My mind is stuck in a bad place

I was going to produce some more of my craziness tonight to talk about my writing. Maybe Lisa could have tea with the caveman character that mentor’s yak guy through part of his journey.

Something happened that keeps my mind focused on other things. Most of you seemed to like a post I wrote on December 12, 2015. This was a story about a guardian angel with a mild Christmas bent. You can review it here, if you’re so inclined.

Take a look at this diaper bag.

d13c5f1b-6cb6-4a42-90f5-b65dc67b37d1-large16x9_DIAPERBAG

It looks to be in good repair, none of the stitching is loose. It looks like a brand new bag to me. Someone bought it in anticipation of a new baby. The police found it alongside the street in Twin Falls, Idaho, on December 31st. It contained a dead newborn girl.

You can read the news article here, if you like.

There have been many articles since, and I’ve been following them. So far, the police haven’t used the words “foul play.” I suppose it is possible that a stillborn baby was discarded by someone. I understand depression, anxiety, and other issues cause people to do strange things.

The city planned an elaborate funeral for the girl they named Angel Rose. A funeral provider is donating everything, including a headstone. They have been held up in their plans, because the body has not been released, and may not be released this month.

It sounds like there is suspicion here, and not talking about it is smart. I have no medical skills, but if she were a stillborn, I imagine they’d know by now.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that I wrote about this subject before it happened. I can’t even use it as story fodder. (Okay, I could, but probably won’t. There are a lot of gifts given to the first baby born in the new year. Plus it lends itself to an imaginary friend kind of ghost story.) It weirds me out, but this isn’t really about me. Moving back on target.

The case led to more articles about Idaho’s Safe Haven law. This is a law that provides for someone to drop off an infant, less than 30 days old, at a number of safe locations – and no questions are asked.

The comments that go along with the Safe Haven articles really chap my behind. People dragged out their soapboxes and ranted about justifying this kind of behavior. They preached anti-abortion, planned parenthood, asked where the grandparents were, where the father was, and generally thought the Safe Haven law should be stricken from the books.

I never really talk politics here, because I like to hear different opinions. I’m a conservative, own guns and everything. I’m not completely in favor of abortions myself, but not completely against them either. Other blogs exist to handle political discussions.

What the commenters seem to be missing, is that this law isn’t about rewarding loose morals, or enabling people to pass their mistakes off on society. The law exists to protect the life of Angel Rose and those like her. No more- no less. Poor little Angel didn’t ask for any of this, and she didn’t have a choice in the matter.

I think the Safe Haven law serves a purpose. It’s a shame it isn’t widely known. Would knowledge of this law have made a difference in this instance? We hide it, because people fear another land grab by the welfare state. I think the law should have some kind of advertising campaign, or maybe get discussed in schools. I know it’s possible that Angel Rose’s mother never went to school, but you have to start somewhere.

People aren’t going start dropping newborns off by the hundreds. I think we need to be realistic about it, and let people know there is an option. Maybe that’s what I’ve just done.

I’m still a little freaked out about the whole deja vu thing. I hope someone didn’t get the idea from my story. She would have been 8.5 months pregnant when I published it.

I’ll try to come up with something fun by the next time you hear from me. I’ll straighten up and try to get back on topic around here.

Quick edit: If awareness is a good thing, maybe this post is worth sharing with your friends. Some motivated person might create a Safe Haven law, or place in a community that doesn’t have one.

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48 Comments

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48 responses to “My mind is stuck in a bad place

  1. So very sad. I went back and read your short story because I hadn’t seen it before. It’s a shame Angel Rose couldn’t have had the same kind of outcome. We have Safe Haven laws in my state as well. They give people an option, when they feel trapped. And little ones get a chance at life they might not have had otherwise. This is a heartbreaking story, even sadder because it’s true. It’s nice the city has joined together in ensuring this little girl’s memory is kept alive in the hearts of others.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First time I’ve heard of Safe Haven laws, which sound like something that should be made more common knowledge. As you said, for no other reason than the sake of the baby. The sad thing is that when reading the story you wrote, I was remembering articles over the years where babies were abandoned. It’s sickening that this isn’t as uncommon as we sometimes think. Part of me wants to keep going on about the topic, but it’s far too depressing. Just can’t wrap my head around why people do this kind of stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It may be more common in bigger cities. It’s pretty rare here. Why, might even be something to explore in a story. Fiction can influence people. I only hope the mother didn’t read my story and get influenced the wrong way.

      Like

      • I think part of it is that bigger cities have an odd sense of isolation for its citizens. You may live among many, but you don’t get to know anyone like in the suburbs or rural regions. Honestly, I wouldn’t think along the lines of your story playing a part. There was something ‘wrong’ there to begin with and sadly the mother didn’t get the help she needed. Not really a topic I’m brave enough to face for long. Post-partem depression is still a factor for my wife, so I can imagine a lot of ways this could have been played out.

        Liked by 1 person

      • People tend to turn away from many mental health issues, and tragedy is often the result. Poverty may have played a role too, but I’m less certain about that. Even poor folks manage to raise children.

        Like

      • I feel my inner cynic coming out for some reason. It’s bizarre that mental health is such a taboo topic. The way society works these days, most people have some level of anxiety or depression. The two things just don’t add up for me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • We are trained to lace up our boots and get on with life. In many cases that works. In a few cases, it does not, and a different approach is required.

        Like

      • I wonder if it’s a smart tactic in general. The thing about keeping darker emotions inside is that they fester and that’s when bad things happen. Not saying everyone should run around complaining like they do on the Internet. Just that people need safe outlets to say how they really feel and what they fear.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Very sad, and I can understand why you’d feel a bit freaked-out.
    I think Safe Haven laws should exist all over.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It is very sad, I hadn’t heard of Safe Haven laws, i just looked it up to see if we have something like that over here but we don’t. It seems like a sensible thing, I can’t see that it would make people abandon their babies any more than they do now, just that it gives them a safer option on how to do it, often if young girls isn’t it who have managed to keep their pregnancies secret. I don’t know if it’s just the choice of reporting but it seems like in the news over hear it is more often we hear about abandoned babies being found alive in time thankfully.

    Sometimes we can hear something awful and struggle to move on from it for a while. We just have to process it before we can move on from it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “The law exists to protect the life of Angel Rose and those like her. No more- no less.”—Yes, wonderfully said. I feel exactly the same way. There are many people who would have loved to give her a home. What a sad story.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Oh goodness, what an awful thing. I wouldn’t even attempt to think myself in any way responsible if I were you though. Crazy things like this happen more often than we would like to acknowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s perfectly understandable you feel that way Craig. As for Angel Rose’s parent(s) – it speaks volumes that she was left in a nice, new bag and that there were no apparent causes of death. Whoever put her there in that bag, alive or dead, they cared about her, wanted her… and wanted her to be found. Maybe their story will never be told, but they will have to live with it – let’s hope that news about the Safe Haven statute spreads so it doesn’t have to happen to any newborn or their parent(s) again, wherever they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Duly shared. Such a sad story.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I remember that story. It was evocative. But you’re certainly not to blame. People read horror and crime all the time without thinking about committing the acts they read.
    Terrible situation. I am a pro-choice person, and I am all for Safe Havens. I’d much rather see hope and life, and I think most people feel the same. Without knowing the story in its entirety, we can’t make judgments about what happened. There are too many possibilities.
    In the end, it’s just sad. No matter how many degrees of sadness, shared by how many people, it’s just sad.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I have never been privy to anyone using the law and certainly have not had anyone drop off to me, but I would welcome it. The safe haven laws are good but I don’t think many people feel safe taking advantage of them. I find that the people who generally condemn this sort of thing are also the last people to step up and help a mother in crisis.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is a sad story, played out in different states. Many states have safe havens: police stations and churches too. One infant was found in a nativity scene in December. The most important thing is to protect and save the babies and children.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This story made me feel so angry about the idea that a woman could just discard her newborn baby in this way. But then, anger gave way to compassion, and I wanted to travel through space and time and wrap my arms around her. Maybe she was young, alone, and frightened. Maybe she didn’t know that there was a better, safer way to say goodbye to a child she wasn’t ready to raise. Maybe her choices were taken away from her by someone else. Very sad, in any case.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I’ve asked about writer responsibilities regarding crime on my blog and the consensus was that writers should write with abandon. People do all sorts of strange things for strange reasons. Your version of that story was touching, but it wasn’t original. Not trying to be offensive, just pointing out the obvious. Serge and Coleman killed a man with a lobster. That was original, but I haven’t heard any cases where that actually happened.

    It is a sad story. We have Safe Haven Law here, widely publicized, and still dead babies are found abandoned. It was AFTER abortion became legal that a woman died in my arms after a coat-hanger abortion. Even with knowledge and attempts for safe environment, people do strange things for strange reason. My sensitivities lie with The Girl From Jupiter. Too many unknowns. I feel for both mother and child…and father…nobody ever really considers his role and they should.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not worried about any liability, and she likely never saw my post. Nothing is truly original. Neal Young played during my commute the day before I wrote it. That was the inspiration. Working within government, I know that laws will never protect everyone. Sadness seems to be the overarching theme here.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie and commented:
    definitely spooky!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. i think the safe haven law is a wonderful thing. I agree that it is not about the Mother but about giving the child a chance of life. It should be out there more so that people know about it. People who judge should walk a mile in the other persons shoes before they even open their mouths.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I don’t even know what to write in response to this story – it’s so terribly sad. Both for the mother, for none of us can know what was in her heart, and of course for the baby. I have heard of Safe Haven laws and I think they are in some places in the UK, though I’ve no idea if they’re in my own neighbourhood. Maybe I should find out.
    And I agree with Victo Dolore, that those who point their fingers in judgement are usually the first to criticise and the last to help. It’s a sadness, too, that the city has stepped up to provide a funeral, but not the resources that could have made this situation have another, much happier ending.
    Hope you get out of the bad place soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Helen. I’m a big boy, and understand these things happen in real life. If people become more aware of safe havens, or the plight on others, maybe that’s what I can take away from this.

      Like

  17. Such a tragedy. I can see why you are so moved by it.

    Here in Washington State, we have a similar safe-haven law. There are occasional billboards advocating alternatives to abortion — which basically means adoption — but from adoption agencies and churches. What always gets into a big tangle is when similar information comes from the government. A certain segment of the population will claim that safe havens encourage promiscuity or it’s some kind of conspiracy.

    I think you’re absolutely right that safe haven information could be included in sex ed at public schools. Parents who don’t want their kids in sex ed will already have pulled them out.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I believe many states have a safe haven law. Mass. and New Hampshire do. The law protects innocent lives as you said. Definitely worth while.

    Off topic, sort of…but before Christmas a mother’s boyfriend strangled her 11 mo. old son in our quaint rural town. The town was horrified. The police are still building their case and only arrested him for lesser charges to keep him behind bars. Anyway, I guess I wasn’t the only one who had a hard time driving by the house because two days ago, someone burnt it to the ground. Small town justice at its finest. Too bad the killer wasn’t inside.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. The innocent of this world are the most vulnerable. Even if the baby was stillborn, she deserves more than that.

    Liked by 1 person

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