A little of this, a little of that

I’m just doing another flyby because I’m loaning my blog space out a bit in the next few weeks. I decided to rant and joke around for five minutes.

I kind of hate bicycle and helmet lights today. Some of those things are so bright that if I put them on my truck I’d get a ticket. Someone had one so bright this morning that I couldn’t see the road ahead of me.

I’m kind of tired of baseball players showboating too. You’ve probably seen what I’m talking about. Someone gets a hit, and immediately has to kiss a medallion, or cross himself, before pointing at the sky. One guy, yeah I get it. That would be similar to Tebow. Every guy is just grandstanding. They almost look at the camera before pointing upward to make sure the crew caught the image. Kind of doubt God played any role at all in your base hit. If he’s responsible, let’s get him under contract instead.

I’ll probably piss someone off, but I’m down on all the NFL antics regarding the National Anthem too. When you’re in uniform you represent your employer. I have to attend meetings at my paycheck job where the Pledge of Allegiance is recited. I have a hunch if I took a knee it wouldn’t go over too well. Players can feel however they want, but be aware of your responsibilities too. My readers can feel however you want too, but this is how I feel. Note: You’re not going to change my mind.

I’m also sick of the football players who jump in front of the camera and make the call for the officials. They’re wrong almost every time, and their calls always favor their own team. These days they call field goals, fumbles, recoveries, incomplete passes and everything else. Just do your job guys and let the officials do theirs.

Once upon a time, there was an old character actor whose name escapes me. He had a side gig as the Maytag Repairman. Time marched on, and he got replaced, again-and-again. Ronald McDonald was portrayed by multiple actors. Colonel Sanders died, and we have several new Colonel Sanderses Sandersees, whatever. Recently the most interesting man in the world got usurped by a new more interesting guy. I think you get my point here.

I am officially volunteering to be the new Hugh Hefner. I could live in that mansion and hang out with those girls, all for some kind of stipend that keeps me in smoking jackets and pajamas. I’ll also need an expense account to buy gifts for all the girls and that provides enough for legendary party expenses. Those lingere things and fancy shoes aren’t cheap.

How’s it going with all of you?


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36 responses to “A little of this, a little of that

  1. Craig, I laughed so hard at your altruistic volunteer effort to be the Hugh Heffner replacement. Brilliant thought. Fun post.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ha ha ha. I loved the Hugh Hefner offer. You beat me to the punch.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m confused about the baseball thing. Don’t they have to run for the base when they hit the ball? How do they have time to do any grandstanding?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hugh Hefner, huh? Would you shave the beard or keep it?

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I agree on the football. Lots of people are boycotting here. Me, I usually don’t watch sports so that doesn’t do much, lol. Lol on the Hugh Hefner. I suppose Lisa would be the new play bunny or whatever they call them. She’d get even more outfits. She’d like that, I think.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I think we should all have at least one day when we let off some steam and have a rant! Which reminds me…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahahahaha. I might be spitballin’ here, but I’m guessing your wife would kill you if you moved into The Playboy Mansion. I’m also sick of the flag rhetoric. We kneel in front of God. So, what’s the big deal about kneeling in front of the flag? Kneeling is not disrespectful in my view.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Haha, that was HYSTERICAL. You could sell that as a stand-up comedy act!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am always deeply fascinated by the athletes and their gods. I understand superstition, talisman, and tradition in a good run — but I’ve never understood how any deity wanted the Whomevers to win. Gods have team preferences?
    We don’t agree on the kneeling or standing as is expected, but I do see the logic in your employer point all the same. Truly, we all have to do things we don’t like because it is our job to do them. Like any other matter of free speech, one may still be fired as a result. (Or given way too many of the blue sheets or the worst parking space, or whatever.) Tis true, Craig.
    I don’t know that there will ever, could ever be, another Hef. I’m pretty sure the try-outs would be well-attended though!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Enjoyable! You say it well – and, you say for me! There was a time when I would have loved Hef’s job (?)!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’d love to be the Hugh Hefner replacement – I’m old enough to remember the old “Playboy after Hours” show – I’d bring it back and go all Mad Men with it.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Writing Links…10/2/17 – Where Genres Collide

  13. I think you’d make a fine replacement for Hugh.

    Liked by 1 person

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