Stick out your plate for another helping of Macabre Macaroni

Automobile Envy

“Man, that was some spread. Tony made his campfire beans, Jerry smoked those ribs for two days, and Mrs. Herrick made that wonderful peach dessert.”

“It’s time to leave, Mr. Arbuckle.”

“What’s the rush? There’s family here I haven’t seen in years. My sister came all the way from Pensacola, and my son’s never met her before. Good food, plenty of cool drinks – ”

“True, but they are breaking up now.”

“Let’s check out the car. Why is it the oil men and ranchers could afford Cadillacs, and us farmers get by with rusted old pickups? I don’t want any cattle horns on the hood; nothing like that. I always wanted a convertible. Something with enough room to take my whole family to church.”

“It’s very nice.”

“Do you see those leather seats? Look at the leg room it has. No more throwing the kids in back of the truck under a blanket. I want to ride in it. Wave to everyone in town. Old man Maughan can afford to give me a ride. Get in.”

“Alright, as long as we don’t take too long. We have things to do.”

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud. Look at that carpet. No metal floorboards here. Of course, white wouldn’t be my choice. I’d get a nice sensible brown. It might hide the farm dirt for a day until I could get to the car wash.

“Look we’re going past the feed store. Wave at them. And there’s the old folks’ home. There’s Marie and Jack. They waved back, see?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That old biddy, Nurse Davis didn’t wave though. She’s a tough one. It’s so pretty and green out today, not a cloud in the sky, you think that would take the sour look off her face. There’s the oil rigs pumping. I’ll bet all of them own a Cadillac. I should have bought one. Maughan is a lucky man. They won’t let me drive anymore, not for a few years now.”

“No, sir.”

“Look over there to the left. Those light poles are at the football field. My son ran for three touchdowns there about twenty years ago. These seats are so soft my back doesn’t hurt at all anymore.”

“It is a very nice car. But we really need to go. The hearse is pulling up to your grave now.”

“I suppose you’re right. Thank you for letting me ride in the Cadillac, even if it was the last ride I’ll ever take.”

***

If you’re enjoying Macabre Macaroni this year, you might enjoy my Experimental Notebooks. They’re full of short stories and micro-fiction across the speculative genres. Plenty of paranormal stories though, if you’re looking for some Halloween reading. At 99Β’ each you really can’t go wrong.

The Experimental Notebook of C. S. Boyack

The Experimental Notebook of C. S. Boyack II

 

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27 Comments

Filed under Short Stories & Vignettes

27 responses to “Stick out your plate for another helping of Macabre Macaroni

  1. Another master stroke from the master of the macabre!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fun! Leaves me with a ton of questions..,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent. Kind of sweet too since he got a last wish.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice! I thought maybe he was in a home having a delusional moment, but that was so much better. Didn’t see it coming!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cool twist at the end. I was fixated on him wanting a brown car; never saw the ending coming. Kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I just knew you were going sneak one of your famous twist lines at the end when we had read so far without anything nasty happening. You’re so clever.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hail to the King of Flash Fiction!! Well done, Craig!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Somehow you got into my spam filter. I noticed you’ve been a regular commenter. I’m so sorry for that. Glad you liked this MM. Feel free to talk about my marketing efforts at the conference if you like too. Do you need some of my artwork or anything?

      Like

  8. A most excellent MM, if you don’t mind me saying so! 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I liked this one because the hints were very subtle. I thought it strange he had to go when folks were still there but didn’t put it together. Super job, Craig.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Too bad he waited so long. An entertaining read. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Excellent twist ending. I did not see that coming!

    Liked by 1 person

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