even added a section that reveals Joyeux is from Detroit. It’s a long shot, but if I ever write my Detroit story, it could now tie into the hat universe with a bit of magic involved in that plot.

Right now, I have two loose plans that could support the hat series. One is the Detroit story, and another involves Dash Goodman going solo in his own story. Don’t know if I’ll ever get to them, but they’re ideas, anyway.

I want to get this one to the point that Lizzie is aimed back at what caused her curse, with a vengeance. That means spending the night at Mad’s place, driving back, then dealing with some real world problems. After that, I’m going to pick up Mari’s swamp story once more.

I never noted my stopping place last time, but by the miracle of WordPress, I did note it here last weekend. Today’s word count is – not joking – over eight-thousand words. It’s bound to be full of typos, and too many words, but I’ll deal with all that tomorrow morning.

Right now, I think I need to find something to watch on one of the streaming services and veg out.

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Viral Blues at SC Jensen’s

Hi, all! The Hat Series tour stops off at SC Jensen’s site today. The specific topic is Viral Blues. Stop over and visit. While you’re there, check out her Bubbles in Space series. It’s tons of fun.

What are you reading this spooky season?

I like to reserve October reads for all things horror and paranormal, and this year I’m doing something a little different.

I’ve decided to dive into C.S. Boyack’s The Hat series! It has been so much fun.

I have read and loved Boyack’s cyberpunk detective novel Grinders, and have been wanting to explore some of his other worlds.

Boyack is a writer who really knows his craft and seems to have no end of wild and whimsical ideas to explore.

I really appreciate his sense of humour and love of the absurd, and that’s ultimately why I settled on The Hat series. You can read my review of the entire series (so far) here!

I’m fortunate to have C.S. Boyack on the blog today to share a little bit about this series, and in particular the book Viral Blues! Check it out. Maybe The Hat will tickle your fancy, too…

Keep reading here.

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Indie Feature Friday: C.S. Boyack’s Lizzie and the Hat Paranormal Mystery Series

I discovered this review post over at SC Jensen’s place this morning. It feels like the perfect welcome to October for me. Stop over and check it out. I’ve read Jensen’s first Bubbles in Space novel, and it’s well worth checking out, too.

Have you ever been completely caught off guard by a series?

Have you picked up a book that sounds interesting–if a little quirky and weird–and then been totally blown away?

I know, I say “quirky” and “weird” as if that’s not exactly what I’m usually looking for. You know I love quirky and weird. The challenge is finding quirky and weird and good all together in once place.

Read the rest, here.

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I’m visiting with Gwen today

I’m over at Gwen Plano’s place today and the topic is comedy. Well, at least some of the comedy in The Hat Series. Gwen is a good friend, and one of my Story Empire partners. Check out her site and wares while you’re over there.

Hello, blog friends!

I’m excited to welcome C.S. Boyack to this site today. Most of you know and appreciate Craig through his books. He’s a prolific writer and amazing storyteller. His latest publication, Lunar Boogie, just became available, and Craig’s going to tell us about it. We’re in for a ride, because the entire series is laced with hilarious and unforgetable scenes.

C.S. Boyack has a wonderful way of taking reality and masking it in a fantasy. Through laughter and quirkiness, he opens our eyes to possibility. That’s no small achievement. 

Let’s see what Craig has to say! https://www.gwenplano.com/blog-reflections/boyack-is-on-tour-with-lunar-boogie

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Naked Alliances on Lisa Burton Radio

Coming at you with 1.21 jigawatts of power, you’ve discovered Lisa Burton Radio. The only show where we interview the characters that you love to read about. I’m Lisa Burton, the robot girl, and I’m waiting for my guest Brandi to show up.

She’s out in the meadow, following her cellphone somewhere. I know the old Airstream is in a forest, but come on! I’ll just throw the switch for the loudspeaker. “Hey, Brandi, over here.” That seems to have gotten her attention.

“Damn that’s loud! So sorry I’m late. I play Pokemon Go. There was a Snorlax in my nearby sightings and I was trying to track him. I think I stepped in some yak splat. Ewww, it’s all over my new shoes.”

“Welcome to the show, Brandi. Here’s some paper towels to clean that up.”

“Thank you. Man, this place is hard to find. It’s beautiful up here and so serene, but you’re about as far out as Robin Williams. Brought some fresh Florida produce for Bunny.”

“That’s so nice of you. Would you like to meet him after the show?”

“I would. I adore soft, furry, cuddly animals.”

“Our sponsor today is Naked Alliances, by S. K. Nicholls. Craig and I have both read this book and enjoyed it immensely. When we first meet you, you’ve just rescued a Vietnamese girl, Cara Kieu, and are running from her pursuers. What can you tell us about that?”

“I didn’t know Cara Kieu prior to that night. I just saw a girl in trouble and tried to help her. The fact that men were chasing after us with guns caused us to run into the street. That’s where we literally ran into Richard Noggin, P.I. (aka Dick Head, P.I.) I’m not saying he’s not a gentleman, but when he dumped us off on the corner in front of the Parliament House and raced away, I had my doubts.”

“Google tells me The Parliament House is a gay nightclub. How does one wind up there?”

“It’s more than a gay nightclub, it’s an entire resort complex with hotel suites, swimming pool, seven nightclubs that all have different themes, a full service restaurant and the Footlight Theater. I perform at the theater. We have comedy shows for the general public and grand dance events. I’m a showgirl and love dressing up in glimmering costumes to perform for the crowds. Entertaining is not all that I do well. I was an Explosives Ordinance Disposal Specialist in the U.S. Army for five years, followed by a brief stint as a cop. I learned a great deal in those roles, but had a bad experience as a cop that left me with a morbid fear of guns. After that, I hooked up with my bestie, Gloria, she’s a female impersonator, and we came to Florida. Gloria offered me so much support when I was transitioning from Brandon to Brandi.”

“So you’re in a nice dress, killer heels, and running through the Florida night and cross paths with Richard Noggin, Private Eye. Tell us a little about Richard.”

“Richard is a nice man, chivalrous to a degree, reserved but open-,minded, and a bit of a loner.  He prefers to work alone, or at least he used to. He’s a gambling man, but not the luckiest card in the deck. He’s kinda cute, but we could never be more than friends with his attitude. That night I wanted Richard to take Cara because I had a show to do, but he had to meet with the former mayor about some big important case. Priorities, you know. I was worried about the girl, but I had priorities too. Richard finally came over the next night and took Cara somewhere, but I took matters into my own hands to find out who was after us and went looking in Little Saigon for clues. Honestly, that didn’t turn out too well either. Both Cara and I were abducted. In the end, Richard came for us, but again, he dumped us… at a freakin’ nudist resort! At least nobody was walking around with a concealed weapon there. Richard focused on the cold case murder and sort of left Cara and I to our own devices.”

“Brandi, it looks like we have a call. Do you mind some questions from our listeners?”

“Sure, I’m fine with that.”

“Hello, caller, you’re on the air with Lisa and Brandi.”

“This is Richard. Where the hell are you?”

“I-da-ho.”

“I know you are, so where are you?”

“Smart ass. Idaho, the State where Lisa Burton lives.”

“I sent you to Vegas to check on some leads about my friend Rex and the fact that he was either murdered or committed suicide, and you end up in Idaho chatting on a radio show with a friend. I can’t trust you to get this job done. Maybe you’re not cut out for this kind of work.”

“I did everything you asked me to do in Vegas and then some, with time to spare.”

“Well, get yourself home pronto. We have one dead Seminole and another is missing. I’d like to get to him before the alligators do.”

“I wish I could buy you for what you are worth and sell you for what you think you are worth. Good-bye!”

“Wow, was that your boss?”

“He likes to think he’s my boss. Actually, we’re supposed to be partners, but you know men. They’re like panty hose. Either they run, they cling, or they don’t fit right in the crotch. Richard is having trouble accepting my position. It’s bad enough I used to be man. Richard sees me as a woman, and that’s a good thing, in some ways, but he also has this attitude that I’m somehow supposed to be subservient. There is a rigid idea of what is feminine or masculine and our almost pathological need to classify people by those ideas. It’s well known that the plastic sign of a stick man or stick woman on bathroom doors is like kryptonite to criminals and has kept us safe for 10,000 years.”

“I get it. People find out I’m a robot and they think I’m either; out to take over the world, bound to Asimov’s Laws of robotics like some kind of servant, or a sex toy of some kind. Being a robot is what I am, but it’s not who I am. Know what I mean?”

“Honey, I do. Not only am I transgendered, but I’m biracial. Prejudice is something I’ve dealt with all my life.”

“You know, I was in Florida recently. I knew we had this interview coming up, and I bought you something.”

“You bought something for me? I know you had some trouble gettin’ outta Florida, but I had no idea you were shopping for me. You shoulda called me! I know all those guys down at the station.”

“That old Army messenger bag isn’t getting it done. I found this cool purse and it seems big enough for most of your stuff. Let’s face it, you need a big bag.”

“Geez, thank you. You’re such the fashionista. I’m still working on my fashion sense. This is just awesome, and SWIM, that’s a big brand name in Florida.”

“Let’s walk over to the cabin and see if Bunny wants an organically grown radish.”

“Let’s do. Thank you for having me here today.”

“For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton. Our sponsor today has been The Naked Alliance, by S. K. Nicholls. I’ll load all the important details on the blog.”

***

When a young immigrant woman and an exotic dancer are fleeing men with guns and have no place to hide, Richard Noggin, P.I., can’t turn his back on them, even if helping them makes him a target.

Richard plans to impress an aspiring politician by taking on a big white-collar case with the potential of getting him off the streets and into air-conditioned offices. Instead, he’s handed a cold case and quickly finds himself sucked into a shadowy world of sex, secrets and…murder.

Marked for a bullet and stretched thin by his investigations, he reluctantly teams up with the unlikely, brassy custodian of the young woman on the run. With bodies piling up, they go undercover in a nudist resort, determined to catch the killer and bring down the mastermind of the Alliance before someone else dies.

From the dark corners of Orlando’s Little Saigon, to the sunny exposure of Leisure Lagoon, the Naked Eye juggles to keep his balls in the air.

Endorsements:

“Richard Noggin and his trusty sidekick, expose the bare truth about a ten-year-old murder and get to the bottom of an ugly human trafficking scheme. With tight prose and a cast of unforgettable characters, Naked Alliances doesn’t let up until you’ve seen it all!” ~ Tim Baker, author of Eyewitness Blues.

“Interesting settings, believable characters, and a wonderful plot earn this one five stars from me.” ~ C.S. Boyack, author of Will O’ the Wisp.

“Naked Alliances offers a rollicking good time, a dose of evil, a murder to solve, and characters you want to get to know better. All in a well-written package that begs for more stories to come.” ~ Mark Paxson, author of One Night in Bridgeport

“Gritty, heart pounding and wickedly amusing!” ~ Ionia Froment, Top Amazon Reviewer

Amazon Link: http://tinyurl.com/h5akhd9

Twitter: @sknicholls1

Blog: https://sknicholls.wordpress.com/

S.K. Nicholls’ family owns and operates one of the oldest and largest nudist resorts in the nation located in Central Florida, Cypress Cove. Her experience gives her a deep understanding of the lifestyle choice and how it is extremely different from the sex industry, yet harbors clandestine elements of intrigue and fascination. Social issues are at the forefront of her writing. A former sexual assault nurse examiner, she has a special interest in the subject matter of sex-trafficking.

Accused of being the class clown and a daydreamer as a child, life got complicated and she developed a serious side, but never forgot how important it is to laugh. Heinous crimes are highlighted with humor providing entertainment and creating a light crime read with the Naked Eye Series. She is a member of Sisters in Crime, Florida Writers Association, and Writers of Central Florida…or Thereabouts.

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