Caledonia on Lisa Burton Radio

Today, on Lisa Burton Radio, we're in the studio with two very special guests from the series, Caledonia. I'm your host, Lisa the robot girl, and my guests today are Detective Inspector Leah Bishop and Robert Burns, national poet of Scotland and vampire. “Welcome you guys. Thanks for joining me.”

“Thank you for having us.”

“My bio says Robert is actually the Robert Burns, the famous poet. How are you still around? You have to be like 220.83 years old.”

“I’m a vampire. And you know what they say, age just makes a man more experienced.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a robot.”

“Always on the lookout for new experiences.”

“All right, Rabbie, slow it down.”

“So, Robert. You’re immortal. And you still live in Scotland after all those years?”

“Of course. I guard the gate to Faerie. It’s behind a bar in a small pub in the Highlands.”

“That explains Robert, where do you fit in, Leah?”

“I was a folklorist and became a police officer. Caledonia Interpol offered me a job and I took it. I was getting away from a bad past. Then I found out everyone working there aside from me was a monster. My partner, Dorian Grey, is a selkie. We investigate supernatural crime.”

“That's juicy, he was supposed to be a good looking man. Is there anything going on with you guys?”

“Not a chance in hell. Dorian’s taken anyway, but we’re best friends. He’s bisexual, like all selkies; makes their purpose as creatures that comfort people unhappy in love a lot easier.”

“Tell us about what you're working on now, Leah.”

“There’s a serial killer in Glasgow – the first serial killing of faeries the supernatural world has ever seen.”

“Killing fairies is heinous, I hope you catch whoever is doing this. What’s going to happen if you don’t?”

“Usually they call in the human police to investigate crimes like this one. This is the first time it’s been systematically done to the Fae.”

“And, don't forget Leah, with selkies involved, the killer might have just inadvertently doomed the world.”

“So, it’s pretty important then?”

“Yes. We investigate supernatural crime exclusively, and this is one of the first crossovers into the human world or human behavior we’ve ever seen.”

“Sounds like you have your hands full.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“So Robert, what drags you into this story?”

“Well…I…”

“He’s in stupid love with a monster called Desdemona.”

“It’s not stupid. How dare –”

“We’re the ones that have to deal with you mooning around like an idiot all the time.”

“Ooh, tell us about Desdemona. That's a pretty name.”

“Well, Lisa, we met during the Fae Wars, when I was still human. Des –”

“She hates being called that.”

“Des is incredible – a baobhan sith vampire and the commander of the Fae army during the opium wars. You’ve never seen anything so beautiful and terrifying all at once.”

“Sorry, Lisa, he’ll go on about this for hours. Desdemona is a vampire, she’s also a bellydancer and owns a club in the Glasgow city centre. This idiot’s been chasing her for centuries.”

“She’s not interested?”

“I’m not sure she even understands love in the traditional human sense. Baobhan sith are not emotional creatures.”

“Now wait a minute. You don’t know that. It could happen.”

“Unlikely.”

“That's so tragic. Pining away for all eternity over someone who isn't interested.”

“There’s always hope.”

“You’ve got it bad.”

“Of course.”

“New topic you guys, I'm excited to tell our listeners about all your success. Many of us main characters would kill for your kind of success. Not only have you enjoyed eight books and counting, but there is also a television series, and a movie. What has it been like to have actors portray you?”

“Well, they’ve had three different women play me. I’m like Doctor Who in that way. Or James Bond.”

“The actor playing me is very handsome. The likeness is uncanny.”

“Yes, I approve of him.”

“You would.”

“Are you calling me a pervert, Robert?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, but you thought it.”

“I can neither confirm nor deny.”

“Anyway, all the actors are doing a fantastic job. I’m looking forward to the next installment.”

“Yes, Burns Night. I’d like to see how that turns out.”

“The tragic hero of the story.”

“I’m not tragic!”

“Of course not. I think it’ll be fantastic. The film builds on the previous stories but can also be watched as a stand-alone show.”

“Yeah, and in this one we both work together. Dorian vanishes and Robert gets roped in to helping me find him.”

“I only did it for Des.”

“You always say that. That night was one hell of an adventure.”

“Agreed. The film is worth checking out.”

“That's wonderful you guys. I wish you every success, and I hope you catch that killer. Sadly, we're out of time. Our sponsor today is the Caledonia Series by Amy Hoff. I'll include all the links on the website.”

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