Target owns me

I successfully convinced my wife to stay away from Bed Bath & Beyond. We took our shopping spree to Target instead.

For those who missed my post about the camper, we bought a camp trailer this weekend. Now I've been around these things all my life, but I've never owned one myself. The natural progression was to retire items from home service and move them to the camper. Old dish towels, less loved kettles, that sort of thing.

My wife doesn't feel the same way. Oh no, no, no. The camper is shiny and new, and it must have shiny new things inside. All the colors must coordinate. She actually filled up on minor kitchen items, then took them all back because she couldn't get the same color in everything. They had everything in black only. We got black.

Once again we compromised. My extensive collection of cast iron cookware contributed a few items to the camper. I also had some old items with years left in them, like flashlights, lanterns, and even some old towels.

We still need to visit Home Depot or Lowes. Today it was all about Target. It turns out we need throw rugs and runners. We needed new pillows and sheets. To give her credit, the camper has a queen sized bed, and we don't own anything that will fit. I stayed well back when it was time to pick out pillows. Never get between a woman and her pillow. I read Joeyfully Stated, and she described my wife to a tee.

Tomorrow, all the throw rugs and runners are getting returned. Who knows how many times we'll have to go through this process. Wrong size, wrong pattern, wrong color…blah, blah, blah. (She actually suggested that Bed Bath & Beyond might have a better selection. I faked a stroke. I may get nominated for an award for Best Stroke Under the Pressure of Shopping.)

We added in some plastic glasses and one of those things that holds your silverware. (My old camping silverware. Yay!) I wound up sharpening the knives for an hour.

We added some miscellaneous items, lots of them actually. I talked my wife into a hand held vacuum to keep the camper nice and neat. We added a fly swatter, a bottle opener, a little of this, and a little of that. Oh, and a cheese grater. She was so excited to get a new box grater, you have no idea.

I think we're pretty close. We never made it to a hardware store, and there are a couple items we still need. I think we could have a great camping trip right now…if we could still afford the gasoline to go. It sure looks pretty parked in front of my house.



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32 responses to “Target owns me

  1. Aside from affording the gasoline, is there actually going to be any room for you guys in there now with all that stuff? Or worse, what if you didn’t buy enough stuff! Maybe you should have a trial run in your backyard to make sure all is good, just two or three days say, before committing to gasoline.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ali Isaac

    You’re gonna have to take her out on a trial run… soon, very soon, before you both burst!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I miss Target! As a devout worshipper of Our Lady of Cheap, Target is my cathedral. (I think my husband only decided to stop lobbying for more kids when out off fear that the next one would be named Targeta.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Gasoline is always the tricky part. Maybe we should go back to horses and pray the carrot, oats, and hay industries don’t go insane with their pricing. Then again, horses and I don’t get along.

    I think I’ve been in a BB&B once and I vaguely remember not being able to find the exit. I could see it, but there wasn’t a path that lead to it. Might have been an emergency Christmas trip since I keep thinking of red and green.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I confess. I love Bed, Bath and Beyond. I always have a hoard of those 20% coupons tucked away in a drawer. The Target in my area is generally packed so I usually avoid it (I’m not a big fan of crowds), but buying shiny new things for a shiny new camper would definitely lure me there. I can fully appreciate your wife’s behavior because it’s exactly how I would behave, too šŸ™‚ Hope you get to test that camper out soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Don’t blame you for stroking out. BB&B is sooo incredibly expensive and you can find much more affordable and better stuff online. Just have to know where to look. I know she’s having fun, though, can’t fault her that šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m just laughing out loud. Sort of makes me glad we’ve just stuck the RZR and not dived into the camper scene. My husband and I are the poor relatives when our family gets together to camp. Everyone has a camper, including the kids, while we pop up the truck tent. At least we’re off the ground. Wishing you fun adventures with your new mini-home.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I don’t think I would be that keen on a camper, but I love kitchen stuff. We buy coffee beans at BB&B, but I usually make my husband go–with a coupon–just so I don’t look at stuff. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Geez. All that stuff, might as well not even leave home šŸ™‚ Thought I guess a change of scenery out your “kitchen” window would be nice. Happy travels if you ever get out of the yard!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. AHAHAHAHA! Well I just love this, I mean, of course it needs its own sheets and pillows and rugs, and of course it costs a bloody fortune to furnish, it’s like a second house, and of course you don’t wanna get in the way of a woman and her pillows.
    I hope y’all can afford the fuel soon šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sounds like a lot of fun. Shopping is always lots of fun. šŸ˜€ Not to sure on the camping part. šŸ˜€ But it should be good, the camper sounds like a smaller house.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hahahahaha! You’re a smart man. Never get between a woman and her toss pillows.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That’s hilarious! I love how she loves her new baby. Of course the next time she gets mad at you, this new baby might just be your writing bungalow, huh? šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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