Hello, everyone, Harmony Kent here. Welcome to my tour stop on the Story Empire Roadshow. First of all, I would like to give Craig a huge thank you for hosting me today. Yesterday, we did a bit of exploring around the murky world of The Forest of Dean, the setting for my Mystery/thriller, The Glade. Today, having had so much fun the first time around, I thought we could revisit an interview between Craig’s awesome Lisa Burton and one of my side characters from Interludes (the naughty book). And, remember, throughout this week, I’ve set up offers on Kindle deals on some of my books, so do visit the other tour stops for details of which books and when the discounts are happening. The most prolific commenter at the end of the tour will get to choose ONE copy of any TWO of my ebooks!
Lisa Burton Presents …
‘This is Lisa Burton, the robot girl, and this is Lisa Burton Radio. Don’t touch that dial, because we’ve got some hot and steamy erotica lined up for you today.
‘Our sponsor today is Interludes, by Harmony Kent. This is a steamy group of erotic short stories for adults.
‘Our guest today is Giles Fontaume, a wealthy businessman from New York.
‘Welcome to the show, Giles.’
‘Hello, Lisa. Actually, it’s Mr Fontaume. Would you be good enough to tell me the reason for this call?’
‘We’ve gotten a report that you were involved in a yachting accident where a young woman went missing. What can you tell our listeners about that?’
‘You have me on air now?’
‘Oh. <cough> . Yes. The Elloise—’
‘That would be your yacht, correct?’
‘Correct. We left Coffs Harbour en route for Monterey Bay … taking the scenic route. Nine days out, the …<ahem> … young lady in question jumped ship.’
‘Okay Mister Fontaume, but the world wants to know what happened to poor Stella? I have newspapers from Brisbane, Tokyo, London, New York, and even Entertainment Tonight, and all of them want to know what happened to her? Where did she disembark?’
‘I hardly think that’s at all relevant. I hired the woman to waitress for the trip, and she failed to execute her duties.’
‘Yes, but she hasn’t been seen since you left Coffs. Again, Giles, where did Stella disembark, exactly?’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake. It’s not my fault she took it into her silly little head to jump overboard in the middle of the Pacific. I mean, how stupid do you have to be? I threw her a life jacket; what more could I have done? Surely, I don’t have to tell you how utterly awful my travels were without a proper waitress. Damned inconvenient.’
‘The life jacket was magnanimous of you. Did you even think about turning back for her? It isn’t like she could swim to Monterey Bay.’
‘Turn back? Are you mad? I couldn’t possibly go back. No, that wouldn’t do at all. I had a schedule to keep. And, of course, that idiotic stunt was her idea. No, no. The silly woman isn’t my responsibility at all. Besides, I’m sure we were near a shipping route. Yes, most likely some other boat picked her up. You understand that I couldn’t have my whole trip disrupted because one of my minions decided to duck out of her obligations. I mean, she knew what I expected from her when she took the position.’
‘It looks like we have a caller. I hope it’s one of the networks, like BBC or someone. Hello, caller, you’re on the air with Lisa Burton and Giles Fontaume.’
‘Hi, this is Stella. I just heard the show, and called to speak with Giles.’
‘Stella! You’re safe? Thank goodness. What would you like to say to Giles?’
‘Giles, you’re an arsehole. I nearly drowned. Not to mention the sharks. How could you have just left me to die?’
‘Oh, please. That’s just like you to over-exaggerate. Besides, you’re the one who jumped. I should sue you for the inconven—’
‘Jumped? I fell, and you know it. After you pushed me. If you hadn’t tried to force yourself on me, it would never have happened in the first place. And, as for your comment about me not fulfilling my duties, I’d like to know where in the contract I agreed to sleep with you? As far as I’m concerned, waitressing means just that. I never signed up to serve you in other ways. You might have thought it’d round off your evening bourbon on the aft deck, but—I promise you—it was nothing more than harassment.’
‘Oh, calm down, woman. I ought to have known better than to employ an hysterical female. It’s not as if anything bad happened to you.’
‘Oh, no, of course not. I only drifted at sea for days on end with nothing to drink or to protect me from the sun. It’s a pure fluke that sharks didn’t eat me for breakfast. Only chance washed me up on that small island. And if a Hawaiian native hadn’t been there on retreat … well, I dread to think what … I would’ve starved to death. I should report you for attempted murder.’
‘That’s terrible, Stella, but we’re all glad you’re safe. I don’t know what I would do under those circumstances; robot girls don’t float. Walk until my battery died I suppose. So where are you now?’
‘I’m in Hawaii with the guy who saved me. And, believe me, he’s so much more man than Giles will ever be … um, yes, he’s all man. Anyway, the reason I rang in … I need a Green Card, and Giles can get me one as my employer. It’s all his fault that I’m stuck here in this position.’
‘What’s stopping you from going back where you came from, to the UK?’
‘Well, let me see. Oh, right, all my possessions and money stayed on your little yacht.’
‘It’s hardly little—’
‘And, I’m pregnant. So, no, going back isn’t an option. And I don’t want to. That was never in my plans, and I’ll be dammed if I’m gonna let you muck it all up.’
‘Don’t look at me to sort out your problems. Why should I? You’ve done nothing for me but give me trouble. And as for that trashy book you left on board … Interludes, was it? I’ve never read such smut. That tells me everything I need to know about the kind of girl you are. Those stories are so hot they burned the pages. Ugh, all that romance—I can’t stand it, no matter how much you dress it up with alien hunks or hot shifters or dying heroines. And now you’re pregnant. Well, no surprises there. You are so not my problem.’
‘Well, Mister Fontaume, it sounds like you’ve read Stella’s whole book, so—obviously—it grabbed your attention.’
‘Interludes isn’t trashy, and neither am I. The book is a sexy collection of short stories that has a well balanced mixture of romances including contemporary erotic romance, shifter romance, alien romance, and historical romance, that will appeal to everyone. From sweet to hot; to friendship and second chances; to a variety of real life issues that the characters deal with, Harmony lets us experience enjoyable and steamy erotic romance short stories that will leave any reasonable reader wanting more. But then, we all know by now that you’re anything but reasonable, don’t we, Mr Fontaume? You’ve just proved, again, how selfish and out of touch with everyday people you are. Now, about that Green Card?’
‘I swear, if you don’t help this poor woman, I’m going to hack into your accounts and make life miserable for you. I’m a robot girl, and I can do it too. I won’t leave a single track. Her author already put her through enough, and most of it’s your fault.’
‘Hawaii’s nice. I want to stay here. And Kaimi is gorgeous and kind and … yes, well, things got a tad steamy on the island. It took a long time for him to nurse me back to health, and we’ve fallen in love. The thing is, I’m not ready to get married, not yet, and definitely not just to get my American citizenship—I’m not that sort of girl. Giles promised me a Green Card at the Monterey end of my waitressing gig. So come on, man, give it up. You owe me big time. Of course, I’m glad Harmony eventually came through for me, but an extra paragraph or two about a settlement or a Green Card would have helped, you know.’
‘You don’t get it. You didn’t finish your contract. So, no Green Card from me. You have to earn it—’
‘Okay, time to wrap it up, folks. We’ve heard enough from Giles for one lifetime. One last word for our guest; I know lots of lawyers and barristers, and I’m sure they’d love to hear about Stella’s plight and how Mr Giles Fontaume of New York left her for dead after she fought off his unwanted advances. On behalf of all our listeners, I’d like to offer my condolences for everything you’ve been through, Stella. We are delighted that you made it through what can only have been a horrendous experience. And it’s great to hear that you’ve found love. Sounds like your island stay might have been rather … interesting.
‘For Lisa Burton Radio, I’m Lisa Burton. I’ll post all the details about Interludes, by Harmony Kent on the website.’
I’d love to hear what some of your favourite characters are from books you’ve read. Thanks so much for stopping by!
My website/blog: http://harmonykent.co.uk
My twitter handle: @harmony_kent
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