Upholstery, stress, and a side of anxiety

It was a stressful day for me today. We started off with the pee wee football game, and that was a breeze. Our grandson is good at defense if someone explains it to him. Turns out he’s a good running back too.

I pumped myself up for the rest of our day, but we forgot our checkbook and had to go back to the house for it. I don’t do well with life’s big decisions, but I have the ability to plow through them. Once I’ve made up my mind, I’m all in.

We went back and forth over upholstery all last night. It turns out that we were choosing the least ugly of three ugly choices. Come to find out, that version was not available in Idaho. We settled for the middle ugly version.

I’m being kind of cryptic, and so what we did today was buy a new camp trailer. We’ve never owned any kind of adult toys in our lives, and it was time. After decades of “maybe next year” we finally decided that next year never comes. We’re in our fifties now, and it’s time for us to have some fun. Here’s what we took home.

It’s one of the smaller Lance campers. I didn’t feel like manipulating a huge camper down the highways and byways. Lance is famous for their slide in campers, and they ought to make a good trailer.

It has a cool slide out section that clearly shows the ugly upholstery inside. We went a bit larger than I wanted, because my wife wanted the bed you could access from either side. Most of them are sideways, and someone has to get in first then sleep against the wall.

That image shows how the bed fits in. It also comes with a cool automatic awning. It has a wind detection program that rewinds it if the wind comes up. It also comes with some cool party lights that my wife really likes. I hope the picture shows the cool party lights.

What drives me crazy is the way all dealerships handle with their customers after you’ve made a commitment. “You want light bulbs with that?” You find out that the $150 per month for the rest of your life actually comes to $250 per month – for the rest of your life. If you want power, you need a generator. But wait, if you want to actually run anything, you need two generators. Cha ching!

We were at the dealership for about six hours while they tried to sell me extended warranties and such. I liked the idea of a Scotchguard on the upholstery and another protectant for the exterior paint. The guy had me sold and seemed to say it was $250 more. When he added it to our contract it was $1400 more. I stopped him cold. Everything is an extra on these things. The financing sucks you in, but you really can’t get that price unless you already have everything you need and waive all the extended warranties.

Then there was the five minute tutorial on how to do everything. It’s a lot of information, and I’m never going to get it until I actually do it once. That freaks me out. So I need some sort of pressure reducing part if I ever hook into water at a campground. That only happens every five years or so, and I have to remember so I don’t blow out the plumbing. Does anyone out there think I’ll remember?

But wait, there’s more. I can’t park this at my house, and have to rent a slot at a storage facility. Cha ching!

So I’m stressed. Honest to God, through the roof stressed. My wife hates this about me, but she acknowledges it if nothing else. We don’t even have an available weekend together until July. We will camp though in 2015, come Hell or high water we’re going.

My wife found some medication that seems to help a man like me. I’m sitting at the Yard House right now. Here is a small dose of Anderson Valley Wild Turkey Bourbon Barrel aged Stout. It helps, but it’s going to take several more.

We already decided we need some more stuff like a cordless drill, toilet brush, new sheets for the bed, and a million other things. Buying the damned thing was only the beginning. (Oh God! She’ll probably want to go back to Bed Bath and Beyond!) I have a ton of stuff from my tent camping days, but she says new stuff is required. She has some say in all this too, but we compromise well.

The camper has USB ports, so I can keep writing, and/or outlining while we’re out. I know we’re going to have a great time, it just bugs me to go through the process of purchasing.

I’m on my third stout now, and things are looking up. Maybe after four or five more pints I’ll be more excited about the process.

I may start writing my next novel out in the pine forest somewhere, while listening to that damned bird. Then again, I might be in a hot springs not really caring all that much at all. Tomorrow never comes, and I think we’re going to enjoy this. It may prohibit some of my weekend posts, but I’ll catch up when we get back home.


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28 responses to “Upholstery, stress, and a side of anxiety

  1. I AM SO JEALOUS! I grew up RVing in my grandpa’s monstrosities. Magical times. Other kids did not get to see the VLA or Roswell or the Niagara Falls mock up. I have been waiting to buy one until the kids are big enough that I won’t have to tie them down while driving. Congratulations!!!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • This one is just a camp trailer, but we’ll have my truck to goof around in after we set up. It’s a huge step for us, but I think there is fun ahead. I’m still pretty stressed out from the process. Maybe I need my blood pressure pill early tonight.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Never been in an RV, but it looks really cool. Sounds like it was an adventure just getting it. Hope you get a lot of fun out of it this summer.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations, and don’t sweat the stress. it sounds like you found the right RX. Now, the obvious question: where to first?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That camper looks really fancy and comfortable. How fun!!!!!! Where are you guys going to go first?


  5. Love hearing the man’s POV on things like this. Too funny! It is beautiful, Craig. My neighbor has one and they’d never get rid of it, even though they barely use it anymore. Unless you count the friend who rented it out for $75./wk. when he lost his house last year. Why can’t you park it at your house?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can see you writing the great American novel in the pine woods to the accompaniment of the generator. It is a beautiful unit.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t know anything about camping. I never thought about all those extra expenses you mentioned. The camper itself looks quite roomy inside. I’m sure you’ll have a great time with it–and some adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This totally rocks!!! You’ll enjoy it forever. I can relate to costs though. We bought a new boat but haven’t been out this past month (best fishing time of the year) cause we had unexpected huge expenses with other issues. That sucks. Enjoy!!! She sure is pretty, and spacious.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. We spent a lot of time “camping” in RV’s when I was a kid. Yours looks fun! Great size! 🙂
    I’m lol’ing at how your wife may take you back to Bed Bath & Beyond. I worked there for a bit when I was young, we called it Bed Bath & My Butt.
    I’m glad y’all decided to do it NOW — Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Looks like you’re going to be having some adventures. What a great way to have a getaway (and dream up some new novels while you’re at it). Congrats! I think it looks awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. WOW! That is SO COOL! Just think of how many boxes of peaches you can fit in there to being me when you two come down to Florida for a visit! I wanna go for a ride! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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