Otto woke up at 5:00 this morning. My normal routine is to put him outside while I brush my teeth, make coffee, fill his food and water dishes, etc. As I left the bedroom I heard, “Psst, hey buddy?”
“Down here, under the bed.”
“Hey there, under-the-bed monster. Haven't heard from you for a while.”
“There's a reason for that. This place got scary months ago, most of us have been afraid to come out at night.”
“You mean there's something that even monsters are afraid of?”
“Yeah, the dog.”
“Really? I seem to remember something from the distant childhood about my old dog keeping the monsters away at night.”
“Well it's true. It's been true since humans and canines first struck their truce in a cave over in Europe. He nags me, day and night. I've had to retreat to the farthest corners and keep quiet for months now.” He rattled to the edge of the bed. “That thing watches me, day and night, it never ends.”
“That has to put a damper on your relationship with missing-sock monster.”
“You have no idea. Your stupid dog steals all the socks now. She went to visit her brother in Park City.”
“Yeah, maybe he is getting a tiny bit out of hand. It's hard to get some things done like I'm used to.”
That's my keyboard and hand you're eating there.
Hey, Dad. I like bath time too. Can I get in?
Aww, Dad. How come you shut the door when you use that toilet thing? I'm sure I can help.
“A tiny bit out of hand? I'm telling you, I've been trying to sleep when the dog does. That doesn't leave a lot of time to wander the house at night and misplace all your things.”
“I'll see what I can do. I've been trying to sleep when he does too. His hours leave something to be desired. You're going to have to adjust though. There's a long history between me and dogs. They're part of the natural fauna of a happy household.”
“Yeah, yeah. There are grizzly bears in the woods too, but I wouldn't want one in my neighborhood. I appreciate you looking into this. Maybe I can get missing-sock monster to come home again.”
I shuffled to the kitchen, went about my chores and let him back in. Otto shuffled right back to his bed and went to sleep. Yup 5:00 and I'm up for the day, while he sleeps in. Maybe it is time to set some boundaries.