Tag Archives: action

SCROTUS, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Lisa Burton

Welcome all you veterans and dirt cowboys, you Hog aficionados of all kinds. You’ve landed on Lisa Burton Radio, the only show that brings you characters from the books you love. Today, my special guest is Shawna Kretchman, Chief of police on the Pine Creek Indian reservation. “Welcome to the show, Shawna.”

“Aww…thanks, Lisa. I’ve heard a lot about you. (From my other half, the one with the big mouth…) Really looking forward to meeting you.”

“Nice to finally meet you. We had your friend, Fish, on the show last year.”

“Oh, really? What did he say about me? Gotta tell ya, parts of me are afraid to ask…and I love the guy.”

“Nice things, I promise. He said something about a motor home in Twin Falls, and you putting him in jail, twice. But it was all really nice.”

“That’s right, Lisa. Locked him and his two buds up twice. First, for stealing a humongous RV. But we released them when we found out they had just repoed it. Then, we had to invite them back for another visit, after one of our guys found a stiff in the bus’s freezer. Turned out, it was the RV’s owner, who had gotten popped by his long-suffering girlfriend.”

“How did you wind up going from Twin Falls, Idaho, to the Sioux Reservation?”

“Well, after we cut Fish and his buds loose for the second time, I happened to mention that I ride a Harley, too – just like him. One thing led to another and he invited me down to visit him in Malibu for a few days of sun, good rides and some whatever. I showed up right when he and his two buds were getting ready to leave for a week-long blow-out in Sturgis, South Dakota—the biggest biker party in the biz. So, I rode along. And after three bar fights, a wrestling match in a ring full of chocolate pudding and a firefight with a bunch of hired killers, the rest is history.”

“So what does a week at Pine Falls look like for the Police Chief?”

“Well, it’s a long way from what you probably think. I mean, the Lakota Sioux are a pretty spiritual people in their own way. Treating each other with respect is huge on the Rez. And, since alcohol is banned there, drunks and bar fights are in pretty short supply. Now, we DID have a bunch of petroleum pipeline workers show up on their day off. And, hammered doesn’t even come close. They were inside the supermarket, tearing the place up and looking to pick up where John Wayne left off. Five beat-up store employees and a pair of huge, busted front windows later, I showed up. Tried to give them the choice of peaceably getting with the program, and ended up having to go all Godzilla on their hindquarters. Our visitors took home about fourteen busted teeth, a broken ankle, three crippled knees, one concussion, a dislocated shoulder, two broken jaws…and the grand prize winner got his own personal trache tube after I crushed his windpipe. I guess you had to be there.”

“Whoa…But listen, I heard you recently got involved with something even bigger. Set the stage a bit for us, if you will.”

“Ok, remember that petroleum pipeline that got bullied through a couple of states? Picture this—the president is due to fly out for the pipeline’s big grand opening celebration. I’m out at the state fairgrounds making sure my people are in place for the ceremony. Secret Service agents are running around checking ID’s and taking into their coat sleeves. All of a sudden, a parade of big black SUV’s pull onto the grounds…enough to make it look like a bigtime Mafia funeral. And in the center of the parade is the presidential limo. Before I know what’s happening, some little gerbil scurries over and tells me that President Tiny Fingers just HAS to meet me. So, while I’m walking over to the limo with him, our Liar in Chief tosses all of his Secret Service agents out of the car, because he needs some alone time with me.”

“But it all went off the rails. Tell our listeners what went down.”

“Lisa, off the rails doesn’t even begin to come close. First thing Orange Boy does is cough a whole container of chewed up Tic Tacs into his hand. THEN he shakes hands with me. Then, he gets my name wrong more times than you can count and informs me that he and I are going to have an affair to remember.”

“Ewwwww!”

“Right. Then, the party kicks into high gear. Naturally, I turn down his affair invitation. So, he unzips and whips out the teeniest little skin flute known to man and tries to get me to play a tune on it. As if! So, I tell him ‘no’ in terms any genetic throwback can understand. He sulks out his window for a couple of seconds, then pounces on me. Threatens to have his buddies in Russia pop a cap on me, and then tries to give me a pelvic exam through my uniform pants.

“Now, my momma always said that a lady doesn’t execute a sitting president. So, I did the next best thing. I subdued that idiot, slapped the cuffs on him, read him his rights, and charged him with a boatload of violent felonies, including attempted rape.”

“So is the President in jail right now? I know jurisdictional issues are a nightmare on a reservation.”

“Boy, is he in jail. And, thanks to a prosecutor and judge who agreed with my recommendations about him being a major league flight risk, that’s where he’s gonna stay until there’s a verdict.”

“There must be some political fallout. Did you get called out on Twitter?”

“Fallout? You have no idea. First, the White House sends the Attorney General out to drop the charges. Too bad the reservation is sovereign and separate from the U.S. government, so he has no authority. Then, he tries to bribe the prosecutor and me into dropping the charges, and ends up in the cell next to Orange Boy.

“Then, the White House Chief of Staff orders South Dakota’s governor to activate their National Guard, bust a lot of heads and free the prez. Too bad their commanding general decided to go rogue, and brought the entire guard down to the rez to fight on our side.

“Then, the pipeline company rents a couple of hundred security ‘contractors’ and has them try to break president Tiny Hands out of the slammer. Let’s just say, that puppy wouldn’t hunt.”

“Don’t leave us hanging. Testify, sister. What have they done to you?”

“Well, I did have a couple of days where things didn’t look good. One of the corrupt rocket scientists in Orange Boy’s cabinet talked to somebody. Who talked to somebody else. Eventually the word filtered down to the Republican Sheriff in the state capitol. He passed the governor’s orders along to the head of the county’s SWAT group. Next thing I knew, they grabbed me up in a bogus 911 call, and were going try to trade me for president Tiny Fingers.

“Ok, obviously, I made it out of that. But you’re going to have to read the book to get the whole story. I will say this: we were lucky the president’s cabinet and the Republicans in Congress were so corrupt, stupid and out of touch. They got really cocky when they thought they had us surrounded.

“Which was right where we wanted them.”

“Nobody should be above the law. Right or wrong, you have to trust the process here. Any closing remarks for our listeners today?”

“Well I kind of loved what Fish had to say after the dust settled on the whole thing. “I bet it’s gonna be a long time before another Republican president misbehaves on Shawna’s beat…”

“Shawna, I wish you all the best here. Stay strong and you’ll come out on top, maybe.

“Listeners can learn all about Shawna and how this shakes out in the book SCROTUS So-Called Ruler Of The U.S., by Jeff Lee. I’ll post all the pertinents on the website after I sign off.

“Make sure to use those sharing buttons on your way out today. Jeff and Shawna would do it for you, when your character appears on the next Lisa Burton Radio.”

***

“Fish” Fishbein and his girlfriend, Shawna Kretschman, have a nice, quiet life. He’s L.A.’s repo man and bounty hunter to the stars, and she runs the police force on a South Dakota Sioux reservation.

Then, the President of the United States comes to town. And her quiet life turns upside down when she has to arrest him for trying to forcibly exercise his ‘executive privilege’ on her in the back of the presidential limo.

Shawna wants the tiny-handed prez to stand trial for his assault and a handful of other violent felonies. But first, she and Fish will have to take on a corrupt Attorney General who wants to dismiss all charges, and an army of private security contractors out for blood.

And down in the White House Situation Room, the supremely unqualified, corrupt and wealthy members of the president’s cabinet are negotiating with the Russians to invade the country and free their woman-groping boss.

If this goes on much longer, someone is going to have to step in and save Shawna, Fish and the American people from their own government.

They say that politics makes for strange bedfellows. In SCROTUS’ case, very strange. Very fast-paced and very funny, too. With more Alternate Facts than you can shake a White House Press Liaison at. Imagine All the President’s Men meets Jason Bourne and The Three Stooges.

It’s bigly. It’s beautiful. You’re gonna love it.

It’s a done deal.

Pick up your copy on Amazon: bit.ly/tinyfingers

Born in New York and raised near San Francisco, I’ve been a copywriter and creative director for some of the country’s most creative ad agencies. Won a lot of silly awards for my creativity and wise-ass sense of humor.

And I’ve been writing in L.A. since before KC even HAD a Sunshine Band.

So, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that, given half a chance, this city can be a never-ending cavalcade of rib-tickling fun — and funny — things, people and approaches to this thrill ride we call life.

Like phony televangelists who produce biblical-themed porn for the faithful.

Bat-shit crazy showbiz moms.

Defrocked talent agents posing as Reality Show producers.

The Rose Parade.

And on.

And on.

It never freakin’ ends with this place.

There’s always something — or someone — to gape at and giggle over.

I tell ya, you’ve just GOT to love this town!

It’s the law.

Amazon Author Page: amzn.to/ 20j8CQp    

Facebook Author Page: on.fb.me/1QPczqQ

Website: jeffleewriter.weebly.com

Twitter: @jfredlee

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Beyond Barlow, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Hello all you Lost Boys and Merry Men, you misplaced children of all stripes. You’ve landed on Lisa Burton Radio, the only show out there bringing you the characters from the stories you love. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and today my special guest is Ford Barlow, he’s a runaway stepchild who falls in with a group similar to himself. “Welcome to the show, Ford.”

“Are you…are you of the gods…from out there?”

“In a manner of speaking. And where are you currently?”

“Right here. I mean, in the woods. I wanted to get away from the others for a bit, ya know? And I found this totem in this glade. I’ve never seen one like this before, with lady parts and all.”

“Oh yeah. Now please speak clearly into the ears of the magic totem. Now, Ford, what would make a young man leave his home so suddenly?”

“Well, I’m ashamed to say I made a bad mistake, you see, and someone got hurt, well, killed if I’m honest. I didn’t mean to! It just happened, so I had to leave. I took to these woods and been here ever since.”

“But I understand you’re not living like an animal. There are others in the forest. What can you tell our listeners… um, the spirit thingies about them?”

“Oh yeah! I met these folks ‘bout my age. They call themselves the Wayward Boys and they took me in, treat me good.”

“Camping out with your buds, and living off the land doesn’t sound so bad.”

“No, it ain’t so bad at all. We got along all right, but sometimes are better than others. Winter’s awful hard. Cold cuts right through to the bone and there’s never enough to eat. Whenever we wasn’t all bundled up in our hideout, we’d be out sniffing ‘bout the towns for this and that. I’m ashamed to admit, ma’am or mistress, we take from others now and again when needs must. But I tell you true, it’s not by want, not on my part. All I want’s to get my father’s axe back to him. I took it when I wasn’t thinking straight and, well, I just want him to know I’m better than that.”

“That’s kind of a deep well. Could you maybe slip back one night and leave a note tied around the axe handle?”

“Well, I can’t write and neither can any the Boys, and we don’t have nothing to write with even if we could. And besides, there’s something creeping around out there just now, something nobody’s ever seen before. It’s like demon’s magic or something. Don’t know what it is, but it ain’t good.”

“Ford, I really hope you can find closure with your father somehow. You have to remember that life goes on though. What do you think your future holds?”

“Don’t know…You’re of the gods, maybe you could tell me!”

“Well, um. I guess you have to accept your circumstances and make the best life you can. If you don’t like something, change it.”

“That would be nice… The Boys want to keep me around and I don’t know how I’d get away. Even if I did, where would I go? I couldn’t go back home. They don’t want me back.”

“That’s a problem, for sure. Maybe you can work your way up in the group and find a new life somewhere else?”

“Hmmm, that’s a thought maybe!”

“Any final thought for the, um, spirits today?”

“I just want to give my thanks for the help of the gods.”

“Thanks for, you know, entertaining the spirits today, Ford.

“If you want to read more about Ford and his friends, pick up a copy of Beyond Barlow, by Jason R. Koivu. I’ll post all the deets on the website. Please use those sharing buttons today to help spread the word. I know Jason would do it for you, and we could probably trick Ford into doing the same. For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.”

***

blurb

Ford Barlow is banished from his home and the clansmen he loves after a tragic accident forces him into joining a band of thieving boys. Adventure and fun abound and it seems Ford has found a perfectly fine new home until a mysterious massacre chases the boys away from their beloved woodland hideaway. They pass through a magical and dangerous forest into the arms of conniving bandits. These vicious men and his conscience push Ford to the brink of his moral limits in Beyond Barlow.

Review snippet

“The story was so full of twists and turns that I had trouble putting it down…” – Jasmin Brooks, Amazon user

You can pick up a copy of Beyond Barlow right here.

You can catch up with Jason at jasonrkoivu@mail.com, or on his website.

 

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Blood Match, by Don Massenzio

Don a a great supporter of independent authors, and he’s certainly supported this one. Let’s help him launch his new book today. You might consider following Don’s blog too. He’s the kind of person all authors need to know. – CB

Introducing Kindle Scout Candidate – Blood Match – By Don Massenzio

blood match front coverBlood Match, a new thriller by Don Massenzio is currently a candidate in the Kindle Scout Program.

What is the Kindle Scout Program?

Kindle Scout is reader-powered publishing for new, never-before-published books. … Selected books will be published by Kindle Press and receive 5-year renewable terms, an advance, royalties and featured Amazon marketing.

A Little about the book:

Intelligence analyst Jake Balrich boards his Monday morning flight, as he has so many times, for routine field work. When the plan lands, a passenger fails to wake up. Jake soon realizes that the death was not accidental and that the murderous plot was meant for him.

The situation soon spins out of control with Balrich running for his life trying to prove his own innocence as he struggles with an unknown enemy that seems to guess his every move.

Blood Match is a terrorism thriller examines how far someone will go to reach the height of power and ambition with little regard for human life.

Follow Jake, Balrich as he enlists the help of Commander Brad Rafferty, to take down an enemy more powerful and dangerous than the United States has ever faced.

Some of you may recognize this story. It originally appeared as a weekly serial on my blog under the name Road Kill. The story has been reworked and many extras have been added to turn it into this novel.

Why is it a Kindle Scout Candidate?

If Don’s book is selected for publication by Kindle Scout, it can help take his writing to the next level in terms of exposure and recognition.

How can you help?

First and foremost, you can vote to nominate the book. The campaign goes up on September 20th at midnight and will continue through October 20th. You can vote for it and preview the opening of the book by clicking HERE.

How can you help even more?

Spread the word. Don has made it easy for you using something called Thunderclap. Thunderclap is a social media tool that allows you to effortlessly spread the word using your social media accounts with a pre-written message. All of your followers will receive the message. You can help by signing up for the Thunderclap campaign HERE.

What’s in it for you?

Apart from Don’s eternal gratitude, if his book is selected, you will receive a free pre-launch copy from Amazon and will have the opportunity to officially review it before its launch. That is a free book for you, but it also help, yet again, by allowing the book to launch with established reviews.

Social Media Contacts

Facebook
Website/Blog
Twitter: @dmassenzio
Amazon Author Page

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My GRL Relaunch

“Hi this is Craig.”

“Hello. Is this Craig Boyack of Entertaining Stories?”

“Yes, it is, who’s this?”

“Hey Craig. It’s John Howell of Fiction Favorites.”

“Oh, hi John. I didn’t recognize your voice.”

“I don’t think we’ve spoken before so I’m not surprised.”

“So, what can I do for you, John.”

“You may have heard I’m relaunching My GRL.”

“Yeah I heard about that. You’ve been blogging about it for a while.”

“I know, right? I was wondering if we could do a guest post on your site?”

“So why are you relaunching My GRL.? I liked it first time around.”

“it’s a little complicated but long story short is my contract with the publisher is finished.”

“You can renew, can’t you?”

“Well, yes but I was not so thrilled with the cover which they chose.”

“Ah. You had no cover control?”

“No, and since all the promotion was up to me they never authorized any kind of price discounts. Made it a little tough to attract new readers.”

“You published His Revenge and Our Justice on your own right. How’d you do that?”

“I got a waver on the characters and went ahead and published the next two.”

“Wait. They had the rights to your characters?”

“Yup. For the term of the agreement which was three years. It was clear they didn’t want to publish the next two, so I asked for and received a waiver.”

“Is this character rights thing common?”

“More common than you’d think. That’s why it’s real important for authors to read their contracts carefully.”

“Makes you glad to be an Indie, doesn’t it?”

“It sure does. How about that post? You have an opening.”

“I think we just finished a post. How about we run this conversation. It might help some authors make better decisions on their path to getting published.”

“That would be great, Craig. Oh yes, Let’s not forget to mention My GRL is at a special introductory price of $0.99.”

“You got it, John.”

“Thanks, Craig. Say hey to Lisa for me. Talk to you later.’

“I will. Bye John.”

***

The cover is new and the book edited once again to enhance the experience. What is really nice is the price has been cut for the introduction. You can buy the kindle version for a special introductory price of

$0.99

Here's the blurb.

John J. Cannon successful San Francisco lawyer takes a well-deserved leave of absence from the firm and buys a boat he names My GRL. He is unaware that his newly purchased boat had already been targeted by a terrorist group. John’s first inkling of a problem is when he wakes up in the hospital where he learns he was found unconscious next to the dead body of the young woman who sold him the boat in the first place. John now stands between the terrorists and the success of their mission.


Here is the link to Amazon for the Kindle version

Here is the link to Amazon for the Paper version


Check them out and read the first few pages on Amazon.

Also, you can check out John Cannon's other two adventures, as well as, the new My GRL at John W. Howell’s Author Page

 

John began his writing as a full-time occupation after an extensive business career. His specialty is thriller fiction novels, but John also writes poetry and short stories. His first book, My GRL, introduces the exciting adventures of the book's central character, John J. Cannon. The second Cannon novel, His Revenge, continues the adventure, while the final book in the trilogy, Our Justice, launched in September 2016. All books are available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

John lives in Port Aransas, Texas with his wife and their spoiled rescue pets.

***

I've just gotta add my 2¢ to this one. I've read these books and they are wonderful. With the relaunch, there's never been a better time to jump into the John J. Cannon stories. John Howell has a wonderful blog, and you really ought to check it out, it's called Fiction Favorites.

 

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Fizzle the Drite, on Lisa Burton Radio

Hi, and welcome to another edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and we're going to try something a little bit different today. There is a character I've been dying to interview, but he's kind of hard to catch up with.

Fizzle is a drite, and they can be kind of reclusive. If we don't find him, I may have to think on the fly here for something to broadcast. I have a secret weapon though. I bought a beautiful basket of organic apples the last time I was at Whole Foods.

<Pop>

“OH! You scared me. Are you Fizzle?”

“Fizzle is Fizzle. Told to speak of self here. Uh . . . Fizzle small dragon. Fizzle live in woods. Fizzle leave woods to help friends. Tradespeak hard. Fizzle learn from tiny human. Fizzle love apples. What organic?”

“Oh my gosh, you're so cute. For those listening, Fizzle looks like a dragonfly, in that he's a small dragon with dragonfly wings.”

“Fizzle called drite. Not like big dragons or fake dragons. Fizzle and kind dif . . diffe . . . other thing. Drites small with great magic. Fizzle hide easy and have spell called disin . . . dis . . . make bad things go poof. Friends like warning when Fizzle cast poof spell. Give time to be safe. Fizzle have great aim, so no worry. Oh, drites have long tails too.”

“Don't you guys usually protect a forest or something?”

“Many drites protect nature. Not all. Some lazy and some curious. Fizzle protect Visindor Forest and sword lady’s school. Fizzle there before school, but Betty make yummy apple pies. Betty not sword lady. She friend of sword lady. Fizzle leave home and job to cousin. Plimp odd, but strong and good. He planting pine trees. Says pinecones yummier than apples. Fizzle not agree.”

“So why would you leave that all behind? It must be pretty important.”

<smack, chomp, burp> “Fizzle’s friends need help. Luke get into trouble. He need guarding while part of prophecy. Other champions help, but Fizzle protect Luke first. Also, like Nyx smell and Delvin know how to make apple pie. Timoran fun to perch on too. Sari just fun. Fizzle like having friends. Fizzle make sure they stay safe. Gods tell Fizzle to keep them safe.”

“You're pretty small, what would you do if someone threatened your friends.”

“Fizzle say magic. Fizzle very fast and smart. Stay hidden until strike. Bad people never see Fizzle coming. Well, blue lady did once. Evil Man did too, but Fizzle smack him. Evil Man very scary. Fizzle friends all hurt by him. Fizzle too when caught by surprise. Fizzle no like Evil Man. Rather fight Lich, who is a rotting man. Make that one go poof, but he not stay poofed. Very frus . . . frustr . . . make Fizzle pout.”

“Sounds like they could use some protecting. Do you ever sleep?”

“Fizzle have regular sleep. Also have long sleep. Drites need growing sleep for month to get stronger. Fizzle do this and friends get in trouble. This why friends need Fizzle.”

“That has to be nerve wracking. Maybe they could get a fu dog or something to cover for that year.”

“Fizzle like dogs. Luke like dogs too. Fizzle think that hard topic. Luke miss big dog. Fizzle give many apples to cheer up. Fizzle not worry now. Nyx get stronger and other champions wiser. Only Luke and Sari cause trouble. Timoran say they too young for adult wisdom. Nyx say they need head smack. Fizzle think they hide hurt with fun. Oh! Maybe Fizzle take form of dog. Bad people not expect dog to cast poof spell. Can dogs fly?”

“You know what I think? If you protect the champions, that makes you a champion too.”

“Fizzle no champion. Fizzle protector of champions. Prophecy go on with or without Fizzle and other friends. Fizzle know champions need friends. Though champions do not know that champions need friends to win. Not sure how, but Fizzle feel that right. Old Evil have demons, so why not champions have friends?”

“The champion's mission sounds like a dangerous adventure, but Windemere sounds like it has beautiful places too. Do you ever think you might adopt a new forest once everything is sorted out?”

“Fizzle no know. May take Visindor back or stay with Nyx. Fizzle have strong bond with Nyx. Luke call her city rat. Not sure if Fizzle want stay in city. Depend on what around. Many forests without drites. Fizzle can make new home and new friends. Fizzle can travel and plant a forest of every apple tree in world. Call it Yummy Woods and protect it.”

“Thank you for being with is today, Fizzle. The sponsor of today's show is Charms of the Feykin, the newest entry in the Legends of Windemere series. Don't forget to tip your waitress by clicking on those sharing buttons at the end of the post.

***

To make a champion fall, one must wound their very soul.

Nyx is leading the charge to rescue Delvin and Sari, who have gone missing in the southern jungles of Windemere. Battling through the local predators, the champions are surprised when they reunite in the Feykin city of Rhundar. Instead of captives, the missing heroes have become the city’s rulers and are on the verge of starting a war with those that want to exterminate their new followers. Even with such a noble cause, Delvin and Sari have changed into brutal warlords that may kill each other and their friends long before they step onto the battlefield.

Have Delvin and Sari really changed for the worst or is there a greater threat pulling the champions’ strings?

 

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

 

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com

Twitter: @cyallowitz

Facebook: Charles Yallowitz

Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

 

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Calling all lovers of fantasy

Charles Yallowitz has a new entry into his long running Windemere series. This one promises tension galore. It sounds like there might be dissension amongst the troops. Here’s Charles to tell us about it.

 

Return to Windemere in Charms of the Feykin!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

To make a champion fall, one must wound their very soul.

Nyx is leading the charge to rescue Delvin and Sari, who have gone missing in the southern jungles of Windemere. Battling through the local predators, the champions are surprised when they reunite in the Feykin city of Rhundar. Instead of captives, the missing heroes have become the city’s rulers and are on the verge of starting a war with those that want to exterminate their new followers. Even with such a noble cause, Delvin and Sari have changed into brutal warlords that may kill each other and their friends long before they step onto the battlefield.

Have Delvin and Sari really changed for the worst or is there a greater threat pulling the champions’ strings?

Grab it on Amazon!

Add it to your Goodreads ‘To Read’ List!

Excerpt: Broken Bonds

Sari draws two daggers and sprints at Luke, slashing at his sabers in an attempt to cut his hands as he unsheathes his weapons. Instead, the forest tracker unclips the scabbards from his belt and spreads his arms to avoid the gypsy’s attack. The swords still sheathed, he does his best to deflect his former friend’s strikes while harmlessly smacking her in the sides. When a dagger slices his arm, Luke kicks out to knock Sari back. A hint of a grin on her face causes him to slow his attack, his foot aching as it bounces off her immovable body. Knowing he has to trick her, the half-elf runs backwards to get the gypsy to charge. Before she falls behind, the warrior lets her gradually catch up while remaining out of slashing range. Once Luke reaches the riverbank, he lunges forward and aims a swing at the sprinting woman’s knee. Forced to decide between taking a blow that would surely break bone or risk a similar injury by turning her power on while running, Sari tries to twist out of the way. She lands on her back at the forest tracker’s feet and curses when he pins her arms by jamming his sabers against her wrists.

Before Luke can tell the gypsy to stop struggling, an arm of water bursts from the river and bats him away. Phelan leaps out of the rapids and sprints at the prone warrior, his daggers lengthened by keenly edged liquid. The weapons sink into the muddy earth when their target rolls away, the ringing of drawn steel revealing that the champion is no longer restraining himself. With a flurry of stabs and slashes, the half-elf drives his new opponent back and whittles away at the watery daggers. Trying not to kill the Feykin, Luke delivers an echoing hilt punch to Phelan’s head every time the other warrior attempts a counterattack. Faced with the full speed and skill of the agile forest tracker, the outclassed hunter has various watery weapons fly out of the river. None of them hit the champion, who remains close enough to continue his barrage of muscle-rattling strikes.

Ducking to the side, Luke slashes at the other man’s exposed flank in what he hopes will be a crippling, but non-lethal, blow. The saber clangs off a patch of icy armor and a freezing tremor makes the half-elf’s arm go numb. A searing pain erupts from his lower back and he whirls around, the motion preventing Sari’s dagger from doing more than a long cut across his side. His first saber swings an inch over her head, but his second weapon leaves a gash up the middle of her chin. Enraged by the pain, the gypsy moves out of Luke’s reach and summons a massive hammer of water. She freezes the forest tracker’s feet to the ground before he can move, which allows the large weapon to connect. It repeatedly comes down on the warrior, breaking several ribs and one of his arms. Sheathing his sabers and remaining on the ground, the half-elf draws the stiletto and hurls it into Sari’s thigh. A look of shock is on her face and she stares at Luke’s battered form as if seeing such injuries for the first time.

Need to catch Legends of Windemere from the beginning? Then click on the covers below!

You can start for FREE . . .

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Or grab the $4.99 ‘3 in 1’ bundles!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

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Also Available in Single eBooks:

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover art by Jason Pedersen

Cover art by Jason Pedersen

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Interested in a new adventure? Then grab your Kindle & dive back into the world of Windemere! Don’t forget an apple for Fizzle.

Author Photo

About the Author:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Note from Craig: Come back Thursday and check out Lisa Burton’s special guest, on Lisa Burton Radio.

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Royalty and Chaos on Lisa Burton Radio

 

Welcome to another edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I'm your host, Lisa Burton, the robot girl. This is the show where we interview the characters that make our stories come to life.

We have a very special guest today. Waiting on the telephone is Queen Trinity of the Chaos Elves.

“Welcome, your majesty. It's an honor to have you here today.”

“Thank you for having me. Majesty is definitely a new one from someone outside of my people. Most aren't very happy to see me. Whole assassin and prankster reputation tends to precede me.”

“So the continent of Shayd doesn't sound like a very nice place. Lots of storms, undead creatures, and only a few edible roots. I always thought of elves as being from beautiful places. Why stay there?”

“The simple answer is that it's our home. Long ago, the original elves were evil and conquered the world. Some fought their demonic nature and helped overthrow the others, but there were some who simply stayed out of the fight. That is where the chaos elves come from. We were not cured entirely of the demon taint and were punished to live in the most inhospitable region of Windemere. Still, the region has made us tougher than the other elf races and only the orcs are more vicious.

“There’s also an issue of being the slaves of an immortal warlord who was cursed by the gods to be forgotten by history. His cage was supposed to be the land of demons, but a global disaster warped the borders. So the ‘great and benevolent’ Baron Kernaghan claimed us as his dear, expendable agents. I’m working on fixing that, but it isn’t like I can fight a being that challenged a god. Better to be a good soldier to keep my people alive.”

“About the Baron. If you work for him, does that make you a minion? I love the minions.”

“I prefer the term agent, but I get the sense you’re talking about something cute. Not really sure how to take that. So I have a question. You’re some kind of intelligent golem that looks and acts like a person. Trying not to make this sound offensive, but the closest thing my world has to someone like you are creatures of stone that have no thought of their own. You like some kind of super golem? What kind of enchantments were used to make you independent and be so sentient?”

“Enchanting maybe, but enchanted, no. It's all advanced hardware and software.”

“Never heard of that. Sounds like gnome gibberish. If you’re ever in Windemere then I’d avoid them. At the very least, don’t let your guard down. They’d want to tinker and see if they could either copy or improve. Crazy gnomes always think they can make stuff better or blow it up trying.”

“It might be like that, if they're master builders. I suppose that means Windemere has some pretty fantastic things in it.”

“Chaos elves don’t get to see a lot of the gnome-made stuff. Sadly, we live among zombies and occasional demons. Windemere does have plenty of odd creatures and powerful artifacts due to its potent magic. It’s definitely more of a world of magic than technology, but the latter is making an impact with plumbing and flying cities. Kind of hard to rationalize some inventions when you have people like me flinging fireballs around a battlefield. Though I’ve heard that some people are trying to tame various monsters to do their fighting. Mostly flying beasts to combat those that already use griffins.”

“I like the idea that the women in Windemere are just as capable as the men. Too many girls sit around and wait for someone to rescue them, or get abused only to drive the hero to new recklessness.”

“It’s a rough and tumble world we live in, especially if you take a path that involves combat magic or swords. Not sure how it works in your world, but once you step onto a battlefield here, your gender no longer matters. Honestly, it’s even worse for adventurers because they don’t have an army behind them and find more dangerous obstacles. You really need to be able to endure physical and mental punishment if you want to survive. Though I’m not beneath using some feminine wiles and manipulation to throw off weaker enemies. Whatever works to get the job done.”

“We're going to pause here to mention that today's program is sponsored by The Legends of Windemere series. This is where you'll find Trinity and more characters like her. The new book is called Tribe of the Snow Tiger and it's available right now.

“We've had a run on antagonists on this program lately. You seem more complicated than that. Your motivations seem to be coming from the right place. Care to expand on this?”

“As I said, we’re slaves to an evil being and follow orders to avoid being wiped out. Until recently, we weren’t treated very well, but I’ve made sure that my people have a future. I claimed the throne at a young age and have used my position to be a shield between my master and my people. I share in their punishments, chores, and victories. To them, I’m a hero even though I do bad things to keep myself and them alive. That’s perfectly fine by me.”

“Trinity, it's been a pleasure having you visit with us today. Any last words for our listeners?”

“Thank you for having me. I hope the people listening become curious about my plight and see what happens to me. Maybe also the champions who are the real heroes while I’m forced to be on the wrong side. Still, I’m a lot more interesting, especially in the story that’s about to come to your world. You people have an issue with spoilers, which a chaos elf would normally indulge in spilling, but this deals with me. I'd rather everyone be surprised by what I’m about to do. Let’s just say, I’m through playing nice.”

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Charles is the author of the long running Legends of Windemere series, as well as other titles. He's running a couple of pretty sweet bundle deals right now to help get people started. We have limited space here, but you can find them on his Amazon Author Page, and I encourage you to check them out.

Tribe of the Snow Tiger

Timoran Wrath has a shameful secret that is about to see the light of day.

The noble barbarian has always been a constant source of strength and wisdom for his beloved friends. His loyalty has been unwavering and they know that he would never hesitate to lay down his life for them. Even in their darkest hour, the champions know that Timoran will come through and fight to the bitter end. Now they must return the favor as he reunites with his tribe and willingly faces the executioner’s blade.

Is it possible that the honorable Timoran was nothing more than an illusion?

 

Prodigy of Rainbow Tower

Luke Callindor and his friends are about to learn that the life of an adventurer can be brutally unforgiving.

Hungering for another adventure, Luke agrees to escort the heir of Serab along the L’dandrin River and into the safety of Gods’ Voice. A deadly gauntlet of cunning traps and savage creatures lay before the young warrior and his companions. Lacking the powerful magic needed to combat his enemies, Luke’s survival and victory may be in the hands of his newest ally. That’s if the temperamental Nyx doesn’t set him on fire first.

Luke will bravely face everything that is thrown at him, but how can he defend himself when he’s ignorant of the truth behind his mission?

Beginning of a Hero

Every hero must take the first courageous step into adventure. For Luke Callindor, it’s more of a blind stumble.

Depending more on bravery than common sense, Luke sets out to protect a royal heir who is attending the prestigious Hamilton Military Academy. With a demonic assassin in the shadows, the determined warrior will have to think on his feet to defend his charge. If only he waited long enough to find out which student is the hidden noble.

With Luke’s dream on the horizon and a deadly enemy on his path, how will he transform from a reckless adventurer to a true hero of Windemere?

Special Note: This title is now free to help you get started.

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

 

You can keep up with Charles at the following locations:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com

Twitter: @cyallowitz

Facebook: Charles Yallowitz

Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

 

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