Dear Lisa, on #LisaBurtonRadio

This is Lisa Burton Radio, and I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl. One of the things I've wanted to try is sharing some of the mail we get on the air. So here we go.

I've gotten a lot of mail about my tattoos. The questions vary, so I'll try to cover as much as I can and hopefully your answer is in there somewhere.

When I was first booted up, they gave me a job, planted me in a house, and abandoned me. I found myself with days off as part of my cover. Nobody was supposed to know I was a robot, so I had to live like everyone else. I spent a lot of my off-time at the open air markets and street festival. All the other girls that summer had a kind of retro-style going on, so I adapted it to fit in better. It's still a popular sub-culture, and I still enjoy it.

The other girls had tattoos, and I really didn't know if I could get one or not. I'm covered with a genetically modified human skin, and it's fed by a hydroponic layer from underneath. Basically, I gambled whether it would work or not.

My leg is based upon a silk painting I saw, but I changed it up to things I like. There are koi fish on my ankle, mandarin ducks on my leg, and a persimmon tree with fruit up on my hip. They're always in odd numbers, so three fish, five duckies, and seven persimmons.

My shoulder has a chambered nautilus out hunting. Mathematical things appeal to my programming. I like bricks and tiles. The perfect spiral of the nautilus is just awesome. My tattoo artist came up with the ruins she's hunting among, and I went with it.

It hurt, and my pain receptors worked pretty hard. I don't know if I felt it exactly like you might, but that's the only experience I have. The ink stayed, and I love them.

A couple of you wanted to know about my hair. It's real hair, and seems to have become permanent. I wore a wig until the lab decided to test some new baldness drug on me. They painted it wherever they wanted me to have hair. My skin registered some pretty serious chemical burns, but the hair grew. They never released the drug for human consumption. I guess, in a way, it's okay to experiment on a robot girl. At least I saved some poor rabbit from the same experience.

I don't have hair anywhere they didn't paint me. I'm okay with that, because I never have to shave. I like my hair, and my brunette wig didn't look nearly as nice.

This one says, “Dear Lisa, what it's like working for an author?” I only know about one author, but it isn't a bad gig. Craig mostly likes peace and quiet when he writes. That and a couple gallons of coffee. This is his quiet phase.

There are times when he gets all manic, and excited about stuff too. Those are the times when we assemble a cast of characters and go over dialog together. If it doesn't sound right, he changes things and we do it again. Sometimes I get to swing weapons around, shoot guns, and even mix up magical ingredients. Those are fun days, but then it's usually back to more quiet time.

Eventually it becomes time to publish something. I'm the one who arranges blog tours, places Amazon advertising, and nearly everything else. Over the course of the last few books I've gotten to pose with various story elements and share my posters with various blog hosts. I really enjoy that part of the job.

It helps that I have a swag deal that lets me keep the clothing and various things I pose with. That's how I got the formerly haunted biplane, the rocket-pack, and more.

So how about it gang? Do you like an occasional Dear Lisa segment? There are a lot of places I could go with this. I could get a sponsor, like one of your books. I could read your letters on the air, and include links to your social media. To do that, I need a couple of things.

First, I need more questions. It might be cool not to make them all about me. Maybe the odd advice question could be fun. Maybe you'd like to know how Craig sets up his book releases, or how he outlines things. If you like this segment, send me some questions.

Second, I would need someone to volunteer as a sponsor. It isn't bad exposure for the price of free. Maybe you have a price reduction, or an anthology to promote. My regular interviews are better for a new release, but a bundle or anthology would make a good sponsor.

Speaking of my interviews, I always need guests. If you have a new book coming out, maybe something freshly released, or even a special price reduction, a character interview could entice a few buyers. Drop me a line and we'll set something up. I need more guests right now.

Craig said I could use an anthology he's in as an example. It might sound something like this… Today's sponsor is Macabre Sanctuary, a collection of ten short stories by ten fabulous authors. These tales are all paranormal, supernatural, and horror, guaranteed to make your hair stand on end. Pick up your copy today for the amazing low price of absolutely free. Macabre Sanctuary.

For Lisa Burton Radio, I'm Lisa Burton. And seriously, you guys, drop me a question or set something up for a character interview. I think Craig wants to turn my radio station into a chicken coop.


Filed under Lisa Burton Radio

53 responses to “Dear Lisa, on #LisaBurtonRadio

  1. I have a few interviews and guest posts to pass around. Brandi loved being on the show and having her art on her author’s website is cool, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very cool segment. Definitely nice to get to know her better. So, what was Lisa’s first job?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I’d like to volunteer Samhain Jackknife for a spot on your show. He’s the narrator of my work in progress, “Bad Dreams & Broken Hearts”–right now I have no estimated publication date.

    Sam plays jazz theremin, and I’d like to work the interview around his music–what are Lisa’s musical tastes, and how would she handle an interview with a musician?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a great gig for Lisa Craig! πŸ˜€ Once I have a moment to get all the new projects I have simmering into some sort of order I’d definitely like to talk sponsorship with you for the publishing side of things where I want to expand a sweep for submissions. Hopefully be in touch with something more fleshed out for you in a few weeks time once the holidays are calmed down! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s fun getting to know Lisa better. This was a great segment. I need to come up with some questions for her and work on an interview, too. I’ve got my first rounds of edits back on A COLD TOMORROW and have to turn them around this weekend. I haven’t scheduled any promo on that book yet and know I have to get busy. Visiting Lisa is on my list!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Craig, I’m always up for any kind of promo you run. I’m happy to sponsor one or more of these types of posts, and I have a new release that Lisa might like (for interviewing purposes with my main character). And Lisa, thanks for answering my question about the tattoos. I hadn’t considered you were programmed with pain sensors. That sucks (from a pain perspective) but is also kind of cool, since you can now relate better to us. I’m sure I’ll think of more questions for you soon, and in the meantime, I loved this post. Looking forward to more Q&As from you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m still hoping we’re on for next week. That one is really fun. You’re always welcome here. Interviews are my favorites, but sponsoring could produce some results for you too. Notice I snuck Macabre Sanctuary into this one.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Nice segment πŸ™‚
    I enjoyed her hair and tattoo commentary. She could never be a brunette. How silly!

    Shared, hope y’all get some clicks on Macabre Sanctuary πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. N. N. Light

    Love getting to know Lisa better. I have all my e-books on sale December 16-19 (mostly romance) so if you need a sponsor, I’m up for it. Send me an email, Craig.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Everything about Lisa is f.a.s.c.i.n.a.t.i.n.g. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

  10. N. N. Light

    I mean with my writerly/authory duties. I can handle the baking. My in-laws, now that’s another story, lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dear Ask Lisa,

    Lately my boyfriend is always showing up late. He tells me football practice ran late, but I’ve got my doubts. I’ve also noticed him checking out my fellow cheerleaders when he comes to pick me up. But I’m afraid if I confront him, he’ll leave me. He’s the most popular in school. I can’t lose him! What should I do?


    Heartbroken in high school.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I love Lisa’s tattoo menagerie, and very brave of her too.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Another well-done segment, Craig. I do hope people who tuned in to my Marketing 101 workshops are now regularly visiting you. Lisa has definitely taken on a life of her own and you have me believing she really does bring you coffee. πŸ™‚ I would welcome a chance to be a guest on her show, but I am not sure my genre of published books would appeal to your readers as they are all true stories. Keep it in mind and see how it sets. It could be fun given Lisa’s personality.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m hoping they will archive them next month. It’s a priority for me to see them. I wasn’t going to pass up a day with Dad though, sorry. I’d love to put together an interview. Drop me a line, and I’ll send you the questionnaire. Coldhand (dot) Boyack (at) gmail (dot) com. Don’t know if the Dear Lisa segment will catch on, but I’m always trying new things.

      Liked by 1 person

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