Monsters and Saviors

I go to work in the dark almost year round. This time of year, there’s a little bit of dawn before I walk in the office, but the days are getting shorter now. It will soon be dark for the whole commute. The point is, I have no idea what goes on in my back yard while I’m away.

Today is my rotating day off. It was glorious to get a couple more hours of sleep. My awakening was not how I wanted to start the day. There were monsters in my back yard.

They make a shrill twittering noise at first. This is the sound of a solo invader. He’s soon joined by others and the sound grows. It’s never loud. Not so loud as to rouse the unaware from slumber. I am not unaware.

I bolted from my bed and shoved a cold cup of coffee in the microwave. While it heated, I downed my blood pressure medication. This encounter would surely test my blood pressure. I even recorded the sound on my iPhone with every intention of sharing with you. I couldn’t figure out how to get it on my blog to prove I’m not crazy.

The monsters fled at the sight of me. They’re only about two inches tall. They aren’t here for me, they only come to steal away my happiness. They did a lot of damage, but I managed to salvage a bit for myself.

It's flat peach season

The dirty buggers start their harvest early. I want a fully ripened peach. The winged monsters don’t wait that long. Peaches ripen a bit at a time. The monsters eat that one perfect bit and move on, leaving the unripened portion to rot. Where they move on to, is the next nearest peach. One tiny little beast will ruin five beautiful peaches to fill its microscopic belly.

My tree overproduced last year, despite my thinning like a madman. It was certain this year would be puny by comparison. It’s not enough to deal with a tiny granddaughter who discovered a baby pumpkin tree. That part I can laugh off. (And it was pretty funny.) These peach eating demons are just wasteful.

I grabbed some small baskets and filled my refrigerator with peaches. There are some green edges on a few of them, but they are mouth wateringly good. I need to scrub them down before eating even though I’m not a big pesticide user. You just never know what the monsters left behind.

Life’s funny sometimes. After salvaging some of my tree’s fruit for myself I heated up another cup of coffee and checked my email. I discovered I had apps to update.

Pinnic updated their cork board app to include index cards. They now offer everything I want in a storyboard app. I emailed them a month or so ago and mentioned this to them. They assured me that index cards would be in the next update. The heavens parted and the angels sang. I think I’m going to recreate my four outlines today in Pinnic. As I do it, I’ll be downing microwave coffee and eating the most perfect flat peaches ever.

Either that, or I’m going to go stand under my tree and eat peaches until the juice runs down my beard. All the while watching the monsters weep from my neighbor’s yard. I haven’t decided yet.


Filed under Uncategorized, Writing

23 responses to “Monsters and Saviors

  1. I saw something about covering fruit with nylons like women wear when we try on shoes. Apparently it makes the fruit unsavory to the critters. I kinda laughed when I read it. Imagine me out there for hours covering the fruit and then the squirrels, who are quite dexterous, unfolding the nylons and munching. I will say, at least the squirrels choose high fruit and eat the majority of each piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi! Those peaches look scrumptious! I’ve never seen the flat ones. Anyway, I’m glad you got to enjoy your peaches. I’d love to see a picture of the tiny monsters and hear what they sound like, if you can figure out how to put it in a post. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m just surprised that you can even get a peach to grow that far north. Nothing eats as good as a peach right off the tree. I wish you luck with the little monsters. Maybe a fake owl perched in the tree. It keeps the birds off the deck at the NC cabin.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Until I read the comments, I couldn’t tell if it was a bird or a bug that was plaguing you. Good luck in the Man vs Nature battle.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your lucky to have such nice peaches in your yard. I haven’t seen many here. Well, here’s to peach jam… and peach pies…and peach sandwiches…and peach pizzas…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. aFrankAngle

    Enjoy those peaches … and don’t forget the ice cream accompaniment.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Torture the monsters!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Note to self: peach trees. We have cherry trees, but never taste them–the birds swarm them the day before they’re ripe; they seem to know that they’re not good enough for us, but fine for them.


  9. Hahaha! Sounds delightful.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Damn those monsters! How dare they! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Fresh picked peaches are sublime. I’m glad you got to enjoy some of yours!


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