Darla of Deodanth, on #LisaBurtonRadio

Welcome to this week’s edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and I’m pretty excited to bring you this week’s guest. Darla is someone a bit different in that she’s a regularly occurring short story character. Many famous characters got their start this way, but it’s kind of an old school method. “Welcome to the show, Darla.”

“Hi. Thank you for having me.”

“Darla, my bio says you live in a South American city, high in the mountains, that was actually founded by the Elder Gods. What can you tell me about that?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it South America, Lisa. It’s not exactly in your world. But that’s a long story. Yes, we live in a beautiful mountain city, Deodanth, in the part of our world that would translate to your South America. My people call these creatures The Elders, and most believe they’re gods, but lately I’ve gotten to know one very well, and they are not gods.”

“Wait, so you guys are walking around with these Cthulhu type things in your city? What’s that like? ”

“I’m not sure what a Cthulhu is. You people have great smelly buses and trains chugging around your city. What’s that like? Our Elders are simply The Elders. They’ve been around forever. They brought The People to Deodanth. They have many tentacles they slither around on, leathery wings, in case they need to fly somewhere fast, and huge big eyes that see right into your soul. They’re sort of a combination Kraken, dragon, and Cocker Spaniel. The Cocker Spaniel part would be the soul gaze.”

“Uh… We don’t have dragons in our world. Dragons aren’t real.”

“Oh… Okay. Well you do have giant creatures that fly, don’t you? I saw one in the sky as I was coming to the studio.”

“That was probably an airplane. You mentioned you had trouble with one of the Elders? What’s his name…”

“I can’t tell you his name. Names are very powerful, and I’d get into trouble. What happened was, a woman hired me as a Finder, to find her dog. ”

“Okay… What does a Finder do?

“Just like it sounds, a Finder finds things. You find a lost dog, lost key, lost child. Anything that’s lost. Much like what your detectives do. A Finder finds out what caused a fire, who stole a warehouse full of grain, who killed someone. So the woman with the lost dog had a little of The Sight, and put a weird clause in the contract. If the dog was tortured or killed, she wanted me to kill the one who did it. I was born into an Assassin House, and trained as one, so that clause didn’t bother me. But I didn’t like the work, and was trying different jobs. That was why I was working as a Finder. Finding a lost dog sounded like a simple job and I couldn’t see how it could possibly lead to killing anyone, so I took it. My own dog Rageth is a superb scent hound, and we simply followed the trail of the lost dog. It led us to the house of an Elder. I didn’t want to go in, it’s a great breach of courtesy, but Rageth insisted the trail led there, so … so I sneaked in. I’m not proud of it, but I wanted to find that dog, and it seemed the only way. I guess I can tell you this, because all of Deodanth probably knows by now. The Elder caught me snooping and threw me into his fungus garden. It’s in a cavern many storeys beneath his house. That’s where I found the lost dog.”

“Wait a minute here. The Elder God was feeding a live doggie to his fungus garden? That would piss me off to the point of being a dangerous robot.”

“The Elder had been secretly capturing people and creatures from Deodanth, and feeding them to his garden. The place was full of mounds of soft dead bodies. The smell was overpowering, the air full of fungus spores. The lost dog, Brevert, and I both became infected, and barely got out alive. It got under our skin and was itchy and painful. It would have eventually filled our bodies completely and been a terrible way to die. We lost all our hair. Assassins don’t lose their hair over a job, and my mother never let me hear the end of it. The treatment was almost worse than the disease. When we finally recovered, I was very angry, and vowed to kill The Elder. Which in fact I did. It was not easy. It felt strange working as a Finder, and killing someone, but I least I didn’t have to find out who did it. But killing an Elder brought the attention of the other Elders. Never a good thing. If we know anything in Deodanth, it’s to keep a low profile.”

“That sounds to me like a good time to get out of town. What did you do?”

“I needed to wait till the uproar died down, so I made nice with my mother and cooled it in the Assassin’s House for the winter. Grew my hair. The valleys below Deodanth are full of ancient ruins, and I guided an expedition in the spring to explore the ruins of Machu Hampacchu. Legends persisted of spirits dwelling there, and there was no telling what we might find. And we found them. The Toads of Machu Hampacchu. It was an incredible experience.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“Yes. When I’m not terrified out of my mind, I’m excited.”

“That sounds like a nice segue to another story. I’ve got to tell you, Darla, I’m incredibly attracted to a story titled The Toads of Manchu Hampacchu. There’s so much intrigue in the title. So what’s that one all about?”

“It’s hard to describe. I realize now that there’s more to our worlds than I ever knew or could imagine. For one thing, The Toads are real. But you wouldn’t want to visit them. They’re old, and they’re cranky, and enjoy snacking on humans as much as the next guy. They’re more or less retired and into gardening now. But before the toads and I reached an understanding, the expedition was in big trouble. And on top of that, I found out that the Elder I killed wasn’t quite as dead as I had thought. If it weren’t for the Toads, the people on the expedition and I wouldn’t be alive today.”

“You have such an interesting life, Darla. Do you think your mother will ever let you leave the assassin’s life behind, or is it like a source of side money for you? I mean, you could try being an Uber driver.”

“The Elders are Uber enough for me, thank you. Being an assassin pays well, and you get to wear cool clothing, but not everyone’s cut out for it. My mother must learn this. I need to get away from Deodanth for a while and let her cool off. The next thing I know, she’ll be pressuring me to find a husband and start a family, and I’m not ready for that. First, I want to find out what I’m good at, and what I really want to do with my life. Part of an expedition guide’s duties is to resupply the camp sites, so I’m going to go to the Cirque of Ponies, round some up for carrying supplies, and go down to the coast to buy firewood. That should be a simple task, and I’m going to have a vacation and see the sights. I hear they have great food, many exotic wares in their markets, and snails big as houses. I’m really looking forward to it.”

“It all sounds so interesting. Any closing comments for our listeners today?”

“Hmm. Yes. No matter how much you want to, don’t kill an Elder.”

“If you want to read all about Darla’s ongoing adventures, they can be found in the pages of Cirsova Magazine #5. I’ll post all the deets on the website.

“Help a robot girl out. This show functions by spreading the word about characters and the stories they appear in. It helps me keep the lights on around her when you use those sharing buttons. Tell your peeps about Darla of Deodanth on Facebook, Google Plus, and Twitter. For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton.”

***

Purchase your copy of Cirsova #5 here: https://www.amazon.com/Cirsova-Fantasy-Science-Fiction-Magazine-ebook/dp/B06XHJMSS3

Louise Sorensen:

My whole life I painted pictures, until we had a really bad Ice Storm, January 1998. No electricity for nine days in the worst of the Canadian winter. Woodstove burning 24/7 to keep the house from freezing. After that I couldn’t paint anymore. But my muse wouldn’t leave me alone, so I started writing. Been at it ever since. Live on a farm in eastern Ontario, with one dog, two cats, five equines and a wonderful husband.
Social media:

Twitter: @louise3anne

Facebook: Louise Sorensen

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26 Comments

Filed under Lisa Burton Radio

26 responses to “Darla of Deodanth, on #LisaBurtonRadio

  1. Pingback: Darla of Deodanth, on #LisaBurtonRadio — Entertaining Stories | Fantasy Sources: Art, Gifts, Ideas, Article Resources, News

  2. what a great imagination this lady has!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a great interview. So creative! Best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Another nice interview. Wishing Louise the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Great creativity springing from this interview. I love the fungus garden. Cheers, Craig, to you and Louise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wasn’t that great! I’ve gotten to meet some pretty creative people doing these, and collaboration with them is an honor. Seems to me you have a book about San Francisco… maybe you need a place to promote it in cyberspace.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This sounds like a really good story. I have made a note of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Another Lisa Burton hit!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Super interview. It is nice to meet Louise.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Think I’d run the other way if I happened upon one of those Elders.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi EveryOne. Nice to meet you all. Darla and I thank you for the wonderful thoughts and comments. 🙂 Louise

    Liked by 1 person

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